The Bank Holiday Funfair

Posted on August 31, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Sick of the stop-start harvest, and fed up with looking at wheat soaking up rain out in the fields, Mrs Bard and I made for a riverside abode over the Bank Holiday. A funfair, dragon-boat racing and fireworks were to be the ideal distraction from the soggy farm. Saturday’s drowning of a 40-year-old father of three young children, as he swam to retrieve a football, put life sharply into prospective. The soggy fields were forgotten, the charity dragon boat racing was cancelled along with the fireworks and the funfair was left to spend a damp and long weekend with little reward…

The funfair stays,
bedraggled by Bank Holiday weather;
damp rides, damp showmen,
and dampened spirits.

Flowers accumulate,
at the riverside in memory,
of a father of three small children,
who slipped under the water,
not yards from the riverbank.

For the family left behind,
life is not fun,
nor is it fair.

Our thoughts are for the family and friends of James Griffin, RIP.

© Baldock Bard 2015
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A Wet Harvest!

Posted on August 28, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday afternoon the sun shone, the birds sang and everything was well in the world. The crops weren’t dry enough to harvest, but they were drying… until another heavy shower dampened both wheat and spirits. My father always warned about a wet harvest…

My father once sat me upon his knee,
“Now son listen carefully to me!
Don’t you ever dare forget,
Some harvests can be soaking wet.
The wheat stands sadly row on row,
If wet too long it begins to grow.
So my farmerly advice – never forget,
Harvest when you can… tomorrow may be wet!”

Did I listen? Did I care? Nah! When you’re a kid, moralistic tales mean nothing! So here I am, an old man, waiting for the weather to change on an August Bank Holiday Weekend, which everyone doth know… is always wet! However we also know we can’t change the weather, so Happy Bank Holiday Everyone!

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every Saturday until the end of October
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22 (35) Today!

Posted on August 27, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

It is strange how sometimes inanimate items can provoke the strongest of reactions. Today’s photo may seem rather strange but the words were written by my son, David, on August 27th 2002. He was driving the tractor and trailer, bringing wheat back to the farm on his 22nd birthday and was as happy as happy could be. Doing what he loved, surrounded by people he loved on the farm he loved.
But, of course, life is not a fairytale and David was killed by a drunk driver at university the following February, aged 22.
The following harvest I went to fetch the tailgate to put on the trailer. As it was heavier than I could possibly carry, I attached it by chain to the forklift. While traveling up the yard it swung around to reveal the message. It was the first of many unexpected moments that would (and will) span the rest of my life.
The trailer is long since gone, however the photo and memory survive. This day has become harder as the years progress and there is no answer or relief.
Perhaps I should put ’35 Today’ on our current trailer.

Please give your loved ones an extra hug today. If you can’t, give them a ring and say those three immortal words: “I love You”.

Happy Birthday David, miss you.
Harvest 2002 with David at the wheel!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Teaspoon of Life!

Posted on August 26, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Is your glass half full or half empty this morning? Chances are that if you’re a farmer looking out onto damp fields you might think the latter while reality suggests the former! I was moping about worrying about damp crops still in the field when suddenly I remembered that there was a large heap of dry grain in the barn, tipping out the washing-up-bowl also brought good news, so it looks like it’s going to be a good day…

There’s always a teaspoon left in the sink,
Just shout ‘Hurrah!” and make yourself a drink!
While you’re waiting for the kettle to boil,
Think of a positive in your daily toil.
If there’s no positive or none you can think,
At least you’ve an extra teaspoon found in the sink!

Have a great day and watch out for those lucky teaspoons in your life!

Dolly Worries About Her Mummy!

Posted on August 25, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Dolly the horse lives at the farm. Her ‘mummy’, Charlotte, swam the Channel a year ago. Dolly wondered what she’d do next. Last weekend it was Paris, however as expected, not the easy way…

Dolly was in a trance
When Charlie swam to France
“They do have ferries
As hedgerows have berries
She’s led me a merry dance!”

