I suffer from Podophobia, commonly known as a fear of wearing new shoes. Until recently I couldn’t think where this rather strange condition came from. I was clearing out a cupboard and came across a dusty pair of brown brogues with a strange history and even stranger soles…

My Great-Uncle Stan used to live next door,
Had a car so clean you could have eaten off the floor.
When he died, my mum said with aplomb,
“These are brand new shoes, you must just try them on!”
In those days (I wasn’t very old),
I always did as I was told!
I laced them up and although they felt tight,
Something about them definitely wasn’t right.
I thought ‘I will persevere, I really am no wimp,’
I seemed to have got myself a rather bad limp!
“Those are so wonderful,” chirped my mother,
Shame one of Uncle’s legs was shorter than the other!

© Baldock Bard 2012
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