Author Archives: The Baldock Bard.

About The Baldock Bard.

In 1997 a scruffy untalented poet started to write verse for the Baldock Car Boot Sale adverts in the local papers on a four week trial. Before long his attempts at verse was being discussed in bars across the South East of the UK. A regular buyer at the car boot sales was in his local pub in Barnet when he heard two men at the bar discussing a car boot poem they had read in the local paper by someone they called 'The Baldock Bard' (after the town where the car boot sale was held). From this moment on, the un-named verse-writer was known far and wide as 'The Baldock Bard'. He lives in a cave carved into a hill just outside Baldock in Hertfordshire, living off the land. He is addicted to Cheeselets, Twiglets and Cola and has a long-suffering wife, a granddaughter, a daughter, a son-in-law, two dogs, geese and chickens

Saying It With Flowers!

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How observant are you of your surroundings? Do you sometimes, like me walk around with a head full of nonsense, and totally fail to spot something right in front of your eyes? Yesterday I was walking through a town when suddenly I stopped, look back, and blurted out – ‘Wow!’ to nobody in particular…

On a drab library building,
suddenly flowers abound,
so much so,
that I spun around!
Such bright colours,
against drab-coloured brick,
quite remarkable,
but it did the trick!
St Neots Town Council,
brightened my day,
they ‘said it with flowers!’
What more can I say!

Have a great day. Maybe something will make you day brighter out of the blue!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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The Dens in the Wood!

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Every school group is different, every school visit is different, no two visits have ever been the same even when the visitors are from the same year group and the same school, like yesterday. The visit was going to plan, we were walking through the wood when suddenly a visitor suggested an activity I’d never considered…

“Please can we build a den?”
without a thought I said ‘Yes!’
And as a new part of the visit,
It was an immediate success.
It brought out leadership,
and co-operation,
both much-needed skills,
for a future nation!
Some were on transport,
fetching the wood,
Some were organising,
like an architect would,
But all were helping each other,
under the Hertfordshire sun,
but best of all,
they were having such fun!

With my grateful thanks to all 89 of you who have come to the farm this week with your teachers, I’ve learnt so much from all of you. Come again!
Enormous thanks also to Sara and the Countryside Trust for making it all possible http://www.countrytrust.org.uk
Have a great weekend. Stay happy, healthy and safe.
© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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School Visit 2 (of 3)

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Yesterday was Wednesday and that meant Brunswick Park (1) in our week of school visits to the farm. We did mostly what we’d done with the previous day’s group, although it was markedly different as no two groups are ever the same. We even had a trek through long grass, despite allergy’s and Hay Fever…

Trekking through long grass,
on the way back to the farm,
“I’ve nettle stings on my legs,”
“A horsefly bit my arm!”
“I am so tired,
I’m sure something went crunch!”
Please tell me Mr Farmer,
when is it time for lunch?”

“Just a couple more miles,”
I strove to reassure,
thirty pleading bodies,
“No please, we want no more!”
I’m sure that when they’re home,
they’ll sleep like logs tonight,
they won’t be the only ones,
I’ll be out like a light!

Many thanks to Year 3 from Brunswick School, London, for coming to visit us, we’ll see your other classmates later today for more of the same!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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It’s Great To Share!

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Most parents teach their children the benefits of sharing at an early age. For the last thirty-odd years we’ve shared the farm with school children and it has been one of the most enjoyable things I’ve ever done. Not only have they enjoyed experiencing a day in the countryside, but they also keep me on my toes…

When we walked through the wood,
I asked “Who saw the bear!”
one child answered: “I did,
it’s just over there!”

Like a fool,
I turned to stare,
“What are you looking for?
there’s nothing there!”

With grateful thanks to St Pauls School, London, for giving me such a great day out.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


 

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Hitching a Ride!

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There are times when you are in the right place at the right time with a camera in your hand. Yesterday was one of those days when a swan went floating by with a cygnet riding on its back…

Aaaaaah!
No more words necessary!

Wishing you a lucky day. Stay happy, safe and healthy.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Flying with Pigeons!

