Category Archives: Animal Verse

The Swan Family

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There is nothing quite like watching the serenity of swans, particularly when they have a family of cygnets. They fuss around them, teaching, feeding and caring. When life seems so unfathomable, the news is bleak and nothing quite makes sense, watching these graceful birds float peacefully down the river often helps to restore equilibrium…

Mother and Father Swan,
gently float on the water,
teaching their cygnets,
what, when, and how they oughta!
When the world is shocking,
and the news makes you shiver,
just stop and observe,
swans float down the river.

May you have a peaceful weekend surrounded by those you love.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Hazel Hen and the Wedding!

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Every morning I look through a few photographs, normally taken within the last few days, to kick start some words. Yesterday in the farmyard I happened to come across Hazel Hen, she was looking particularly glamorous, I thought she looked as if she was off to a wedding, what with the fancy hat and stunning dress. This morning I downloaded the picture and the words flowed…

Hazel Hen was off to a wedding,
she put on her very best hat,
the dress she bought from a charity shop,
You can’t get much better than that!
She cried when the bride kissed the bridegroom,
threw confetti on the church path,
tittered during the speeches,
“it’s great to have a good laugh!”
Then it was time for the dancing,
she whirled around the dance floor,
her hat and dress were a shambles,
by midnight couldn’t take any more!

This morning her world is all noisy,
she’s taken more than one pill,
but Friday she’s off to a nightclub,
She’s a game bird who’s up for a thrill!

If you’re off to a wedding anytime soon, enjoy and make sure you let yourself go on the dance floor!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Three Thieves!

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I have never been a quality fisherman (or writer!), I lack the one characteristic needed: patience! I was looking through some photos this morning, desperate to fill my 1,499th posting, when I came across a shot I’d taken on the river of three thieves! Now all I had to do was find suitable words, force them to rhyme and I’d be away…

Three crazy fishermen,
John, Ben and Mike,
always swallow what they catch,
especially a pike!
They don’t care where they fish,
river, lake or pond,
they arrive at a competition,
and fish just beyond!
They never use a rod,
fish without bait all day,
never feel the need to brag about,
‘the one that got away!’

Have a great day and if you’re going to act like a Cormorant, just don’t get caught!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Heron!

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Whenever I see a heron by the water’s edge on the river, I always think he is silently making fun of me! He stands there all aloof, passing judgment as we rush around keeping to our hectic daily schedules. I don’t suppose he’s even bothered about us; he’s probably just wondering what he’ll have for lunch…

The old heron stood on the river bank,
“I’ve seen some stuff,” he said,
“By being tall I’ve seen ‘em all,
it’s never gone to my head!”

“I’ve lived on fish all my life,
neither cow nor pig have I tasted,
no microwave for the time it saves,
no cooking time is wasted!”

“I watch you humans rush about,
no time to stop and stare,
I see you pose in your fancy clothes,
while I stand in my underwear!”

Dedicated to all Herons. May your fish be plentiful and your waters peaceful.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Gosling’s Mother!

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There are many times in life when I see an image that takes my breath away and I can admit to being jealous of the photographer. Friend Val is a great wildlife photographer and I asked if I could borrow this picture of our new goslings because I believe it is truly worth ‘a thousand words’. Worry not dear reader, I’m not about to deliver that many words…

Val took this picture,
of our geese having a chat:
“Girls, I told you he wasn’t the father!”
perfect for a photo like that!

Thank you Val for letting me share this with others, wonderful photo.
Have a great weekend. BB

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Farmers in Pyjamas!

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The other day I was looking at a zebra (as one does on a Thursday near Baldock!) and wondering what it would be like to saddle it up and ride it through the town! It was early afternoon and the only drink that had passed my lips that day was soft…

Wouldn’t it be such fun,
to ride a zebra through the town,
passers-by would wonder why,
and look me up and down!

