Yesterday I was strolling through a town centre when I heard the unmistakable sound of protesting tyres. Pedestrians leapt for their lives as the turbo-charged grandma came into view. Her walker, aerodynamic and sleek was being pushed to the very limit as she sped through the pedestrian centre; here was a pensioner on a mission…

Nan’s a pavement racer,
She races into town,
Her wheels squeal on the corners,
As she takes pedestrians down!

PCSO’s can’t catch her,
Constables have tried,
A traffic warden once said to halt,
Was taken for a ride!

She’s the scourge of Sainsbury’s
And of Tesco too,
Get in her way and she may,
Make mincemeat of you!

© Baldock Bard 2014
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