I have a nasty bout of a farmer’s complaint. There are two types; the lesser, WATND (What Are The Neighbours Doing!) where a farmer would go home and leisurely change tomorrows plans and the more serious GGWATNUTN (Good Grief What Are The Neighbours Up To Now!). According to self-diagnosis on the internet the latter can result in ‘illogical decisions with irrational behaviour resulting in panic’ and is caused by August, ripening crops, the threat of rain and combine lights at night…

Combine lights on a neighbouring hill
Enough to make a farmer ill
Racing pulse I feel quite heady
Oh good grief their wheat is ready!

Tomorrow combine without fail
But I’ve got a car boot sale!
Cursing the neighbours I get to bed
Should I be getting ready instead?

I cannot sleep I toss and turn
Thinking will I ever learn?
Had I tested the wheat this morning
Would I still be awake and yawning?

Finally I know there’s nothing to do
What will be will be it’s true
Farmers suffer pre-harvest nights
When they’ve seen the combine lights!

© Baldock Bard 2012
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