Just when I thought that my saga of major breakdowns was over, I was stranded in a field a fair way from the farm with a tractor that refused to move. I only had a handkerchief-sized piece of the field left to plough. Enter stage left the ‘Mechanical Twins’ for another encore…

I’m thinking I shouldn’t be allowed near a tractor,
In the scheme of things I’m the weakest factor!
Every time I put on the plough,
I do some damage I don’t know how.
My latest damage was late at night,
Should have stopped after tea it wasn’t right,
I came to turn at the headland mark,
The tractor stopped as if resting in ‘park’.
Another visit from the mechanical twins,
(Who, we all know work magic on mechanical things!)
After an agonisingly slow journey back to the farm,
They inspected the tractor with some alarm,
Jonnie said, “I am truly very sorry”
“This tractor’s off to Luton we’ll send you a lorry!”
The other Jonnie smiled, with not much to say
‘Cos he’s off on holiday this Wednesday!

I have given myself a second written warning, one more and I could face the sack. Remember to appreciate your local mechanic, as they are the doctors and surgeons of the mechanical world. Yet again my thanks to Oliver Landpower of Luton and everyone who is trying to get me back in the furrow as soon as possible.

© Baldock Bard 2016
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