“Look at that horse in pyjamas”
They’d say to one and all,
“riding through town in a dressing gown?
doesn’t he look a fool!”

“Perhaps he is dreaming,
riding the dusty plains,
inspecting crops in worn flip-flops
hoping that it rains!”

“It’s probably a nightmare,
After a night of drink,
farmers in pyjamas?
What must his mother think?”

With apologies to those who are looking for sense on this Wednesday morning! Have a great day, take care and avoid zebras!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK THIS SATURDAY!
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Tiddles and the Driving Lesson!

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It is remarkable the sights you see when you are driving. Up to now they have been mostly un-provable, however the dashcam, ‘Spy-in-the-Windscreen’, now captures everything. On Friday I was driving through a local town and captured ‘Tiddles’ having her first driving lesson…

Tiddles is learning to drive the car,
sits on her daddy’s lap,
the problem when she sees other dogs,
she stands at the window to yap!
She can’t quite reach the pedals,
her paws slip on the steering wheel,
but oh how pedestrians like to laugh,
(other dogs have been known to squeal!).
Daddy keeps an eye on the road,
in case the law should see,
his defence: “Tiddles wasn’t driving,
she’s only just leapt on my knee!”

Have a good day and stay safe out there.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK THIS SATURDAY
25th Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Bargain Time!

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The other day in my local car accessory shop I noticed a collectors item. These soon-to-be-reduced-bargains were still on prominent display. I stood back, considered a purchase and then looked elsewhere. I dare say I’ll soon see them on a stall at my car boot sale when it opens for its 25th season on the Saturday after Easter…

Anyone want a GB badge,
surrounded by twelve yellow stars?
It once looked modern and bright,
on the boots of cars.
Now it sits unwanted,
on a thousand shelves,
the only way on Santa’s sleigh,
along with twenty elves!
After Easter we might see them,
for sale on boot sale stalls,
and Easter Rabbits with chocolate habits,
who’ve broken EU rules!

Wishing you and yours a Very Happy Easter, whatever your religion or beliefs. I’ll see you on the other side of the holiday! BB

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

 

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The Downside of Pigsheds!

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Thirty-five years ago we had pigs on the farm. Unfortunately they became less and less profitable and so we became a stock-less, arable farm. The piggeries were turned into small industrial units, about double the size of a lock-up garage. Over the years we have had a variety of tenants from motorhome builders to motorbike breakers to picture framers to car repairers. Very seldom over this time have tenants surprised me, however there is always one who surpasses all others…

We had a crap tenant I’ll call him ‘Fred’,
did auto-repairs in our former pig shed.
One day he just up-sticked and left,
I have to say – leaving no-one bereft!
When we opened his former unit door,
it looked like landfill all over the floor.
I called in some help to clear out the place,
the smell and the filth was an utter disgrace.
Thanks to them all it’s ready to rent,
family labour is just Heaven sent!

The upside to this story is that a new tenant joins us this morning and the old tenant has moved to a unit in Birmingham. I have learned my lesson and am more choosy now. 

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Mrs Meerkat’s Monday!

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This morning I came across Mrs Meerkat. She looked exhausted. So tired that she lay down on the path in front of her house and refused to move, not even when offered a cup of tea! Never being one to complain I didn’t expect to hear of all her troubles…

“My seventeen children,
have just left for school,
I normally cope,
I’m really quite cool.
But today is Monday,
there’s Ballet and Tap,
at least no football or rugby,
it’s Tuesdays for that!
The old man’s on business, 
he’s gone for a week,
could have sworn I just saw him, 
in the High Street!
There’s a huge pile of clothes, 
I’ve got to iron,
I’m awaiting the plumber
a nice man called Brian!
But above all,
I’m not really fine,
I went to the cupboard,
I’ve run out of wine!”

Have a great week and don’t let your troubles (or your seventeen children) get you down!
Thanks to Mrs Meerkat for the photo (you can meet her and her family at Paradise Wildlife Park www.pwpark.com).

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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