I have a weakness for the baker’s shelves. As I get older I find it nigh on impossible to pass the baker’s shop in Baldock without sneaking in for a crafty iced donut or bun. However I console myself with the fact that I only pass the shop once or twice a week, unlike some…

Slim Jim Jones likes sweet cakes,
From the baker not branded makes,
Every time he walks by,
He has to go inside and buy!

His trousers started getting tight,
Heartburn stalked his chest at night,
His wife started calling him ‘Jumbo Jim’
He could no longer be called slim!

His mother even asked one day,
Was there news of a child on the way?
The next stage was a pavement scooter,
With flying pendant and squeaky hooter!

Now he sleeps in an empty bed,
Looks like a rhino with a pumpkin head,
His wife wouldn’t stay, he tried to make her,
She’s gone to live with a cream-cake baker!

© Baldock Bard 2014
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