Since recently sowing acres of beans and oats, I have a problem. As a farmer it’s not my intention to provide a free takeaway to the varied bird population of North Hertfordshire. There are traditional methods of bird scaring from the small child with wooden spoon and saucepan, right up to today’s high-tech banger with gun and siren. However, thanks to a farmer up-north I can add drone or UAV…

The ‘effin pigeons sit and laugh,
when I get out my gun,
“You couldn’t hit an ‘effin barn door!”
as they munch my crops in the sun.
But then the dastardly farmer,
in defeat has gone back home,
and suddenly they’re very afraid,
rape alarms on the feet of his drone!
“Oh good heavens what is that?
the noise goes through my head!”
with a cough they all fly off,
to my neighbours crops instead!

With best wishes for April Fools Day and apologies to all my farming neighbours! Coincidently this also happens to be my 1,234th posting!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Returns Next Saturday
April 9^th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk