The other evening when most people were sensibly having supper and relaxing, Mrs Bard climbed into a cage! While I would not dream of putting her there, and suspending her high above the ground, the creeper on the house was growing out of control. For those readers who may consider me to be a heartless-so-and-so, she was wearing a full safety harness and I was extra vigilant at the controls…

I put my wife in a cage,
She went in of her own accord,
She ripped the creeper off the house,
No-one can say she’s bored!
Gravity helped remove the plant,
It lay strewn across the ground,
and “Will you now let me out!”
Echoed all around!

Ah! The joys of being a farmer’s wife!