Category Archives: Animal Verse

Honey Bees and the Naughty Pig!

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HoneySome friends came to lunch yesterday and bought a wonderful pot of honey from their hives. I’m afraid, like most things, I’m useless with bees, they seem to treat me like a pin-cushion and it hurts! Many years ago we were loading pigs when one escaped the lorry…

We were loading pigs up for export,
(for breeding abroad they were bred),
when one escaped from the ramp,
disappeared round the back of the shed.

It’s gruntings became ever quieter,
It was chased by the driver and Tom,
All over a sudden there was a shout,
“Look Out! The bee hives have gone!”

Back running came the driver,
old Tom was running with ease,
the pig overtaking them both,
All three being chased by the bees!

© Baldock Bard 2016
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The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Goodbye Bunce The Cat

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BuncePet owners worldwide know the grief that comes with losing a pet. My daughter’s family have just lost Bunce, a cat they rescued in the snow several years ago (hence the name, Bunce, the make of snow plough, on which he was rescued). He was a most unusual cat, who had used up more than his fair-share of lives…

In the deep mid-winter,
quite some years ago,
My daughter and my son-in-law,
rescued a white cat in the snow.
They took him home on the snow-plough,
Injured, cold, afraid,
and very soon the cat called Bunce,
a new home he had made!
In many ways like a dog,
he followed you around,
I’d see him doing ‘his workings’,
keeping all farm rodents down!
So here’s ‘Goodbye’ to Bunce the Cat,
thank you for your love,
if from clouds we hear loud purrings,
we’ll know you’re up above!
Bunce2

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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The Swan That Saw The Drone Crash!

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SwanOn Sunday after the St Neots Regatta, we had visitors to our boat. It had been rather a trying day as, having filmed some of the action for the Rowing Club with my drone, I misjudged the landing. I soon discovered, like man, it cannot walk on water and it had to be recovered with a boat hook.

A swan and her cygnet came floating by
“Got any food,” the mother’s cry!
When we said we lacked anything to eat,
She replied “You’re a farmer get some wheat!”
When I replied that ‘I’d none here,’
“That’s not good enough I fear,
Next time make sure you do deliver,
no wonder your drone swam in the river!
Come now Precious let us go,
this farmer’s not as bright as those who row!”

Top Tip if flying a drone near water: Take one sealable bag and plenty of rice, place rice and drone in bag and wait. Send for repair if needed!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above


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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk 


The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016

With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Pushchair Dog!

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Pushchair DogI have only seen a dog being pushed around in a pushchair twice. Both times have been at the car boot sale I organise every Saturday, the first time many years ago, the second a more recent occurrence! Whether this has something to do with the sales, the weather or something in the local water, I have no idea. Looking through some old boot sale photos I came across an example of this unique way of boot sale dog walking…

A woman customer that I know,
Had a dog that old did grow!
Off his feet, off his walks,
Barked so loudly when anyone talks.
She always found it quite a hoot,
To take dog in pram to the car boot.
Other dogs begged their owners,
to become dog-pushchair donors!
But most doggy-types refused,
saying simply, “We’re not amused!”

Have a great day and enjoy taking your dog for a walk!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk 

The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Window Moth!

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the MothWe are so  lucky that there are so many wonderful species on this rock that floats in space! Yesterday I realised how ignorant I am when a moth flew into the house from the garden and I had no idea what it was called. This morning when I put in ‘Moth Identifier’ to Google, it was at the top of the first page…

A moth flew into the kitchen,
yesterday morning,
Granddaughter raised a shout,
a rather noisy warning!
I grabbed my i-Phone quick,
as it flew towards the window,
searching on the screen,
as if playing Nintendo!
Finally it flew and landed,
on the kitchen table,
convenient for this rhyme,
as it’s called an Argent Sable!

To some it’s known as Rheumaptera hastata, but it’s too early in the morning to find something that rhymes with ‘hastata’ and I’ve only had a single coffee!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk 

The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Precious!

