Buttons the Pirate! | Baldock Bard

Friends have a dog called Buttons. Yesterday the vet had to remove one of Button’s eyes. Buttons has been transformed in an instant. Known locally as ‘a mild-mannered and gentle sort’, the operation has revealed an alter ego: The Pirate Buttons, leader of the craziest bunch of smuggling cut-throats that ever wore a dog collar! Don’t anyone dare mention Cinderella or pantomimes, you could find yourselves sent to Davy Jones’s Locker (Oh yes you will! Oh no you won’t! repeat until bored)…

Buttons is a pirate,
Rules the Severn Seas!
His deputy head,
is a Setter (red),
who never ever says ‘please!’

A parrot on the shoulder,
A patch upon the eye!
A single slash,
with a cutlass rash,
watch out passers by!

The gang are ruthless cut-throats,
A Doberman tried to blag!
Walked the plank,
outside the bank,
head covered by a used poo bag!

Around Topsham in Devon,
Where there smugglers be!
In darkened bars,
selling hooky jars,
of Pedigree Chum for tea!

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