Category Archives: Car Boot Sale Verse

Sky at the Boot Sale!

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I hadn’t noticed how many dogs come to the boot sale until it was pointed out to me on Saturday. It has become a like a ‘doggy coffee-shop’ where pooches and their owners meet and chat! This week I met boot sale regular Sky and his mummy…

Every week without fail,
Sky brings mum and dad to the car boot sale,
He dashes around from stall to stall,
Unless you throw a bouncing ball.
If for some reason he cannot attend,
He sends his parents around the bend,
He whines and squeaks at the door,
Until they can’t take any more.
During the week they walk him elsewhere
But come Saturday they wouldn’t dare!
He tells his friends in the park,
“You really must try this car boot lark!”

© Baldock Bard
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

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The Greener Grass…!

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At the car boot sale last Saturday I was talking to Andrew who is part of the daily commute to an office in London. He was bemoaning his ‘lot’ in life. I thought of him yesterday when the wind was blowing hail and rain around the yard and down my neck! Sometimes the grass may seem greener…

Andrew told me…
I spend all week in an office,
My brain is closing down
,
What I really need is fresh air
,
Not the stale sort up in town.

I take the ‘Sardine-Special’,
From Baldock every day,
My job is doing my head in,
There must be a better way!

I don’t see my kids in the mornings,
Don’t tuck them in at night,
My wife is a weekly stranger,
This lifestyle can’t be right!

Can’t wait for Saturday mornings,
Find a bargain and beside,
Munch a bacon roll whilst wandering,
In the glorious countryside.

© Baldock Bard
The Baldock Bard is now on FACEBOOK!
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!


www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

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Nursery Boot Rhyme 1

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I wonder what future generations will make of the term ‘Nursery Rhyme’? Will they think of a place that plants are grown and wonder what that has to do with children? Anyway enough of this nonsense. The picture above has nothing to do with the verse below (and before anyone thinks I’ve cheated by cut and pasting a ‘funny’ or ‘mildly amusing’ from the tinternettywhatsisname, I took the photo a couple of years ago in County Cork, Ireland). So sit back and enjoy this tasty little morsel…

Sing a song a-boot sale
A pocket full of cash
You should see the dealers
On their bargain-hungry dash!
Then afterwards a burger
That Carla makes with care
All this on a Saturday
We hope to see you there!

© Baldock Bard
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

 

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The Antique Dealer

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One of the enduring charms of a car boot sale is the unpredictability of what’s for sale. I once knew a man who went to a sale and didn’t find a Ming Dynasty vase worth £1m (however the next week he was luckier!). A dealer once told me that it was more important that he liked what he bought than immediately thinking about the profit. This simple mantra had served him well through his many years of trading. You never know, next Saturday you may just find that one piece that guarantees you fame on Antiques Roadshow…

Bill’s an antique dealer
,
He knows about fine china,
Always goes to antique shows
,
Digs up treasure like a miner
.

First at the car boot sale
,
To snap up all that’s good,
His wife comes too, her name is Sue,
She’d lie-in if she could.

He spied some old Spode dishes,
Said they were fantastic
,
All his stock goes to his shop,
At home they eat off plastic!

© Baldock Bard
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

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The Royal Wedding Anniversary!

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I feel I ought to apologise now and ask those of nervous disposition to look away. This verse is more slushy than the slushiest-blue slushy-iced drink you’ve ever tasted. However it does give me an excuse to dig out the above photo of two cardboard-cutouts supposedly selling unwanted wedding gifts at a car boot sale. So sorry to one and all and if you come to the boot sale one Saturday I’ll buy you a coffee to make it up to you…

The Royal Wedding Anniversary

This weekend a year ago,
The world watched a couple to the altar go.
Love, a rare part of this Royal alchemy,
The result, a press-perfect kiss on the balcony.
The media here has largely forgotten,
The furore it created over a bridesmaid’s bottom,
(Having turned her into a celebrity,
They’re now ripping her to shreds in gay Paree!)
Meanwhile the happy couple in public thrive,
They are central to the monarchy staying alive.
There’s only one think that should prevail,
I think they ought to visit the car boot sale!

© Baldock Bard
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

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The Waltons at the Boot Sale!

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One of the great things about the Baldock car boot sales is the diversity of the people and events. This means that no two Saturdays are ever the same. This morning was just another Saturday (with forecast of showers) until I had to tow the burger van onto the pitch (a first in 20 years, heavy overnight rain had made the grass slippery even though the ground was dry). During the course of the morning many new friends discovered the fun that can be had here. And then I spied it – in the car park was an old truck directly from an ancient TV series. The Waltons were here!
The sale was just about to close when (again for the first time in 20 years) a seller arrived and started to unload his car! But probably the most impressive of all the ‘firsts’ today was the man who came dashing up to me to pay, because he had to leave early as his daughter had just rung to say she’d gone into labour. Hopefully we shall know next week whether boy or girl! What a wonderfully unpredictable morning, one that not even the weather forecasters could spoil.

The Waltons at the Boot Sale!

Down at the boot sale, everything’s just fine,
there’s a queue of vehicles, waiting patiently in line.
In the burger van, they’re making lots of tea,
Dawn has recently broken, It’s quite a job to see.

I unattached the loos, make sure they’re nice and clean,
Customers always tell me, they’re the cleanest that they’ve seen,
Then I open up, put everyone in line,
The boot sale is now open, It’s Bootsale Sellin’ time!

