Category Archives: Animal Verse

The Big Hungry Fish!

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Fish 2Staying with friends in Portland on the South Coast of Dorset, I noticed a pair of rather attractive dishes on the bedside tables in my room. They were handmade in Greece, possibly by former Euro-currency traders, now potters, all called Zorba. Not knowing why, I took a couple of snaps and ‘Hey-Presto’ here they are…

A little fish was swimming,
in the water against the tide,
A large fish called out to him:
“Come here for a ride!”

The little fish responded:
“I think I’ll swim beneath,
Because I’m rather wary
of your great big teeth!”

“My teeth are made for smiling,
My teeth are made to grin,
I’m really not that hungry,
You’re welcome to come in!”

Just as he was speaking,
His big mouth open wide,
A hook from the surface,
Lodged itself inside!

It just goes to show,
(If you are a fish)
What you end up getting,
Is not always what you wish!
Fish 1

You too can stay in this charming Dorset house!: http://www.homeaway.co.uk/p1171249?cid=SM_Facebook_slideshow_T_LPROP&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=propertyslideshow

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
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Our Home-Bred Visitors!

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Last SwallowsOver the last few days a group of visitors has visibly decreased in numbers. I always enjoy seeing Swallows arrive at the end of April and am sad to see them go at this time of year. This year so many have hatched that I’m surprised that there were no mid-air collisions during their feeding flights. It is remarkable when you consider that this has been going on for hundreds and hundreds of years and while war and turmoil affected nations, the Swallows migration was a constant that us country-folk could cling to…

The swallows are almost gone,
Only very few remain,
They’ve popped down to South Africa,
They’ll be back next year again.
They’ll travel down through France,
And then through Eastern Spain,
They’ll cross the Sahara Desert,
By this time they’ll be feeling the strain.
On and on they’ll fly,
Cover some 200 miles a day,
And if they’re very lucky,
They’ll survive to be back next May.
It’s a shame that they don’t know,
How they’ll be missed back here,
And how joyfully they’ll be welcomed,
When they return next year.

Last Swallows 2© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
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Unwelcome Visitors!

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Hornets 2We have been plagued with very large wasps for the last few weeks. The unwanted lodgers had moved in to the farmhouse via the high outside attic door. Despite several reminders to ‘sort the situation’, it remained unsorted until an ultimatum was posted. Swift action followed…

For quite some time (two months or more),
Large wasps have buzzed through the attic door.
Now being rather a coward of late,
I’ve been loath to investigate.
But recently we’ve had these pests,
Join us at mealtimes as unwanted guests.
Slowly they’d buzz around the room,
Chased by newspaper, magazine or broom!
“If you don’t do something about them today,
Then in the house alone you’ll stay!”
When this wifely threat in my ear rings,
I got on to Bugs ‘N’ Things!
Out they came, the nest attacked,
Very soon hornets bags were packed!
If you have unwanted guests give them a ring,
It’s much less painful than a Hornet sting!

Bugs ‘N’ Things operate in Bedfordshire, Hertfordshire, Essex, Northamptonshire, Buckinghamshire, Oxfordshire, Leicestershire and across London. http://www.bugsnthings.co.uk

 

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Four-Legged Thief!

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Guilty TerrierI’m afraid I have to admit that my terrier is a thief. Unfortunately if she were dragged in front of the judiciary the newspapers would report that: ‘the defendant showed no remorse’. Maybe it is in her upbringing and I am at fault, or maybe because she comes from the Fens…

Where oh where can my sandwiches be?
I made them fresh with chicken you see.
I then added a layer of salad cream,
They have vanished, must have been a dream

Where oh where can my biscuits be?
I was to have mid-morning with my flask of tea,
A couple were chocolate and three were plain,
I don’t suppose I’ll see them again!

Where oh where has that terrier gone?
I’ve been in the garden and shouted “Come on!”
Then I spy an abandoned packet of crisps
and there she sits licking her lips!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Plough Followers!

