Yesterday I went to the woodshed and chopped some kindling with my small bill (or axe). It is a mindless occupation with an added thrill of sharp blade near fingers! So far, hands are leading by 2-0 (10-nil on aggregate). I had an uncle once who lost all his fingers on one hand to the postman wielding an axe. The following year this was repeated once again but on the other hand this time! ‘Chopper-Emptor’ as they used to say in Ancient Rome…

There’s something about chopping kindling
That gives me a really great thrill
It’s not the splitting of timber
Whist wielding a bloody great bill!

It’s more the noise of the crack
Sounds like a persistent knock
I think of those who’ve annoyed me
While I imagine their heads on the block!

© Baldock Bard 2014
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