A Roadside Discovery

Posted on May 31, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

There are times, in this ‘post-look-anything-up’ world, when the smallest of events or discovery can make your heart sing. We have become so used to digital discovery that we can be startled when we find something in the real world we haven’t seen before. Yesterday our agronomist David reported the discovery of a tiny orchid growing on a roadside verge while he was walking from field to field inspecting our crops.
The Bee Orchid is one of nature’s greatest mimics, its petals look like female bees to a male bee and therefore as he goes to get friendly with his ‘mate’ he pollinates the tiny flower… They say that we humans with our technology are clever.
For once the beauty of this tiny flower has left me speechless. So a picture (worth a thousand words!) will have to replace verse this morning.

Have a wonderful day and remember that sometimes the smallest of discoveries can make your heart sing with joy. BB

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Good in People

Posted on May 30, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

In these strange and uncertain times the kindness and humanity of people is often overlooked. However look at any incident, either national or local, and you will spot ‘Helpers’ Ordinary people who, rather than look away or gawp, do acts of kindness to help. An incident at the car boot sale I organise last Saturday, reaffirmed my faith in human nature…

A man called Dennis went to the boot sale,
as he does every week without fail,
looking around for some paint,
he began to feel quite faint.
All of a sudden he found himself down,
collapsed out cold on the ground.
Up jumped some helpers from their stall,
(didn’t know the collapsee at all),
put him in the recovery position,
“At the boot sale is there a Physician?”

The ambulance drove its way through the crowd,
it’s sirens occasionally quite loud,
took Dennis to Stevenage A&E,
now he’s better and bright as can be.
It just shows that there are good people about,
their deeds not broadcast with a shout,
at a boot sale, in the street, anywhere,
ordinary people who really do care.

With my heartfelt thanks to those who rushed to help. I don’t know your names or where you are from, but if this somehow reaches you, I just want to thank you so much for your acts of kindness. Dennis is much better and will be looking for you on Saturday to thank you in person. BB

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Swan Family

Posted on May 27, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

There is nothing quite like watching the serenity of swans, particularly when they have a family of cygnets. They fuss around them, teaching, feeding and caring. When life seems so unfathomable, the news is bleak and nothing quite makes sense, watching these graceful birds float peacefully down the river often helps to restore equilibrium…

Mother and Father Swan,
gently float on the water,
teaching their cygnets,
what, when, and how they oughta!
When the world is shocking,
and the news makes you shiver,
just stop and observe,
swans float down the river.

May you have a peaceful weekend surrounded by those you love.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

Grandad’s New Mobile Phone!

Posted on May 26, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Just three days ago I could have written all I know about diabetes on the back of a proverbial postage stamp. My diet, although fairly standard, contained more sugar than a field of sugarbeet! Tuesday was a game-changer in many ways (http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=9571) and the new-improved, healthy, Bard Mk2 is up and running (well not quite running, don’t want to overdo it you know!). My latest addition to my collection of electrical gadgetry immediately caught my granddaughters eye…

“Grandad’s got a new mobile!
Can I have his old one?
The screen’s not as big,
for watching Peppa Pig,
will reflect too much in the sun!

What are you doing now Grandad?
Why are you wincing like that?
What was that click?
was it sweets made you sick?,
I’ll fetch you a plaster for that!”

Step away from those sweets and fizzy drinks!
Oh alright then, have one for me!!
That’s the last of ‘Holier-Than-Thou’ Bard!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

Hazel Hen and the Wedding!

Posted on May 25, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Every morning I look through a few photographs, normally taken within the last few days, to kick start some words. Yesterday in the farmyard I happened to come across Hazel Hen, she was looking particularly glamorous, I thought she looked as if she was off to a wedding, what with the fancy hat and stunning dress. This morning I downloaded the picture and the words flowed…

Hazel Hen was off to a wedding,
she put on her very best hat,
the dress she bought from a charity shop,
You can’t get much better than that!
She cried when the bride kissed the bridegroom,
threw confetti on the church path,
tittered during the speeches,
“it’s great to have a good laugh!”
Then it was time for the dancing,
she whirled around the dance floor,
her hat and dress were a shambles,
by midnight couldn’t take any more!

This morning her world is all noisy,
she’s taken more than one pill,
but Friday she’s off to a nightclub,
She’s a game bird who’s up for a thrill!

If you’re off to a wedding anytime soon, enjoy and make sure you let yourself go on the dance floor!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Fraudulent Farmer!