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While visiting the Cereals 2018 show the other day I met a local farmer who was having trouble with pigeons on her peas. I related the story of how a farmer’s daughter brought back a personal alarm from her first year away at university and how her father attached it to his drone to scare off the pigeons who were destroying his oil seed rape crop. That evening I went flying with pigeons…

I attached the alarm to my faithful drone,
took off over the field near to home,
I pressed record on the remote control,
and sent the drone for a leisurely stroll.
All of a sudden a flutter of alarm,
a host of pigeons loose on the farm,
I swooped right down much to their surprise,
a strange machine fell from the skies!
It was the closest thing to a video game,
(swooping down on bombers in a Spitfire plane),
I whooped with success (I may have squealed!)
as I chased the pigeons off a large pea field!

With thanks to Jo for fun with pigeons! 
Have a great weekend and if you are troubled by pesky pigeons, don’t call Ghostbusters!
Picture below: DJI Mavic with added noise!  

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Cereals 2018 (b)

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Yesterday I went to Cereals 2018. Various people asked why, when I no longer had any arable acres, did I bother going. At first I couldn’t come up with a good answer. However having mulled it over while I was walking around amongst the giant tractors, combines and cultivation machines I suddenly realised the answer…

You can take the farmer out of the farm,
a move contemplated with some alarm,
when he’s been used to a harvest all his life,
(so have his friends, family and wife).
It is more to him than just a career,
with it’s worry, uncertainty and cash flow fear,
when you remove his arable armour,
you can’t take the farm out of the farmer.

Have a great day and enjoy what you do while you can and stay away from big toys you can’t afford or justify!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


 

 

 

 

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Cereals 2018!

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Today I’m off to a ‘Farming Show’ called Cereals. This isn’t what non-farmers would think of as a typical agricultural show. It’s a specialist, single-sector, exhibition cum informative talking-shop with demonstrations of machines big and small (without sheep, cattle, pigs or alpacas!). It is also interesting to me as a drone-flying-farmer to view the latest innovations…

The car parks open at six,
the gates open at eight,
I’m still writing my daily blog,
looks like I might be late!
My drone is having a day off,
(no chance of breakage today!),
I will be near Duxford,
watching someone else at (work) play!
The talk will be all serious,
of crops and rain and sun,
but what nobody will tell you,
despite problems farming’s such fun!

Have a good day everyone, stay safe and happy.
(Photo taken at Cereals 12th June 2014!)  

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


 

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Simon Woz Ere!

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Have you ever wondered what you’ll leave behind after your day is done? Perhaps your lasting presence will be preserved in digital bytes on Twitface or similar? A piece of graffiti on a rail bridge gave me cause to ponder this question the other day…

‘Simon woz Ere”
written in paint,
apart from the spelling,
I found it quite quaint!
How did he do it,
was it done for a dare,
must have sat on the pipe,
with nary a care!
So let’s here it for ‘Simon’,
he can be sure,
that until workmen paint it,
his immortality’s secure!

I have to admit that despite sharing a name, I didn’t do it and haven’t the nerve nor the love of heights to leave such a marker!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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The Donkey’s Half Trim!

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It’s a well-know fact that many farmers make bad gardeners unless they can use a tractor! In my garden I wage a love/hate war with the topiary. Topiary can be compared to a vegetable plot – fine where you just look at it in someone else’s garden, but it’s hard work and unlike vegetables you can’t just pop out to buy what you need in town! According to my late mother I am the eighth generation to cut the hedges, they should have had my battery-powered trimmer (with added beer!)…

I was trimming the garden topiary,
Dreaming of a beer!
When I reached the man on a donkey,
My arms were tired I fear.
The trimmer whirred and snipped away,
Cut around the donkeys head,
and just before I removed an ear,
The battery went suddenly dead!
So I put it back on charge,
Much-relieved I did appear,
There was much relief from dead relations,
So I revived myself with a beer!

If you are doing something skilled and need a hand today, don’t ask me to help!! Have a great weekend and I’ll see you on the other side!
Just in case you were wondering… the picture shows the man on a donkey half trimmed!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

 

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