Running On Empty! | Baldock Bard

It’s National Poetry Day, a day when we celebrate one of the few arts that is almost invisible to the vast majority! Some years ago I mistakenly sent a poem to a national competition. It sank without trace! The following year I was a little more successful, until one year I was runner-up in the local round of a national competition. Unfortunately I was beaten into second place by a seven-year-old girl – Oh the indignity of losing to a verse about a pet hamster! The verse wot I rote has been lost to the mists of time. So to celebrate such an important day I bring you another of my loss leaders…

‘NEXT SERVICES 15 MILES’
Sign passed at speed
Low fuel warning light demands attention
Gauge reading ‘Empty’
Ponder important questions
Cut speed in effort to add miles?
Or increase speed to reach fuel quicker?
Did I renew breakdown insurance?
Do they sell petrol cans at filling stations?
Will I be fuel-less in mobile phone blackspot?
Do I leave motorway and search unknown towns for fuel?
Do I risk running out on side road?
Switch on radio
Pray for traffic report not to mention heavy traffic ahead
Catch traffic report closing jingle
Switch off radio
Traffic increasing
Contra-flow starts
Herd of heavy lorries ahead crawling up Everest sized hill
Can feel fuel lines sucking every last drop
‘SERVICES 1 MILE’
Pat pocket for wallet
Countdown to exit begins
///
//
/
Not far now
Drive round endless loop road to reach fuel pumps
Past Car Park
Past Coach Park
Past HCV Parking
At last!
The pumps
Pull up beside pump number 3
Stop engine
Relief
Fill car
Enter shop
Fill basket with drinks, sweets, sandwiches
Two magazines I’d not normally buy
And petrol can!
Pay £76.28 for petrol
£29.85 for other goods
Drive away
Rejoin motorway
Pass man walking on hard shoulder with can
“Silly Sod!”

The Baldock Boot Sale is open every Saturday at 7am
Twenty-one years and still selling!
FREE parking and entry for all buyers, princesses, dogs and aliens!
www.u-boot.co.uk
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