A Very Naughty Dog!

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Some friends came to stay at the weekend bringing their two children and their dog: all very well behaved until it came time to leave. The children and husband got straight into the car when told to, but their dog decided to play up. The more frustrated the mother became, the more the dog stayed just out of reach…

It had been a  sunny and pleasant weekend,
Everyone had enjoyed their time no end,
But now when it came time to leave,
Purdey the Lurcher disagreed.

She dodged to the left,
She dodged to the right,
Ran round in circles,
Ran out of sight.

Mother and dog have been to be trained,
As the dog misbehaved tempers were strained,
“That dog is so clever”, grinned a spectator,
“It goes round in circles like a rotator!”

“Get into the car,” shouted the mother,
(Daughter leapt in along with her brother),
“We’re leaving now, to avoid the fog,
Looks like you now own a very bad dog!”

The husband remarked: “this is for real!”
Calmly got out from behind the wheel,
“Sit there Purdey” there was no plead,
And calmly attached the dogs leather lead!

The dog was caught, the panic removed,
To make enough space luggage was moved,
And so they left, the dog in disgrace,
Grinning through the back window, a ‘not sorry’ face!

© Baldock Bard
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!
www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

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Frank the Duck!

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Taking in abandoned birds can be emotionally difficult. Whereas Ducky-Wucky and Darren were straightforward, Frank turned out to be challenging…

I rescued a duck the other day,
Was a sweet as sweet can be,
I caught it some grubs and beetles,
That I managed to get from a tree!

I made it a nice little house,
Complete with a carpeted stair,
I wanted to make a miniature bed,
Only managed a small armchair!

I took it to the library,
It came with me to the bank,
I wondered what to call him,
He ended up as Frank!

I fed him lots of duck food,
He managed to get quite fat,
But today Frank’s gone away,
I think he’s with the cat.

© Baldock Bard

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

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Sky at the Boot Sale!

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I hadn’t noticed how many dogs come to the boot sale until it was pointed out to me on Saturday. It has become a like a ‘doggy coffee-shop’ where pooches and their owners meet and chat! This week I met boot sale regular Sky and his mummy…

Every week without fail,
Sky brings mum and dad to the car boot sale,
He dashes around from stall to stall,
Unless you throw a bouncing ball.
If for some reason he cannot attend,
He sends his parents around the bend,
He whines and squeaks at the door,
Until they can’t take any more.
During the week they walk him elsewhere
But come Saturday they wouldn’t dare!
He tells his friends in the park,
“You really must try this car boot lark!”

© Baldock Bard
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

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Dolly and the Rainy Days!

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Animals all have their own identities on this farm. None more than Dolly the Horse (I had to say that quietly because she has yet to discover that she is a horse. Ballerina, Rocket-Scientist or Princess naturally spring to mind). She keeps us all amused with her vastly outlandish behaviour and helps make this farm live up to the name many call it by – The Funny Farm…

Dolly the horse is upset,
It’s the dreadful weather you see.
Two days of rain,
Who’s to blame?
As she shelters under a tree.

She’s wearing a waterproof rug,
The keeps her long back dry.
Alas no hat,
She can’t have that,
Or the drips from the tree in her eye!

However this morning she’s better,
The sun is warming her back.
She needs sunglasses,
So she outclasses,
Her mucker-outer who’s dressed in a mack!

© Baldock Bard
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

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A Special Duck’s Nest

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Living on a small farm and being us, we tend to name our animals and birds! It started, quite naturally with our pets, dogs and cats, but spread (to the alarm of our friends) to chickens, geese, pigeons (either Peter or Penny!) and even wild ducks! This is the story of a wild duck, her husband and a surprising, gifted and precocious child called ‘Chirpy’.

Ducky Wucky’s Nest

Ducky Wucky’s decided
She needs a safe place for her nest
She’s built it on an ivy wall
Because only she knows best

Disgraceful Darren, her husband
Is nowhere to be seen
He’s off down the pond with his mates
On nest-building he’s not keen

Three years ago about this time
(In duck-years she was thirty)
She had a shock climbing off her nest
Out popped a chick called ‘Chirpy’

Now Chirpy is a special hen
A cut above the rest
She welcomes schoolchildren to her farm
Because she knows she’s the best

We’re keeping an eye on Ducky’s nest
Hoping that it survives
Just what she’ll hatch we won’t know
Until Stanley Stork arrives!

 © Baldock Bard
Just 1 day until the Baldock Saturday Car Boot Sale returnsfor its 20th anniversary season on the 14th April 2012

www.u-boot.co.uk
Bootphone: 07852 707 074

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The Cat and the Tortoise

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I wrote this many years ago for a friend who was bravely fighting a serious illness. Her kitchen was almost unique in that she and her family shared it with no less than four tortoises and (I think!) three cats. I had completely forgotten about the verse until I came across it by accident in a dusty file hidden at the very back of my hard drive along with some pictures of me as a baby (no I’m not sharing them!), a very early e-mail and a rather furry wine gum of indeterminate age. So this was written for Sandy, I hope you like it…

 The Cat and the Tortoise

The tortoise and cat were having a chat
As they lay on the kitchen floor
“What is it that you think as a cat?
And why is it you always snore?”
The cat replied, “It can’t be denied
Food is at the forefront of thought
But when I have eaten my resolve is just beaten
And a nap is needed – just short!”

The tortoise looked sad and said it was bad
“You know people always compare
Me in a race it’s such a disgrace
It’s always won by the hare!”
“You have your fur and at least you can purr
I only grunt, snort and sigh
I shuffle around close to the ground
With a shell that looks like a pie!”

The cat was surprised that the tortoise replied
In the way that he had just done
(He’d always admired how they were attired
And the way that they needn’t run!)
He stretched out his paw (not extending a claw)
And purred the way cats can do
“I suppose in the end you just need a friend
And I’ll be that friend to you”.

© Baldock Bard
Just 3 days until the Baldock Saturday Car Boot Sale returnsfor its 20th season on the 14th April 2012

www.u-boot.co.uk
Bootphone: 07852 707 074

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