Thirty-Five Years!

Posted on May 19, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

A rare photo of Mrs Bard with her Granddaughter!
Thirty-five years ago a nervous young Bridegroom with wet hair stood in a small chapel in South Wales waiting for this bride-to-be. I had not taken much notice of the time and had wandered around the shops in Llanelli looking for a tie to wear! I then had a leisurely bath, having dragged the hotels TV into the bathroom doorway so I could watch Swap Shop! This was followed by hammerings on the door as my Best Man attempted to speed up my leisurely bath in attempt to get me to the chapel on time. As a result when I ‘made my entrance’ it was on all fours as I tripped over a step, with wet dark hair (my hair changes colour as it dries!). My intended was a little late (I think!) despite having been in jeans some ten minutes before the ceremony.
I thought I was the luckiest man on the planet… and I still do. How Mrs Bard has put up with me for all these years, I have no idea. Sometimes she says that she’d have got less if she’d buried me under the patio! However she’s been there, always by my side and today we celebrate thirty-five years since that day when I fell into marriage with wet hair!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

Keeping Trim with Mr McConnell

Posted on May 17, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

With the warm wet weather we’ve been having of late the grass is growing like… well, grass! Missing a weeks mowing means more time next week. Many have asked how we keep our large car boot sale field so wonderfully trim. We have a secret weapon, enter stage left Mr McConnell…

Mr McConnell has bat wings,
Mows grass for a living,
People ask what he does,
He’s so very willing!
On arrival at the field,
He gently spreads his wings,
And with help from the tractor,
Starts off mowing things!
Up and down the field he goes,
In his wake the grass surrenders,
And very soon off home he goes,
To relax in front of Eastenders!
It may look to the trained eye that Mr McConnell has left some grass un-mowed. This is done on purpose to aid the sellers to park their vehicles in a nice straight line. Mr McConnell doesn’t mind this as he likes nice straight lines (and a glass of cool beer on a hot day after hours of mowing!).

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

That Friday Morning Feeling!

Posted on May 16, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Following a busy week at work, sheep rush to the pub near Baldock!
Friday has come around again! I’m not sure how we all made it, but somehow we reached the end of a particularly trying week unscathed. However someone once told me that it takes a miserable Monday to make a fantastic Friday and that if it was weekend every day we’d long for a Monday morning! I’ve decided that tomorrow morning I’m off to the Baldock Car Boot Sale, hope you’ve something good planned…

I’ve got that Friday feeling,
It’s been building all week long,
Just last night I found myself,
Bursting into song.
I know that it’s unhealthy,
To so long for the weekend,
But I find it necessary,
Or I’ll go right round the bend!
So POETS day is here at last,
Soon to work I’ll crawl,
The best idea I’ve had all week,
Not go to work at all!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Counting Blessings!

Posted on May 15, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday I went for a long walk with my 18-month-old Granddaughter. ‘Quality Time’ is a phrase much banded about in child welfare circles. My quality time with her didn’t involve a trip to a fast food joint, buying the contents of a toy store or any form of organised play, it was old-fashioned free…

It was a beautiful, early summer, afternoon,
In mid-May, not even yet June,
We went for walk in the wood,
I guess we’re lucky that we could.
We played ‘choose the stick’ many times,
Sang a few out of tune Nursery Rhymes!
Tried to make a long daisy chain,
Waved at aircraft coming back from Spain!
We picked some yellow Buttercups,
Blew Dandelion seeds just for lucks!
I enjoyed my time (I’m regressing?)
Was a walk when I counted every blessing!

The Smuggler’s Moon!

Posted on May 14, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

I looked out across the river the other evening and grabbed my camera. For once in my life the picture came out surprisingly well considering I’m only a ‘point and squirt’ snapper. In fact I was so proud of my efforts that I had to find some words to go with it. So with apologies…

Twas a dark, dark, night at the head of the river,
Just cold enough to make you shiver.
When Captain Tom and his First Mate Jacko,
Came ashore with contraband tobacco.

They tied the boat up to the jetty,
With gloved hands that were shaky and sweaty.
Then set off down the unlit road,
Two strange men 18th Century-clothed!

