The Pushchair Dog!

Posted on July 14, 2016 by The Baldock Bard.

I have only seen a dog being pushed around in a pushchair twice. Both times have been at the car boot sale I organise every Saturday, the first time many years ago, the second a more recent occurrence! Whether this has something to do with the sales, the weather or something in the local water, I have no idea. Looking through some old boot sale photos I came across an example of this unique way of boot sale dog walking…

A woman customer that I know,
Had a dog that old did grow!
Off his feet, off his walks,
Barked so loudly when anyone talks.
She always found it quite a hoot,
To take dog in pram to the car boot.
Other dogs begged their owners,
to become dog-pushchair donors!
But most doggy-types refused,
saying simply, “We’re not amused!”

Have a great day and enjoy taking your dog for a walk!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Window Moth!

Posted on July 13, 2016 by The Baldock Bard.

We are so lucky that there are so many wonderful species on this rock that floats in space! Yesterday I realised how ignorant I am when a moth flew into the house from the garden and I had no idea what it was called. This morning when I put in ‘Moth Identifier’ to Google, it was at the top of the first page…

A moth flew into the kitchen,
yesterday morning,
Granddaughter raised a shout,
a rather noisy warning!
I grabbed my i-Phone quick,
as it flew towards the window,
searching on the screen,
as if playing Nintendo!
Finally it flew and landed,
on the kitchen table,
convenient for this rhyme,
as it’s called an Argent Sable!

To some it’s known as Rheumaptera hastata, but it’s too early in the morning to find something that rhymes with ‘hastata’ and I’ve only had a single coffee!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

What When and How!

Posted on July 12, 2016 by The Baldock Bard.

Today we have our annual inspection. Passing this examination leads to stickers which are attached to a passport which accompanies every load of grain and pulses that leaves the farm. This assures the end user that we have taken all legislative and ‘best-practice’ steps to safeguard the quality and provenance of that crop, from planting to harvest and every operation in-between. Such an undertaking requires gold-star record-keeping of every operation…

What, When and How,
important words today,
we have our annual inspection,
fail it and we’ll pay.
It’s all about traceability,
to show you’re not a fraud,
alas it doesn’t apply,
to foodstuffs from abroad!

Mrs Bard has been busy,
with my paper-work,
it’s now all in one file,
(I drive her quite beserk!)
They’ll inspect all my records,
the barns and chemical store,
and thanks to Mrs Bard’s patience,
it’ll be alright I’m sure!

Whatever you are doing today may it be successful and may you too get stickers!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Perfect Plant Carrier!

Posted on July 9, 2016 by The Baldock Bard.

I always like to see people leaving our Saturday car boot sale having had a successful morning. People often ask me: “What sells?” I have to answer truthfully: “Anything that somebody else wants!”. Last week I saw a couple leaving having had a successful buy…

Bob and Jill went looking for plants,
(they’re just back from holiday in France!)
Went along to the Baldock Boot Sale,
hoping that their search wouldn’t fail!
“I like these ones!” said an excited Jill,
“but our small car will overfill”,
“Don’t worry!” said Bob (sounding all aloof!),
“You forget we have a folding roof!”

Have a great weekend filled with laughter, sunshine and friends!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Blackgrass Kills Crop

Posted on July 7, 2016 by The Baldock Bard.

Blackgrass threatens and outgrows wheat

When things go wrong with a crop they are generally highly visible. My father would approach June with a nervousness normally associated with dentistry, just in case Essex farmers, passing on the road to a major show or event, might just spot weeds on his fields! This year, as a result of much rain at key times rendering highly expensive chemicals useless, my wheat is full of a highly-invasive grass weed called ‘Blackgrass’. One field has so much that this morning we are going to spray off and kill the crop, far too early to harvest, in order to attempt to halt the weed’s annual progress…

Watch out Blackgrass here we come,
the Sherriff’s after you with his ‘gun!’
You killed my wheat, stole my yield,
now I’ve got you surrounded in my field.

We’ve driven the crop in the tractor,
made the decision – a harrowing factor.
Despite the loss, not one to be crowed,
At least it can’t be seen from the road!

Sometimes in farming you have to stand up to nature’s bullies.

The Yellow TR6!

