Many years ago we had an emergency on the farm. A passer-by alerted the emergency services to a serious fire and the fire brigade arrived in force to put it out. On Saturday morning I had a customer run up to me and in a faltering voice, between heavy breathing, told me that there was an identical fire by the car boot sale entrance…

“Fire! Fire! Fire!
Call the fire brigade!
there’s smoke down by the entrance,
looks like by yobs it’s been made!”

“Calm down sir, I beg you,
Take deep breaths right now,
Explain carefully if you can,
What, where, when, and how!”

“That straw stack there’s on fire,
it’ll spread across the road,
cars will crash quite soon I fear,
and lorries lose their load!”

I sat him gently in a chair,
“I’ll bring a cup of tea to you,
your straw stack is a pig muck heap,
just a pile of steaming poo!”

© Baldock Bard 2013
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