I was walking down the high street of a local town yesterday when I was sworn at by a Scooterist. My crime, although not obvious to me at the time, was walking on a pavement. Apparently I should have known that the fat-chariot was behind me and dived out of the way. The mobility scooters have the ability to give the elderly their freedom, however they are given a bad name by the angry brigade who are often obese and should be walking…

I was walking down the high street yesterday,
When a woman on a scooter yelled: “Get out my ‘effin way!”
I was so surprised while carrying my heavy load,
That I stepped out of her way right into the busy road.

She laughed so much that she begin to shake,
She could have run a chip shop as the fat did wobble make!
She continued on her way shouting, I think she said ‘Fork!’,
It would have made her healthier if she’d been made to walk.

As I raised up my camera the woman filled the shot,
She turned around to swear, “You’d better ‘effin not!”
By then the shot was ruined, the focus wouldn’t be,
I gave up, turned around, and went off home for tea!

The rules of civilization don’t seem to apply to them,
As they terrorise the pavement, fat women and fat men,
But why be so angry, why do they have to scream and shout
The burger bars are opening, they think they might run out!

*Picture above – Serving suggestion only!

© Baldock Bard 2014
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