“This year to Paris she went
With a bicycle but not a tent!
Could have gone by car
or Eurostar!
But cycled with charitable intent”

“What is she next to do?
Hang-glide in darkest Peru?
I would be frantic
If she rowed the Atlantic
What’s a poor horse to do?”

If you are feeling generous please support the riders who are raising money for the Willow Foundation. It’s really easy! Text XBES62 £5 to 7070 or click this link to donate http://www.justgiving.com/Passport-Peleton?utm_id=26
Please donate – Dolly says Thank You!

Harvest (at last)!

Posted on August 22, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Just as dust was drawing in last night we started harvest. The wheat was dry and ripe, the night was cool and off we went! Luckily the crop was dry and the temperature low enough to be tipped straight onto the floor of the shed. However none of us had expected such a late night…

Harvest has started,
the dust is here again,
that we don’t mind,
so long as it is not rain!
John is carting wheat,
to the store from the field,
and tipping it in the barn,
who knows about the yield?
Suddenly it’s late,
it’s after half-past-one,
We all should be getting sleep,
ready for tomorrow’s sun!

Have a great weekend and enjoy the sun, sorry about the dust but we’re in a hurry!

Baldock Bard 2015

My Car’s Cat Seat!

Posted on August 21, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

The other day I discovered my granddaughter’s cat sitting in her car seat. Unfortunately I was a few miles from home. Luckily I hadn’t yet parked, however the cat didn’t seem at all concerned or worried. Next time I won’t be leaving the door open as I dash back inside for forgotten things…

The cat is in the child seat
going for a ride,
with a bottle of drink,
(it’s quite warm outside),
I am off to fetch some parts,
for the large green plough,
don’t realise there’s a passenger,
until she shouts ‘miaow!’
Nearly have a heart attack,
in the middle of the town,
there’s only one action,
I have to turn around.
Next time I’m rushing,
jobs to complete,
I shall check the type of animal
in the car seat!

Splashing Summer Geese!

Posted on August 20, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Yet another day breaks and the weather is decidedly autumnal. Crops are ready but machines and Thermos flasks lay unused. Barns are swept and waiting for the off but the starter is nowhere in sight! The geese however have found happiness amongst the gloom…

The geese are walking in a line,
they wonder why it’s not harvest time,
they were looking forward to fresh wheat,
their bin almost clear of things to eat.
As yet another day is wet,
very soon they can forget,
because of water they are fond,
as they swim around the flooded pond.
They smile and squawk as they are finding,
that their cloud has a silver lining!

The Enormous Spanner!

Posted on August 19, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

For the last few days on the farm we have been preparing for a harvest that keeps being delayed by showers of rain. Those little last-minute jobs that should have been done when there was time have become Herculean tasks. You’d have thought that after all these years I would have learnt…

You don’t need a sledge-hammer to crack a nut,
or a dirty-great spanner when your watch goes ‘phut!’
When all seems as bad as it possibly can be,
it’s time to sit down with a nice cup of tea!
Step back from the problem and it’ll shrink,
Because nothing is insurmountable (or so I think?).

If anyone knows were I can buy a few warm dry days, please let me know. All the wholesalers around here are fresh out of them and the only ones left are dodgy second-hand ones on the Internet!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Cowman’s Lament

Posted on August 17, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

When I left school I worked on a dairy farm. In those days, every country road used to see a dairy tanker in the mornings. Now I have trouble working out where my nearest milk producing farm is, I think there might be one in Essex but I’m not sure. When the price of a single cigarette is more expensive than milk, you know somethings wrong…

Old Sam used to love his cows,
more love for them than his wife allows!
‘Marlene Three’ was his dear,
She’d stamp and flick her tail in your ear!
He’d call her always “ma wee hoor!”
before she exited the parlour door.
What he’d make of milk today?
“I’m better off in heaven'” he’d say.

With love and best wishes to dairy farmers across the UK, and especially those facing a future without cows. Sam died over thirty yeas ago and cows disappeared from the farm he worked on some time later.

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Monthly Archives: August 2015