Last Week

Posted on October 8, 2012 by The Baldock Bard.

Prior to last Monday, 1^st of October, few knew of a small Welsh market town called Machynlleth. Even fewer had heard of a five-year-old little girl called April Jones.
On Wednesday 3^rd of October, a funeral service was held in Manchester Cathedral for PC Nicola Hughes, gunned down whilst on duty.
On Thursday 4^th of October, another funeral service was held in Manchester Cathedral for PC Fiona Bone, who was killed along with PC Nicola Hughes.
On Saturday 7^th October, Mark Bridger was charged by police with the murder and abduction of April Jones.

Last Thursday, the 4^th of October, my daughter gave birth to a healthy baby girl, Marsya May. In a week in which there was so much unhappiness around the country, it was difficult not to feel guilty for having such personal joy.

Baldock Bard

Camouflaged Parking!

Posted on October 6, 2012 by The Baldock Bard.

Vehicles can now be ‘painted’ in ways unthinkable just a few years ago. One new idea is called wrapping and involves a large computer-generated sticker to be stuck to the outside of the car. This is then heated with a large ‘hairdryer’ and trimmed to fit. When done badly the results can be appalling but when done well it can be very effective…

I went to park in the car park,
I chose an empty space.
It wasn’t all that large,
I wanted to park in that place!

I lined up our large car,
To be able to open the door.
I needed to get the shopping in,
Not drop it on the floor!

Mrs Bard shouted a warning,
I obeyed to save my health.
In the parking space I’d chosen,
Was an Audi – totally stealth!
© Baldock Bard 2012
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Baldock Charter Fair!

Posted on October 5, 2012 by The Baldock Bard.

This morning Baldock is back to normal, the 813th annual Charter Fair has moved on overnight. The noise, light and buzz of a travelling fairground has disappeared and the town returns to normality…

Roll Up! Roll Up! It’s the fun of the fair,
Due to recession there are very few there.
All the rides you loved as a child,
Thanks to theme parks they seem tamer than wild.
The shopkeepers complain it takes up the street,
It’s one of those times that make history complete.
It’s only four days in October’s first week,
Used to be animals of which now not a squeak!
This morning it’s vanished just like a dream,
It marks the start of October or so it would seem.
Now I’m a Granddad, I’ll do as I oughta,
And be there in the future along with Granddaughter!
© Baldock Bard 2012
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Grandfather Bard!

Posted on October 4, 2012 by The Baldock Bard.

There are many rites of passage in life. Some are un-nerving, some are frightening and some are absolutely fantastic! Having been in at the birth of two children, I thought nothing could ever come close to that emotional roller-coaster ride. Well I was wrong!

This morning I became Grandfather Bard.

Our daughter gave birth to a baby girl by text! Receiving messages at infrequent intervals had me wondering if I should reach for the self-administering tranquilizer gun. I paced the house, drank far too much coffee (with it allied trips for relief) and even trawled the Internet aimlessly (randomly ending up at Pitcairn Island!).

It took a further two hours to learn the weight (7lbs 11oz) and come to terms with this life-changing event. Now it’s off to view for the first time and I can’t wait.

Thank heavens for little girls…

A very proud
Grandfather Bard

A Spot of Painting!

Posted on October 4, 2012 by The Baldock Bard.

I’ve always been jealous of DIY champions. You know the type: their partners are always going on about how “Fred laid us a new patio last night!” or “Tom is such a marvel with his hands, he built a pagoda in the garden last weekend, weaved entirely out of trimmings from the strimmer!” To me the worst boast is about those who, according to their other halves, are ‘house Van Goghs’ and paint anything that can’t escape…

I am crap at painting,
I spill it on the floor,
If I attempt to paint the ceiling,
I seem to cover the door!

I thought I’d impress my darling,
(She was out all day),
With a fresh coat in the kitchen,
So she would say: “Wow Hey!”

I covered up the table,
And attempted first the ceiling,
Looking up made me dizzy,
That’s why I tripped, was reeling!

My foot went in the can,
That put paid to that,
What worried most of all,
Was the white stripe on the cat!

I rang up a professional,
I pleaded for him to come,
When she came home he was finishing,
A very successful outcome!

© Baldock Bard 2012
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Sunset over Baldock!

Posted on October 3, 2012 by The Baldock Bard.

Just occasionally nature gives us such a spectacular light-show that words cannot begin to do it justice. A couple of nights ago I witnessed such a display by accident and quickly snapped away with my i-phone. It was as if nature was reminding us that our artistic efforts are futile when compared to our natural surroundings. Words cannot compete, so I shall use no words…

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Seed Time the Right Time!

Posted on October 2, 2012 by The Baldock Bard.

Hurrah! Next years crops are in the ground. This may sound like a celebration of nothing, but in farming terms it is most important to get this end of the growing process right and the seed into a fine warm seedbed. You can’t make a silk purse out of a pig’s ear. For once the seedbeds have been near perfect, the weather dry with a sprinkling of rain at just the right time. Lady Luck has been with us…
Late last night when some were in bed,
James brought the drill from the field and said:
“Thank heavens that’s done for another season,
I can now watch the forecasts for a light-hearted reason!”
I looked around the shed where the seed had been,
Just a pile of big bags, empty and clean!
We’re growing Scout and Invicta wheat,
And Gerald oats makes our cropping complete.
Apart from the beans which in the spring we will sow,
We’ll now sit back and watch the crops grow!
© Baldock Bard 2012
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The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th! 
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Hazel’s Pristine Audi!

Posted on October 1, 2012 by The Baldock Bard.

It’s always exciting when a friend gets a new car! What will they choose? What colour and what level of trim? In some workplaces hierarchy or performance is shown by Fred having an ‘X’ or a ‘LX’, metallic paintwork or plain primary colour. Friend Hazel chose a white Audi (to compliment the sunflowers)…

Hazel drives an Audi,
A very smart company car.
It’s always sparkly clean,
The cleanest car by far!

It’s not considered ‘girly’,
Or manly by a mile.
Husband Matt is fine with that,
Passenger with a smile!

She had a choice of motor,
A Ferrari was too dear!
Her manager suggested:
“Should have had a Kia!”

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above 
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th! 
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