Posted on July 6, 2016 by The Baldock Bard.

It is strange how certain objects can resurrect memories that you thought were lost for good. Yesterday I saw a Triumph TR6 sports car parked next to a museum. It took me right back to a journey down the Cromwell Road in London, when my cousin gave me a lift to the now-forgotten West London Air Terminal where you could check in for a BEA (British European Airways) flight…

I seem to remember we were short of time,
I was Scotland-bound by air for the very first time.
My cousin Bruce, then in his early twenties,
Drove me down the Cromwell Road – acceleration plenty’s!
The roar of the exhaust I remember so well,
speeding down the road going like hell!
In those days speed was an exciting factor,
All I had driven was an ancient rusty tractor!
So this glamorous yellow sports car was an instant hit,
Forty-seven years later I still remember it!

I always promised myself such a car, never had one though and I doubt I ever will. The sixty-year-old me now looks for comfort, safety and reliability! Looking back it was probably my only experience of the glamorous Swinging Sixties!

The Farmhouse Kettle!

Posted on July 5, 2016 by The Baldock Bard.

All visits to the farm whether by agronomist, accountant, neighbour or first-time visitor always seems to end up in the farmhouse kitchen. Much is discussed, both on and off original topic! The most important implement on the farm is used time and time again…

The old kitchen kettle,
sits boiling on the range,
“Fancy tea or coffee?”
The question doesn’t change!
Around the farmhouse table,
a meeting then ensues,
Perhaps discussing crops,
or woodworm in church pews!
“What weather we’ve been having,
have you seen this week’s forecast?
All the weeds in the crops,
are growing mighty fast!”
Perhaps some farming gossip,
“…didn’t know he had a brother!”
The following question,
“Would you like another!”

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Home and Away!

Posted on July 2, 2016 by The Baldock Bard.

Last night a Welsh football team beat the second-ranking team in the world to reach the semi-finals of Euro 16. Did I really just write those words? I’d better just check the Internet to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I’m sure it wasn’t Wales on the billboard I saw the other evening…

Lidl, bless them, are on their own,
the team they supported have gone home,
they came across some Icelandic men,
surrendered the ball and went home again!

But Lo! What’s this? Coming from the West?
Little old Wales in their red vest!
In their way their opponents fall,
strange, it seems the wrong shaped ball?

Now they’re in the semi finals,
there’ll be sore heads in Cardiff urinals!
Back in England football’s millionaires,
watch Wales progress with envious stares!

What is missing on an England shirt,
is pride, resolve and hard work,
Great self-belief seldom fails,
so-poor England, Fantastic Wales!

Have a great weekend, wherever you are, but especially if you are from what they call ‘God’s country beyond England’. Enjoy your moment, you’ve so deserved it!
Beth yw football yn Saesneg?

For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above Facebook: Baldock Bard

Twitter: @baldockbard

E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk  The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD

is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!

Every Saturday April – October 2016 With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!

www.u-boot.co.uk

New Month New Weather!

Posted on July 1, 2016 by The Baldock Bard.

So July is finally here! Not really sure whether we’ve just had June or October! It must have been one of the wettest Junes on record, I certainly can’t remember such a long spell of such disappointing weather for many years. July can’t possibly be as bad…

Pinch, Punch, the first of the month!
No returns, rabbits and hares.
We’ve had enough rain to last us now,
soaking circuses, sodden fairs!
If the latest forecast shows only showers,
and there’s no sign of rain or hail,
grab the kids jump in the car,
and visit Baldock’s car boot sale!

I know you were expecting something better for my 1,300th blog, but sometimes life is like that! Have a great day, the weekend is just around the corner!

BONUS VERSE! 1,300 blogs away I wrote:
Mary had an electric bill,
couldn’t believe her eyes!
Took a pitch at our bootsale,
now her house seems twice the size!

Still one of my favourites!
Best wishes and an enormous ‘thank you’ to all my readers.
Without you there I wouldn’t be here!
Baldock Bard!

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Monthly Archives: July 2016

The Pushchair Dog!

The Window Moth!

What When and How!

The Perfect Plant Carrier!

Blackgrass Kills Crop

The Yellow TR6!

The Farmhouse Kettle!

Home and Away!

New Month New Weather!