Monthly Archives: February 2018

The Orbiting Tesla

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I have a sneaking regard for Elon Musk. Not only does he produce one of the worlds most-wanted and ground-breaking range of cars and space rockets, but he has the genius of putting the two together and creating one of the greatest-ever publicity stunts…

I took my Tesla to the stores,
in the car park feeling aloof,
the throttle stuck,
I shouted “F***!”
as I flew right off the roof!

I found myself up in orbit,
floating gently, in space (all alone),
“this is Major Tom!”
‘That Song’ on and on,
as I passed by I waved to home.

The conspiracy theorists on earth,
say I’m really not here,
I’m in my car,
rather be in a bar,
with down-to-earth friends and a beer!

*picture thanks to SpaceX and media outlets worldwide.
© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

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Black and White

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One of the finest of morning views from our kitchen window is deer grazing in the rear meadow. Yesterday there was a whole group, quietly chomping on grass, along with one that was not the same as the others. Despite its unusual light-faun colouring none of the others took any notice…

One odd-coloured deer,
grazing in the meadow,
none of the others noticed,
if a girl or a fellow.

It muddled in with the others,
no sign of any fear,
didn’t matter about the colour,
was just another deer!

None of them shunned it,
no-one called it ‘scum’,
and humans have the cheek to say:
“animals are all dumb!”

If we had half the sense of animals we’d be better humans. BB

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

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A Different Perspective!

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Yesterday I was overflying our woodland with my trusty drone. It is particularly interesting at this time of year before the view is obscured by leaves. I flew over a small pond on the outskirts of the wood that is surrounded by a large bund so it is not visible from the ground. I suddenly understood that it’s refreshing to see things from a different perspective…

It’s good to look from a different angle,
it’s amazing what you are able to see,
things from a different perspective,
not just simply Me, Me, Me!
Too many people on social media,
shout their opinions very loud,
others who may have something to say,
are often hidden by the ‘Shouty Crowd!’
But if you rise high above it,
there’s a different world up there,
ignore the politics and the bullsh*t,
enjoy the peace and keep your hair!

Have a great week and enjoy a different view!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

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Cocky the Pheasant!

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“Pinch, Punch, First of the Month, no returns, rabbits and hares” …and pheasants! The old children’s saying has probably been banned by now but with a small addition it could sum up the beginning of February here on the farm. It is traditionally a month of discontent and bad weather, however for Cocky our friendly pheasant in the garden it means he’s safe from someones pot for another year…

“I’m safer this morning thank goodness,
than I was the day before,
not from the Bard you understand me,
‘cos he couldn’t hit a barn door!

The other day on the drive,
I stood in front of his car,
he opened his door to ‘shoo’ me,
I asked him ‘are we going far?’

I tried to get in through the window,
then had a go at the door,
he drove off at last without me,
leaving me all angry and sore!

I shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds me,
wheat and all sorts of grain,
but the shooting season is now over,
and I’m free to bully him again!”

Having not picked up a gun in years the world is a safer place and the barn door has been mended! If Cocky Pheasant comes at me again I may be forced to swear at him!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

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