Yesterday the JCB Loadall broke down. A red light appeared and after much searching of both brain and machine, I narrowed it down to a broken fan belt. Replacing it took longer than I had bargained for…

Red light appears on the dashboard,
a light I’ve not seen before,
look around for the operators manual,
It’s behind the seat on the floor!

Open the bonnet (a foreign country),
an engine much bigger than a car,
a fan belt hangs limp off its pulleys,
ring the dealer, will fetch it, not far.

Alec in the stores knows the part,
“we’ve one of those on the shelf”
my wonderful wife goes to fetch it,
“why can’t you go and fetch it yourself?”

I start to dismantle the safety guards,
I drop a spanner into the sump,
The exhaust is hotter than you realise,
burning skin aren’t I the chump!

The new belt squeezes behind the fan,
lever it on to both the pulleys,
stabbed my hand with an extra long screwdriver,
screwdriver snaps (came from Woolies!)

Reassemble the engine compartment,
putting back the final guard,
Step right back to admire my handy work,
the second belt’s still in the yard!

With many thanks to Alec and all the crew at Oliver Landpower, Wandon End, Luton. How they must groan when I ring!

© Baldock Bard 2016
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