I am not a great gardener. I find there are a million and one more enjoyable things to be done before tinkering with the trellis, haranguing the hedge or grappling with the grass. Mrs Bard says that all I want is the ‘Parasol and Pimms’ part of gardening and that I always seem to ‘pull a Houdini’ (rather than a muscle), when there is work to be done…

Mrs Bard gave me a strimmer for my birthday
I gave her a piece of my mind
She said the garden was overgrown
I thought that she was unkind

Until I went to take a look
And found the shed had gone
I found grandma sat in the long grass
With the lost patio set she was on!

I found the lawnmower choked right up with weeds
Put my foot in a water-filled bucket
Hobbled around clutching my leg
Shouting loudly “OH BOTHER!”

© Baldock Bard 2012
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