In all the years I have written verse for the Baldock Car Boot Sales, I have built up a ‘reject file’ of verse that was deemed not suitable for inclusion in the local paper adverts.
It lay forgotten and gathering dust in the far recesses of my hard drive until a search revealed it, standing at the back frantically waving its hands in the air to attract my attention.
So here are a couple of rejects, more to follow…

4/5/09
The Government announced a Bill of Rights for Animals…

My cat’s now got more rights than me
It’s giving me the finger from up a tree
It shouted down that ‘it wasn’t afraid’
As it had recently been granted legal aid!
When the firemen came it was extremely rude
“We’re not doing this we could be sued!”
The cat remains up the tree
And so I climb a ladder to take its tea

© Baldock Bard

11/5/02
Having been on a farm Health and Safety course I found I could think of little else…

Let me have a little word
A cautionary tale
A man bought a chainsaw
At a car boot sale
Ignored the instructions
“Don’t have time”
Ended up the subject
Of this morbid little rhyme
He had a nasty accident
Cutting wood non-stop
He won’t be sawing wood again
His friends now call him ‘Hop’

© Baldock Bard

The Baldock Saturday Car Boot Sale returns on the 14th April 2012
www.u-boot.co.uk