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There has been an exciting birth on the farm! One of the geese has managed to produce a gosling! This might not sound extraordinary, however they had been very industrious with their egg-laying and nest-sitting to no avail. Suddenly a small yellow fluffy thing, escorted by a very proud and noisy mum and dad, made its way into the yard…

Precious, a tiny ball of fluff,
comes from the stable to learn some ‘stuff’
first of all there are other geese,
honking and hissing at their new niece!
Mum and dad instruct and shout,
they’re so pleased that she’s come out.
A whole new world waits out there,
as for the referendum – she doesn’t care!

Have a great day. If you too are starting something new, it may look big and scary but soon it’ll be so familiar you’ll wonder what the fuss was about!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The I-Spy Dog!

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Whenever we drive anywhere with our two terriers, Chip (who is now 17years old), demands that we follow familiar routes. Any deviation from these set routes and he stands up at the window and shows his displeasure. Until recently I presumed it was because he doesn’t like change, I now think it’s because he’s left his I-Spy book and pencil at home…

Our dog likes to play I-Spy,
Has completed more books than you or I,
Every journey that we do,
He stands at the window admires the view!
He’s already completed ‘On A Journey’
final sighting haulage firm Bernie!
He’s now onto I-Spy ‘The Town’
having trouble to find a football ground.
If he’s barking with alarm,
we simply bring out ‘On The Farm!’

If you’re on a journey, stay safe and don’t forget the I-Spy book and pencil for your dog!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Balduck from Baldock!

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IMG_6532Three years ago ‘Balduck from Baldock’ came to live on the farm following a bad few days in the life of a duck.
One Wednesday, he was flying along, thinking what a lovely day he was having, when a misjudgement of height led to him being hit by a car on a dual carriageway. The driver knew by the sudden cloud of feathers that she’d hit a bird and sadly assumed the worst. For the rest of the week she travelled up and down the motorway to and from work.
At the weekend she went to retrieve her car from the garage and noticed bird poo underneath the front. Investigating closer she noticed a pair of duck eyes looking out at her from behind the grill! She called the vet, once again fearing the worst. The vet called in the services of a friendly mechanic, who removed the front of the car. A bemused mallard duck was carefully removed and put on bed rest for a week.
The following week Balduck from Baldock, as he’d been christened, was released into the wild on our farm, to run with our tame ducks, where he’s lived ever since.
The above photo was taken yesterday when he came into the farmyard for his lunch! He has outlasted all our other ducks who have made meals for a local fox.

Balduck from Baldock is a very lucky duck!

You never know what is to come after a bad day! May all your troubles be small and surmountable.
Have a great Bank Holiday Weekend.
Baldock Bard.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Bill and the Pill!

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BillHave you ever tried to medicate a cat with a pill? It would be easier to give a hungry tiger a morsel of meat by hand while jumping up and down on a Pogo Stick! It is one operation in life that has no recipe for success…

We had a cat,
his name was Bill.
always refused,
to take a pill.
We’d wrap it up,
in delicious meat,
he’d turn up his nose,
refuse to eat!
We’d go gently,
not scream and shout,
he’d look at us,
and spit it out!
The little devil,
sensing something fishy,
went and hid,
on the Mitsubishi!
In the end,
(between you and me),
we claimed success,
with Dairylea!

If you have to medicate a cat today, good luck and keep those bandages within arms reach (for you, not the cat!)

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Customer Satisfaction Guaranteed!

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Waitrose DucksIf you study any independent supermarket survey, you’ll discover that one store is consistently at the top for customer satisfaction. With the store owned by the staff, they seem to act as PR agents every day! Yesterday I watched as a ‘Store Floor Manager’ took care of some important guests…

At St Neots Waitrose store,
two ducks beg by the door.
Shoppers supply them with fresh bread,
making sure they’re both well fed!

They spend the day at this food fest,
no thought of sitting on a nest,
if they keep begging, then in a while,
they’ll be nesting in the fresh egg aisle!

The Store Floor Manager takes her turn,
this new job she has to learn,
the Mallards quack, put on a show,
Waitrose best for ducks you know!

Duck FeedingMy 1,250th blog is dedicated to Waitrose staff everywhere, particularly those in St Neots.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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