Category Archives: Animal Verse

High-Rise Nesting!

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CGooseIt is strange how some events happen year on year until they become the norm. For the last five years, more and more Canada Geese have chosen to breed on the grass fields surrounding our wood. Nothing unusual there! However one goose is different to all the rest…

Mother Goose nests in the old oak tree,
as safe and secure as she can be.
Mr Fox curses you see,
no goose eggs for him for tea!

High-rise accommodation can have its benefits!

© Baldock Bard 2016
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The Dogs Dinner!

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Empty BowlWe are a nation of pet lovers. All dog owners like to spoil their pets, this leads to an enormous market in treats and goodies of all kinds. The other day I bought my precious a culinary ‘treat in a tin’ that was out of the price range of her everyday supper…

I bought Precious a tin of ‘Campfire Stew’,
A very special treat,
Venison, beef and pheasant,
exclusive cuts of meat.

She seemed to quite enjoy it,
ate at her normal pace,
later that same evening,
she burped it into my face!

There’s gratitude for you!
Lilly’s Kitchen, Wild Campfire Stew is available at all good pet shops, TRY IT TODAY! (other foods are available)

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Bertie and the Waves!

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BertieThe other day I watched a couple taking their black Labrador for a walk on the beach. As they walked, the man threw a ball into the waves for an enthusiastic dog to fetch. The dog’s enthusiasm didn’t seem to wane as (rather alarmingly I thought), the man threw the ball further and further into the sea…

Peter, Jane and Labrador Bertie
arrived at the beach at around twelve-thirty!
Bertie leapt in and out of the sea,
“Will someone please throw the ball for me?”
Peter threw the ball into the waves,
Bertie satisfied with the reward he craves!
In and out of the sea for the length of the beach,
throw, fetch, throw fetch, until out of reach!
Back in the car park by one-thirty,
Peter, Jane and one wet smelly Bertie!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Returns Next Saturday
April 9th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Kite and the Drone!

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KiteThe other day I was circling the farm with my drone and paying more attention to the screen and the crops than to my surroundings. When I replayed the footage later I noticed that a friend had joined the drone and had been swooping around it! Having seen footage on the Internet of drones being attacked, I counted my blessings that this was not an eagle…

Swooping gracefully around the skies,
the kite came across a strange bird!
Whereas the kite graceful flight sustained,
a buzzing of rotors could be heard!
The kite took a circle (or two) round this ‘thing’,
as it buzzed around (but not soared),
and with a measured slow flap of its wings,
flew away (in a short time) – just bored!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Returns April 9th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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My dog and I like Rolling!

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Rolling 162My dog likes rolling. She will find something dead on the lawn or in the field and smother herself with its perfume. This results in a bath at the earliest possible opportunity. I like to roll and have a bath afterwards, but I do it for a different reason…

Up and down the field I go,
The rolls behind the tractor,
Compressing the seedbed for the crop,
A smelly coat not a factor.
The rolls are heard for some distance,
As up and down I drive,
The only reason I later lay in the bath,
Helps my aches and pains subside!
Rolling 16Concocted and written in the bath after rolling a field rather than rolling in a field!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
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Returns April 9th 2016
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Canine Hide and Seek!

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HideYesterday afternoon I played hide and seek with my three-year-old grand-daughter. At first it went well, she hid and I attempted to prolong the round by ignoring laughter, visible limbs or appeals for me to ‘do better!’ When it was my turn to hide, in what I considered to be an excellent spot, she chose to get help…

When I hid around the back of the chair,
Grand-daughter never spotted me there,
Despite my legs being in sight,
the corner of the room wasn’t bathed in light!
I watched her pass too and fro,
I was hidden like a pro!
Then she used a cunning plan,
sent the dogs to see where I am.
In an instant they spotted me,
she then claimed a victory!

Grandfather’s tip #328: When playing hide and seek, make sure the dogs are unavailable to help!

© Baldock Bard 2016
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Back every Saturday after Easter 2016
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!

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Engagement Parties and Terriers!

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Mali backLast night Mrs Bard and I went out to an engagement party in the next village. It was great fun and despite not expecting to be out long, time flew and before we knew it, it was way past my bedtime! This morning my dog is still annoyed that we were so late…

My dog has turned her back on me,
she’s not happy as you can see!
We stayed out until late last night,
she declared “it’s not right!”
Turned her back and with a titter,
“could have hired a baby-sitter!”
Now this morning things are better,
she’s by the Aga lying on my sweater!

Best wishes to Cherry and Matt for a wonderful future together. Make the most of your time as two, as one day you may find yourselves with a demanding dog!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Back every Saturday after Easter 2016
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!

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An Old Dogs Tail

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ChipWe share the house with an old dog who is increasingly confused. If he gets up before breakfast I offer him milk, this has to be done in such a way as not to scare him as we all know how scary milk poured into a bowl can be! However he lives a charmed life; going from bed (with duvet), to Aga (with cushion), to fireplace (with sofa), sometimes he even ventures outside. He also enjoys new experiences every day…

Our poor old dog is so confused,
He doesn’t know what to do,
He walks into the sitting room,
And says, “Just who are you?”

When he comes in from outside,
He says “it’s warm in here!”
I’d rather like some supper,
might like a glass of beer!”

Late at night he wonders,
‘Where’s the daylight gone?
Is it time for breakfast?
Did I miss the gong?’

We know he’s blind in one eye,
It’s widely understood,
That like the Co-op advert,
He’s still: ‘Gud with Fud!’

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Back every Saturday after Easter 2016
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Milk, our daily miracle!

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MilkThese days we take so much for granted. In the main we care little where or how something was made or grown. Many years ago I worked on a dairy farm, I am embarrassed to say that I give very little appreciation to milk (normally only when the bottle is empty!). So this is for the dairy farmers from a simple ‘Arable Boy!’…

Milk is our daily miracle,
most of us agree,
we have it on our cornflakes,
We have it in our tea!

When I was a student,
one cow hated me,
she always was bad tempered,
her name was Marlene Three!
She’d always make a strike,
with her sh*ty tail,
then cover me with warm stuff,
her aim would never fail!

Here on our doorstep,
no milkman does arrive,
I get it from a shop,
not the parlour at half past five!

Many thanks to all those who are up way before the dawn to make sure my coffee and cereal is just the way I like it. And ‘Yes!’ I still miss Marlene Three!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk




The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Back every Saturday after Easter 2016
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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It’s Monday!

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Hungry DucksThis morning is one of those typical mouldy winter days. Mild temperatures, raining hard and soft squidgy grass and fields. However cold weather is forecast so maybe winter is on its way…

It’s Monday,
it’s dull,
it’s raining,
in Hull?

But into every life,
a little rain must fall,
the ducks are at the trough,
look like a rugby maul.

In the next few days,
colder temperatures here,
for their breakfast,
the ducks will appear!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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