Posted on May 24, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

I feel like a fraud. Yesterday and this morning I have taken up valuable NHS time in our local hospital when I don’t feel ill, nor do I have anything broken! Yesterday (as a bit of a joke because they’d borrowed a machine and knowing my love of anything sugary) Mrs Bard and Daughter Bard gave me a blood-sugar test. Apparently according to those in the know, the result should have read between 5-6, therefore the 28.9 set alarm bells going and I found myself frog-marched to A&E in very short order, despite feeling fine and normal…

It was as if it wasn’t me,
lying on a bed in A&E!
Never before have I given a blood sample,
I suppose at least I have an armful.

As a farmer the sight of blood makes me faint,
as an amateur patient brave I ain’t!
The things that always amaze me still,
the bravery of others who are seriously ill.

The nurse and doctors in the blue-curtained stall,
age creed or race they’ll treat them all.
Of course it is Britain’s greatest success,
Our wonderful and vital NHS.

So it looks as it’s goodbye to old abusive friends such as fizzy drinks, doughnuts, wine gums and Wagon Wheels.
With thanks to all the caring professionals at the Lister Hospital, Stevenage for their patience and care.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

A Day Off?

Posted on May 22, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

As my Saturdays are spent running the Baldock car boot sale, Mrs Bard and I sometimes take Monday off in liew. This is all very well until my untroubled morning is interrupted by the phone and reality pokes its head above the parapet…

No commute for me this morning,
Decided to take the whole day off!
Watch drivers queuing at the junction,
They look with envy – don’t they scoff!
The trouble with living ‘above the shop’
(Or on the farm it’s just the same),
There are always jobs you should be doing,
Like sweeping the farmyard in the rain!
So this morning I’m taking it easy,
A leisurely coffee, “that’s great!” I say,
Then the phone interrupts the silence,
And my day off fades away!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

Doughnuts with Caramel Sauce!

Posted on May 20, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

We all have a favourite place to go to celebrate a birthday, anniversary or even just a Friday or weekend! Mrs Bard and I have sometimes driven thirty-five miles out of Baldock, almost to Newmarket, to eat out at the Hole In The Wall at Little Wilbraham, on the flimsiest of excuses! Yesterday was our 38th Wedding Anniversary, so it was a no-brainer when I wondered where to take the family for lunch to celebrate this milestone.

Alex Rushmer and his crew,
always take such care of you.
It’s no hardship, none at all,
to enjoy a lunch at the Hole in the Wall.

A Masterchef finalist in Twenty-Ten,
his food’s so good we go back again!
To cap it off we choose (of course!)
his famous Doughnuts with Caramel Sauce!

So thanks to everyone for a great lunch,
you are all such an amazing, welcoming bunch!
Added to that a great list of wine,
can’t wait to come back one more time!

Alex and the Crew are at The Hole in the Wall, Little Wilbraham, CB21 5JY. http://www.holeinthewallcambridge.com
You’d better hurry before they run out of Doughnuts!
© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

38 Years Ago!

Posted on May 19, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It is pure coincidence that my 1,500th blog posting has landed fairly and squarely on May 19th. This was the day, thirty-eight years ago, that Mrs Bard said those fatal words “I do” (or rather I think she said those words, as she was speaking Welsh at the time!) Fast forward to May 19th 2017 and she’s still by my side. Considering what I am like, this is no mean feat and one of remarkable courage and tolerance. It is ever-more remarkable when in those days I looked like an extra from the film ‘Planet of the Apes’…

Thirty-eight years today,
I stood beside a bride,
in a village in South Wales,
feeling most nervous deep inside!
When it came to say ‘I do!’
what I can’t ignore,
(I had expected the bride,
to make a dash out through the door!)

Thirty-eight years later,
she’s still by my side,
we’ve been through a lot,
but she’s still my amazing bride!

Have an amazing day and appreciate the one you love.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Three Thieves!

Posted on May 18, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

I have never been a quality fisherman (or writer!), I lack the one characteristic needed: patience! I was looking through some photos this morning, desperate to fill my 1,499^th posting, when I came across a shot I’d taken on the river of three thieves! Now all I had to do was find suitable words, force them to rhyme and I’d be away…

Three crazy fishermen,
John, Ben and Mike,
always swallow what they catch,
especially a pike!
They don’t care where they fish,
river, lake or pond,
they arrive at a competition,
and fish just beyond!
They never use a rod,
fish without bait all day,
never feel the need to brag about,
‘the one that got away!’

Have a great day and if you’re going to act like a Cormorant, just don’t get caught!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Monthly Archives: May 2017

A Roadside Discovery

The Good in People

The Swan Family

Grandad’s New Mobile Phone!

Hazel Hen and the Wedding!

The Fraudulent Farmer!

A Day Off?

Doughnuts with Caramel Sauce!

38 Years Ago!

The Three Thieves!