Keeping eyes skinned for the local law,
They headed towards the bar room door.
The barmaid looked up from the cat she was stroking,
“You can’t bring that in ere, this is NON SMOKING!”

Bobbing Heads and Arms!

Posted on May 13, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

On Sunday morning I was down by a local river when a siren sounded and there was a noise like a gigantic washing machine. Thinking tsunami at the very least, I prepared for the worst, only to be discovered looking a fool attempting to don a life jacket, as a whole group of triathlon swimmers swam past…

Some wear purple,
Some wear red,
Sometimes an arm,
But mostly head!
Following a swim,
For 1500 metres,
A 45k bike ride,
For body-pain seekers!
And if that’s not enough,
To be called fun,
You just add,
A 10k run!

I’m a wimp,
I don’t care,
Spectating only,
Saves wet hair!!

Thanks to all those from NiceTri for providing such stimulating entertainment early on Sunday morning. www.nice-tri.co.uk

Rosie and the Policeman!

Posted on May 12, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Rosie the English Bull-Terrier is one of my favourite dogs. When nobody is looking she can leap tall buildings and outrun the mechanical hare at the greyhound stadium. However her favourite occupation is to sit and watch the world go by while composing doggy poetry in her head. On Saturday she brought her human, Rachel, to the farm gate to watch the Friends Life Women’s Tour Around Britain Ladies Cycle Race go by. Nobody was prepared for what happened next…

Rosey and Rachael were on the grass,
Waiting for the cyclists to go zooming past.
When a police motorcyclist screeched to a halt,
“Oh dear!” thought Rosie, “it wasn’t my fault!”
The tall burly policeman with a tear in his eye,
“Can I please stroke her? I’ve just had mine die”
And then he was off, his face filled with glee,
Leaving Rosie to ponder “how soft humans can be!”

With many thanks to the unknown police outrider who made our day!
© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Rain From the West!

Posted on May 10, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

This morning is going to be one of those ‘Do we, Don’t we’ days! The forecast shows enormous rain blobs the size of a farm over Baldock. The forecasters are wearing their ‘Now listen to me, it’s going to be bad, or maybe not’ faces and only ‘Him upstairs’ has any idea what the weather is going to do for the next few hours. So I’m destined to be wrong ~ Wrong if I open the car boot sale and most customers stay away because it’s raining and wrong if I shut the gates and go back to bed! (i.e. answer the phone all morning as the rain has cleared and people can’t understand why the boot sale is off!). I’m going to be wrong with a smile on my face…

Rain, rain, go away,
Don’t come back on Saturday!
Come in the week,
Come at night,
Not on a Saturday,
It just ain’t right!
I know that it’s a lot to ask,
But just oblige on this little task.

A lot of people at home you know,
Looking out of the window,
“Do we go?
Is it still raining?
Will it stop?
Will our toddler have a strop?
We’ve packed the car,
It’s in the drive,
Will it be raining when we arrive?”

So do it for others,
Do it for me,
And I a happy farmer will be!
My crops need water,
To make them grow,
But on a Saturday…
…damn it, just go!

The New Cat!

Posted on May 9, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

My daughter’s family has a new cat to join the menagerie. They are now a two cat, one dog and one toddler family! At the moment New Cat is slightly unsure of her surroundings following a traumatic few days transition at the local vets after post-accident rehab. However she’s coming around to thinking life may not be quite so bad after all, I sometimes think we should use the same philosophy…

New Cat sits in the child’s high chair,
Knowing that she won’t be bothered there.
She looks down on the dog,
She looks down on the child,
Both the things that are driving her wild!
Tomorrow she’ll purr,
Tomorrow she’ll play,
Because tomorrow she’ll decide she wants to stay!

The Flowering Cherry Tree!

Posted on May 8, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

The Flowering Cherry Tree is making a spectacle of herself again this year! There is so much blossom that it almost hurts the eye when the sun is out. It is such a vivid pink that I couldn’t resist a photo before its ultimate fall from grace…

There’s a beautiful show on the cherry trees,
Confetti enough for a bride to please.
In the churchyard and all around,
Very soon it’ll be on the ground.
From a distance an entrancer,
Reminds me of a ballet dancer!
While it lasts for many a day,
We’ll enjoy it’s pink array!

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Monthly Archives: May 2014