What’s this in the car park? Gave me quite a fright,
The Walton’s have arrived, too early to say goodnight.
John and Olivia Walton, Grandma’s here as well,
John-Boy tells his girlfriend “Gee! This boot sale’s really swell!”

 © Baldock Bard
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!
www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

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Out in the Fog and Missed!

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Following a twentieth annual dose of nerves yesterday morning, Farmer Giles was much relieved when a large crowd of sellers and buyers arrived at the car boot sale. Thick fog threatened to disorientate first-timers, many who overshot the entrance, but all were eventually shown the way on their return by the vast number of others turning into the field…

First Sale of the Season!

When I arrived at the car boot sale,
Expecting rain or snow or hail,
A blanket of fog covered the site,
I couldn’t see either left or right!

The phone was hot from people ringing,
“Where’s your entrance? Please start singing!”
Just when I thought that this was fate,
The sun chased it off just after eight!

Lots of people and a smiling Jack:
“I’ve missed these sales, it’s good to be back.”
Masses of customers, plenty of booters,
More armfuls of bargains than last year’s looters!

Thomas and Carla served me bacon and tea
While munching my breakfast: “this’ll do me!”
After twenty years of ‘Opening Sale Day’
I should have known by now it would be Ok!

 © Baldock Bard
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues next Saturday!
www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074

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Boot Sale Saturday!

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You’ll have to forgive me (or make me suffer!). It’s five-twenty on Saturday morning and after a few hours sleep I’m off to open the first boot sale of the season. I don’t know if you remember a film called ‘Field of Dreams’ where a Kansas farmer built a baseball stadium in the middle of his maize field and sat back on the premise that ‘they will come’. Little did I realise when I watched the movie all those years ago, how prophetic these words would come to be. Each year I advertise, phone and do everything apart from running naked through the streets, in the hope that both sellers and customers ‘will come’ to the car boot sale. The worry is of course fruitless as they always do, but the thought is always there on day one… what if? Whatever you are doing and wherever you are doing it I wish for two things for you: Firstly that you are with someone you love and secondly that you have a wonderful day.

The Christmas tree has long since gone,
With hits by Slade and Yoko and John.
New Years resolution ‘Must go bicycling’
Like Easter egg packaging out for recycling.
The pasting table from the garage is found,
That with folding chair had gone to ground.
The alarm clock used on an extra day,
Say the kids from the duvet – “GO AWAY!”
Into the car at some unearthly hour,
Try to avoid the husband’s glower!
Arrive at Baldock at the light of day,
It’s time for booting – It’s Saturday!

© Baldock Bard
The Baldock Saturday Car Boot Sale returns
 for its 20th anniversary season TODAY!

www.u-boot.co.uk

Bootphone: 07852 707 074

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Lucky!

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Some years ago, a seller at the boot sale was given the nickname ‘Lucky’ as it appeared that he had suffered from more than his fair share of bad luck in life. Whenever he passed the food stand, they would shout “Lucky” and he’d give them a one-fingered salute while a wicked grin spread across his face. Despite his constant misfortune he had a great sense of humour and was able to laugh at himself as well as laugh at others.
It was only when he stopped attending that everyone realized what an important part of our lives he’d become. So this is for you, Lucky, wherever you are, with our thanks for lightening our lives…

LUCKY

Lucky was a seller at the boot sale,
When others were winning, he would just fail.
Lucky isn’t lucky any more.
He set out his stall, it took until ten,
By the time goods were out, time to load up again.
Lucky isn’t lucky any more.

In winter a range of cheapest sun-lotion,
Sold snow chains in August, to help with the motion.
Lucky isn’t lucky any more.
“Of course it’s pukka, one of my priorities!”
When caught selling fakes by the authorities
Lucky isn’t lucky any more.

His ex-BT van went up in smoke,
Some faulty lighters he bought from a bloke.
Lucky isn’t lucky any more.
Instead of the van he bought a green trailer,
It’s left wheel came off, it was a failer.
Lucky isn’t lucky any more.

He ‘out-Del Boyed’ Del Boy, was a real Trotter
Always the nice guy, never the rotter,
Lucky should be lucky for sure.
Now Lucky has gone, to sell stuff in heaven,
Took a wrong turning, ended up down in Devon.
Lucky, you’re lucky once more!

© Baldock Bard
The Baldock Saturday Car Boot Sale returns on the 14th April 2012
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Lost Loos! – Bootsale Archive 4

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24th April 1999 – Arrived at the bootsale at 0530 only to find someone had stolen the portable toilets! After calling the police I dashed to fetch a spare. The policeman that arrived to look at the empty space was called PC Sweeny (Cockney rhyming slang ‘Sweeny’ or ‘Sweeny Todd’ = Flying Squad (at the time a division of the police). I have attached the local newspaper report which is, predictably, even more tongue-in-cheek than the verse!

24/4/99
When I opened the boot sale last Saturday
I noticed that someone had taken the toilets away
I rang the police they sent PC Sweeney
Who agreed that this was the work of a ‘dastardly meanie’
According to the PC known as ‘John’
Police have nothing on which to go on!
By the time the replacement was into position
Many were queuing on a desperate mission
If you are the culprit and are reading this
We all agree “you’ve taken the p***!”

The Baldock Saturday Car Boot Sale returns on the 14th April 2012
www.u-boot.co.uk

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