Monthly Archives: June 2016

Terminus 2066!

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PaddingtonThe other day I went down to Paddington Station in West London to collect an aged relative. On my way to spend 30p at the conveniences I looked up at the roof of this ancient monument to mass transit solutions. It led me to wonder what lay in store for rail travel in the future and which of our present customs would remain…

Will there still be antique stations,
when trains are supersonic?
Will platforms remain the same,
some arrival times still chronic?

Will the guard still blow a whistle,
even though trains automatic?
Will we alight in London,
next stop the Adriatic?

Will commuters pack like sardines,
on their way to Town?
Or will the work come to them,
still in their dressing gown!

Will it still hold a child’s wonder,
an open-mouth gasping stare,
I hope it’s still spectacular,
even though I won’t be there!

I consider myself very fortunate that I walk to work and don’t squeeze into a over-full carriage with other city-bound commuters. So for me the excitement of a train journey remains something special and reassuring in this ever-changing world.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Wholesaler’s Bargain!

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Rain GuageThe last two days have been the grottiest start to June that I can remember and customers of mine want to know what I’m going to do about it! Every week I get at least six phone calls to ask what the weather is going to do at my Saturday Car Boot Sales. Unfortunately I don’t have a direct line to ‘Him Upstairs’, despite what some might think. In order to forestall some of the detailed metrological questioning i sometimes pretend I have visited my wholesaler…

Someone rang and asked me,“Mike,
what do you think the weather’ll be like,
next weekend, because I’d like you to tell,
if it’ll be dry at the boot sale to sell”

I told him that ‘I’m not Mike’,
wasn’t really sure what the weather will be like,
but I had been down to the local wholesaler,
Salt of the Earth, was a deep sea sailor!’

‘Have you some dry Saturday’s for sale?
there are none on the shelf as far as I can tell.’
He replied with a Sea-Salts refrain,
“I’ve only a second hand weekend from Spain!

However if you want at a price that’s right,
a Hebridean week, cool dry and bright!”
I told him I’d take the Spanish weekend,
or my customers will think I’m around the bend!

Have a great day and if you notice some sunshine lurking around, please put it on a bus send it it my direction, I’ll pay the fare on arrival!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Nocturnal Toothache Cures!

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CuresThere are worse afflictions in the world than toothache. However having toothache in the middle of the night, when all around is silent, seems to heighten the pain to such an extent that any self-administered cure is considered…

I lie awake my mouth is in pain,
the pillow could be made from a steel frame.
Into the bathroom to re-brush my teeth,
it’s not them that hurt but underneath!
Go to the fridge, milk may be the cure,
it’s very cold, freezing pain to endure.
Put some malt whisky into a glass,
warms the throat but the pain doesn’t pass.
Make a coffee to quell the troubles,
burn your tongue the pain more than doubles.
Reach for a bottle of ‘Oil of Cloves’,
burns the lips but that’s how it goes.
Thinking ‘Power Drill’ the brain sends a warning,
I’ll ring the dentist first thing in the morning!

If you’ve got toothache, there is only one cure, an appointment with your local friendly dentist! Have a good day!
P.S. Have been to the dentist, he drilled and poked and the pain has gone!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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