Has anyone suggested an alternative treatment to a condition you have? Perhaps someone has passed on a treatment that their grandmother swore by, like rubbing a wart-affected finger on a pig’s back on the first Tuesday of the month? I am using such a treatment with mixed results…

I woke up in the middle of the night,
A pain in my back wasn’t right.
I tried to turn without a squawk,
I was lying on a champagne cork!
Now you might think sympathy I beg,
But I’ve been getting cramp in my leg.
“Clutch a champagne cork in your sleep
Your nights rest will be complete!”
If you want your cramp to go away
Open some champagne this Bank Holiday!

Does it work?
No idea, although I awake still clutching the cork like a lifebelt from the Titanic!

© Baldock Bard 2014
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