Category Archives: Animal Verse

Christmas Guests!

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Christmas is just two days away and unexpected guests turn up! A flock of Canada Geese have thoroughly upset our home crew and I foresee trouble around the table! Harmony and festive spirit are in short supply and before the festivities are over there may be hissing, spitting and raised honking’s…

Christmas is coming,
the geese are getting fat,
they aren’t for the table,
too cantankerous for that!

They don’t like sharing wheat,
grass is all their own,
then some distant cousins,
come to invade their home!

We think we are unique,
bad-mood-aunty at the table,
but at least we have crackers,
(a hat for Aunty Mabel!)

If you’re fed up with TV
it makes you wonder ‘why’?
look out in the field,
and watch the feathers fly!

It should be noted at this point that our guests are always well behaved!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

 

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The Look of Guilt!

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Having been away for a few days, we returned home to discover a dog in disgrace. I knew the look, I’ve seen it many times before usually when the accused is caught helping herself to food from the table or larder…

Dog sits in shame in the corner,
she knows full well what she’s done,
guilt written over her face,
she’s stolen a cake or a bun!
But no! This time it is different,
apparently she thinks she’s a cat,
she’s eaten a bowl-full of cat treats,
the evidence, her stomach, is fat!

But she was very pleased to see us and has pronounced herself ‘not guilty’ as the cats told her she could help herself and it was our fault for leaving her behind in the first place!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above


Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Back every Saturday after Easter 2016
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Shoot to Kill Policy

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Shoot to KillThere is much talk in the wake of the Paris attacks about ‘what, if and how’ a similar outrage would be treated on London streets. Debate is good, however it is not the time to have reasonable discussion. Here on the farm we are not allowed to have rats. Following a poison control failure I have had to introduce a ‘shoot to kill’ policy…

I taped a torch to my gun,
and went to where the rats do run,
no rodent rights in my head,
my only aim to shoot them dead.
One appeared gave me the finger,
not much longer did it linger,
I raised the gun loosed off a round,
a rodent terrorist fell to the ground.
No debate neither fun,
just an action that had to be done.

We should fully support our police and armed forces who risk their lives allowing us to sleep safely in our comfortable beds.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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The Three Visiting Hens!

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3 HensWe have three hens staying at the farm. I realise that most people have just human visitors, but regular readers will know that there is not much normal on this farm! These guests are easy to please, have no complaints and don’t engage in lengthy conversations at breakfast time…

Three visiting hens are contented,
grateful for breakfast wheat,
no complicated agendas,
to make their lives complete.

They have no need for credit card,
no pocket for loose change,
they’ve never seen a bank manager,
would think a mortgage strange!

They’ve never heard of television,
news comes not from a box,
religion is unfamiliar,
only terrorist is a fox!

They know not of politicians,
not lies, not war, not hate,
their only overriding fear:
avoidance of human plate!

Best wishes from the three guests! Here’s hoping that your day is as uncomplicated as theirs (wouldn’t that make a change!).

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk




The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Back every Saturday after Easter 2016
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Nature’s Climbers!

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While splitting logs with the log-splitter the other day I noticed that I was no longer alone. I stopped work and gazed in amazement at a team of climbers who had no ropes, no hard hats and not an ounce of high-vis between them…

Health and safety doesn’t exist,
when wood-lice scale their wooden cliffs,
up they run right to the top,
not even for a breather stop!
Then there’s a crack, lo and behold:
they never miss a single foothold,
as before them a challenge new,
another climb before the day is through!
When faced with a new challenge, remember the woodlouse and power through! Have a great weekend. BB.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk




The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Back every Saturday after Easter 2016
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Not Taking Terns!

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TernsUnlike in humans, where greed is deplorable, in nature it’s often a means of survival. Recently on the river, my 3-year-old granddaughter threw some stale bread for the ducks. The resultant melee would have done justice to a saloon in the Wild West…

Like diners at an ‘all you can eat buffet’,
the terns fought over our bread,
no ‘excuse me’ or ‘pardon my manners’
but fighting and squawking instead!

“Why are they fighting?” she asked me,
“They’re greedy for food,” I replied,
they reminded me of hotel guests,
queuing for their hot breakfast fried!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above


Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk




The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Back every Saturday after Easter 2016
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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A Quiet Saturday Morning!

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Bootsale QThis morning I awoke with a start at 5am. I sat up in bed panicking that I would be late to let the sellers and buyers into the car boot sale field. I then realised that our last sale of the season was last week. I went back to sleep…

The rabbits at the bootsale field,
know that something’s wrong.
Skylarks fluttering overhead,
interrupt their wonderful song.
“Where are they? They all ask,
they should all be here,
there’s not a human to be seen,
Something’s wrong we fear!”

A wise old owl,
with a friendly hoot,
said “End of the season,
no car boot!”

Happy Christmas to all our wonderful customers at the Baldock Car Boot Sales. We’re back after Easter 2016. Also grateful thanks to Grant and Linda for all their hard work catering for the masses – enjoy your Saturday morning lie-ins!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk




The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Back every Saturday after Easter 2016
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Fast Food for Birds!

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SunflowersPart of my conservation agenda on the farm is to encourage wildlife, especially birds. We have ground nesting plots and pollen and nectar plots all designed to enhance the farm’s environment. This year my greatest success is my bird feeding plot. I decided to add sunflower seeds to the over-winter feeding plot, and what a difference it’s made to a normally dull and drab corner of the farm…

A corner of the farm,
is a glorious blaze of colour,
where in past years,
It has been much duller!
Sunflowers stand up proudly,
almost defying words,
I have taken to calling it,
my burger-bar for birds!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above


Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk




The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until 17th of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Playful Kitten!

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Tivi KittenI recently stayed with friends who have a new cat. Can’t remember its name but it was very sweet and sat on my lap purring away. Like all kittens it was prone to sudden playful movement. It also had sharp claws…

A little cat
sat on my knee,
purred a song,
just for me.

“Please don’t think me,
at all rude,
Could I ask you,
for a little food?”

He was startled,
Claws sunk in,
From now on,
Soprano I’ll sing!

N.B. This is fiction.
There is no greater crime than criticising friend’s children or pets.
Be warned: it could lead to ostracisation and meals for one.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Dolly Worries About Her Mummy!

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Charlie ParisDolly the horse lives at the farm. Her ‘mummy’, Charlotte, swam the Channel a year ago. Dolly wondered what she’d do next. Last weekend it was Paris, however as expected, not the easy way…

Dolly was in a trance
When Charlie swam to France
“They do have ferries
As hedgerows have berries
She’s led me a merry dance!”

“This year to Paris she went
With a bicycle but not a tent!
Could have gone by car
or Eurostar!
But cycled with charitable intent”

“What is she next to do?
Hang-glide in darkest Peru?
I would be frantic
If she rowed the Atlantic
What’s a poor horse to do?”

If you are feeling generous please support the riders who are raising money for the Willow Foundation. It’s really easy! Text XBES62 £5 to 7070 or click this link to donate http://www.justgiving.com/Passport-Peleton?utm_id=26
Please donate – Dolly says Thank You!

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