The Allotment Holders!

Posted on June 5, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

There are currently 330,000 allotments in the United Kingdom. With its roots in Anglo-Saxon times, allotments became widespread during the Nineteenth Century when small plots of land were given over to the labouring poor. Today these small pieces of land are as popular as ever with more people enjoying ‘the Good Life’ and discovering the taste of truly fresh food…

Old Jack wanders down the road at nine,
To hoe his beans tied up with twine.
After the school run his plot-neighbour Sue,
Parks the Volvo she has much to do!
“Know anyone with spare pea sticks?”
While Eric with care some cabbages picks!
Michelle has three rows of early spuds,
Makes a change from dishwashing suds!
They share, they help, they cooperate,
And enjoy fresh veg upon their plate!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
New! – Video from the bootsale 17/5/14!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbIERPYokho
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Trials of Shopping with an Elderly Human!

Posted on June 4, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

While in a town centre recently we watched a terrier take his elderly human shopping. He drove up in a little electric scooter, gave the human a list and sat patiently waiting for his return…

Jack the Russell drives to the store,
His human needs dog food and more.
He parks the buggy outside the shop,
Looking forward to a juicy lamb chop.
Little girls peer and point,
Them, with egg, he’d like to anoint!
The terrier looks at his watch you see,
It’s almost time he was home for tea.
At last the human comes through the door,
Just in time, couldn’t take much more.
The shopping stowed and off they go,
The pavement traffic’s very slow!
Beeping the horn, “Get outa my way!
I want to get home, not tomorrow, TODAY!”

Dancing with the Captain!

Posted on June 3, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Being not a great drinker my downfall seems to be drinks that taste un-alcoholic but disguise their true strength behind something like lemonade. This is like stroking a fluffy kitten that then draws blood with tooth or claw, or the horror felt by the poor woman that was sold a mini-pig but ended up with a fully-grown boar that wrecked her town house. So it’s goodbye Captain (until the next time!)…

The Captain called the other night,
I gave in without a fight,
He told me that I’d have great fun,
If I took a glass or two of rum!
At first it tasted sweet and light,
Then the evening turned to night,
Out to play came wobbly legs,
No chance of dancing on empty kegs!
The mouths pronouncements out of control,
Many theories I did extoll,
Come next morning I didn’t feel well,
As I told the Captain to go to Hell!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
New! – Video from the bootsale 17/5/14!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbIERPYokho
Facebook: Baldock Bard Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Those Magnificent Men…!

Posted on June 2, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

During the Baldock Car Boot Sale last Saturday we had an air-intrusion that made many customers look to the skies. The angry-wasp sound of a microlight grew louder and louder until the aircraft buzzed down the length of the field and disappeared off over the hill. It reminded me of a film years ago called Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines…

Sunday afternoon film
‘When I were a lad’
An air-race to Paris,
Terry Thomas the cad!
How modern microlights,
Stay in the air,
They look flimsy as biplanes,
Used to look there!
I was once offered a flight,
A microlight pilot I met,
The next time I saw him,
He was upset:
“I was taking off well,
I failed to gain height,
Just six busted ribs,
‘Spose it served me right!’
I remember a man,
Who eschewed modern things,
He said, “If man were supposed to fly,
He’d have given us wings!”

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Monthly Archives: June 2014

The Allotment Holders!

The Trials of Shopping with an Elderly Human!

Dancing with the Captain!

Those Magnificent Men…!