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Seagull plough 1I spent yesterday ploughing a field at the far end of the farm. It wasn’t long before I had company – a flock of seagulls. Many years ago I worked with a ploughman who hated them and would have ploughed them all in if he could. I like to see them, their variety alleviates the boredom of up and down, up and down, hour after hour at 4mph…

Watching seagulls follow the plough,
I sat back to wonder how,
They found the field with no communication,
Or indeed satellite navigation!
They squawk so I can’t say they tweet,
Which as a line would be quite neat!
They don’t have fingers to give you ‘the bird’,
And have no text to spread the word.
All I can say (and I could be wrong),
It took just minutes before they came along.
They don’t stare or perch in trees,
but steal seaside chips from OAP’s!
Some maintain they’re airborne rats,
Who frighten children, dogs and cats!
But all of this is forgotten now,
As I watch seagulls chase the plough!
Seagull plough 2© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Majestic Antlers!

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Antler1While harvesting yesterday I noticed two pairs of antlers poking out from the crop. It was a wonderful sight. Luckily I had my trusty camera by my side and was able to capture the moment…

Antlers are such a giveaway,
When you’re hiding away!
They poke out above the crop,
“I’m over here please don’t stop!”
At the last moment they break cover
Safety in numbers means each other
Off they run towards the wood
Shot by a camera as majestic should!
Antler2© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Mrs Brown’s Favourite Supper!

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Mrs BrownFollowing a visit from a marauding fox, our four remaining hens are a motley crew! However they are all characters in their own right despite having uninspiring names (Mrs Brown, Mrs White, Mrs Bit-Grey and Mrs Halfway-Up-The-Drive!). Yesterday evening Mrs Brown was ecstatic to see some granddaughter-leftovers, her favourite food…

Mrs Brown is a very happy hen,
She’s got pasta for supper again!
She just loves left-over-night,
It sets her up to sleep just right!
She’s not very fond of potatoes,
Sprouts just aren’t her thing,
But pasta and carrots float her boat,
And make her hen-heart sing!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Dating Woes of a Common Maidenfly!

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Maidenfly datingI took a photo the other day of what I thought was a mini-dragonfly. Typically I was wrong, it was a Maiden Fly! I knew nothing about them until a search engine told me they were useless at dating…

Once a Maiden Fly,
On a leaf did alight,
She sat there for a while,
She wasn’t very bright!
She thought to herself,
I’ve gotta find a mate,
I could go find a bar,
Before it gets too late!
I could go abroad,
With a group from work,
Magaluf or Ibiza,
Would be a fancy perk!
She spent so much time,
Deciding where to go,
She ended up a maiden,
And was snapped up by a crow!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Perfect Farm for Me!

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Farm in a tinThe other day I found a very pleasant small farm, and it was on special offer! I was so impressed that I couldn’t resist taking a look around. After a very short while I thought, ‘it’s the perfect farm for me!’…

I’ve found the perfect farm,
It comes in a tin!
The sheep are never out,
They are always in,
The pigs are neither fat,
Nor are they too thin!
One, two three,
It’s the perfect farm for me!

The weather is just right,
The crops always grow,
No sprays or fertilizer,
To muck up the cash flow,
The bank manager’s happy,
to watch profits grow!
One, two three,
It’s the perfect farm for me!

It’s the most perfect farm,
That I’ve ever seen,
On my side of the fence,
The grass is always green,
The only problem,
It is just a dream!
One, two three,
It’s the perfect farm for me!

You too can own the perfect ‘Farm in a tin’, just pop along to an ASPACE store or visit them online. Alternatively you can invest a vast amount of money in a piece of land and watch the worry-lines grow!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Teenagers, the Same the World Over!

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Teenage GeeseThe Canadian goslings that were hatched in April (http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=5352) are now teenagers! Their parents, who have done everything for them, now despair at their behaviour and look forward to the day when they literally fly the nest…

“I can’t find my PE kit,
I left it by the pond,
Gaby stole my hairbrush,
is acting like a blonde!”

“Geoffrey ate my breakfast,
Now he’s standing on my toe,
He’s also chewing on a stick,
Mum please tell him ‘no’!”

“Have you seen my homework?
Was on the water’s edge,
I think Gordon copied it,
Has thrown it in the hedge!”

“Dad, Gemma is a goody goody,
Why does she do no wrong?
She runs to mummy every time,
I tell her she does pong!”

The mother looks to the father,
“I know it seems a bore,
Very soon they’ll fly the nest,
It’ll then be time for more!”

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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