Driving Over Lemons!

Posted on June 23, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Last night I enjoyed a tarte au citron for supper (following excellent meatballs made by my ‘demi-Italien’ friend Tony). Suddenly, without warning, I remembered a seller who made an annual trip to the car boot sale and I realised with shock that it must be at least ten years since I had seen him…

A man from Spain,
used to visit his mum,
who lived in the Midlands,
not far from ‘Brum’.
Before he left,
home on his trip,
from his garden,
fresh lemons he’d pick.
On his stall,
freshest fruit you’d see,
gone in an instant,
some for me.
So Señor limón,
where have you gone?
I remember your lemons,
though you have moved on!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Jim Hits The Deck!

Posted on June 19, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Clearing up after the car boot sale the other day I came across a discarded item from a stall. There, abandoned and unloved, lay Jim Reeves. How are the mighty fallen, from Top of the Pops to abandoned at Boot Sale…

A Jim Reeves sleeve hits the deck,
an aged lady says “By Heck!”
but Jim just lies upon the grass,
out of favour his time did pass.
I realise I may be wrong,
can’t remember a Jim Reeves song.
The housewives’ choice from years ago,
now thrown away that’s how it go.
Unfortunately there’s no way back,
As he slips inside the refuse sack.

Jack the Russell

Posted on May 29, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

We have many discerning customers at the Saturday car boot sales we hold on the farm. This is not only because entry amd parking for buyers is free, but because the sellers bring along such fascinating items to sell. One buyer who knows, and gets, what he wants is called ‘Jack’ and is amongst the many ‘four-legged buyers’ we see each week…

Every Saturday without fail,
Jack comes to the car boot sale,
Leads his human around the field,
Wondering what today will yield!
He chooses his purchase with much care,
Always picks a teddy-bear!
Then turns his back as if to say,
“I have chosen, now you pay!”

The Early Phone Call

Posted on May 16, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

When you run an event that involves a phone number you have to be polite at all times. However this can be a tad difficult when a ‘Sir’ rings before daybreak! What I enjoy most of all is to be woken by a request for information about another boot sale miles away…

Good morning world
it’s a brand new day!
“Is your boot sale on today?”

“Good morning sir,
may I just say,
It’s ten past four on Saturday!”

“Is it on?
I need the facts,
before I leave for Halifax!”

“Goodbye sir
that’s nice to know
this is Baldock, now off you go! “

The pillow’s cold,
my wife’s awake,
might as well get up “For heaven’s sake!”

Please do call,
my fault my phone,
a personal service not answerphone!

A Killer Strikes!

Posted on May 9, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

We are down from ten to two chickens and it’s our own fault. If we kept them locked up in a shed they’d have been safe, however we like to see them roaming around the farm as nature intended. The two remaining hens, Mrs Brown and Mrs Black (Mrs White’s head was found detached from her body along with the others including the ‘Tiptoe Twins’). They now stick together and wander around wondering where their friends have gone and if there are tastier scraps to be found there, while I prepare a surprise for the fox…

On our farm about a week ago,
A fox came calling and away did go,
Killed our chickens removed their heads,
Whilst they were sleeping in their beds.
Feathers scattered all around,
My favourite hens dead on the ground.
If that fox had wanted food,
I wouldn’t hate him or be rude.
If I’m late to the boot sale then you’ll know,
I’m no longer woken by the cockerel’s crow!

Early Malted Wheats!

Posted on April 25, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Third week of the car boot sale season and I’m up before the alarm clock. The first phone call interrupts my breakfast at 05:35, but such is life when you’re in retail! Time speeds by at this time of the morning…

Five-thirty in the morning I’m eating Malted Wheats,
I’ve left my warm bed with its comforting sheets.
Daylight is breaking soon time to go,
To open the gates, and let traffic flow!
One thing with a boot sale you have no idea,
Who will be selling or who will appear,
What will be selling, what will folk buy?
I’d better get moving doesn’t time fly!

I hope you have a most enjoyable Saturday and it brings all you’d wish for!
© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Up at the Crack of Dawn!

Posted on April 11, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

This morning I’ve heaved my protesting body out of a comfortable warm bed at silly-o’clock for the first time this year. This is the approximately 586^th morning I’ve wandered down the road to organize a car boot sale since 1992. My chariot (Mitzi with three loos on a trailer) awaits, along with a queue of sellers who have uncomfortable mattresses…

A quarter past five
My alarm shouts a warning!
“Get Up, Get Up!
It’s a Saturday morning!

Get down the road,
Open the gate,
They’ll be people waiting,
Don’t you be late!”

My hand blundered about,
There was a loud knock,
I’ll look at the boot sale,
For a new alarm clock!

I wish you all a great weekend. If you’re visiting a bootsale near Baldock, please be gentle on the tired old man on the gate!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
This and every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Eric’s Mum

Posted on December 19, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Farming can be a lonely occupation. Some farmers will see less than a handful of people in the course of a week. I consider myself most fortunate, for the last 23 years from Easter to October, I have seen folk-a-plenty at my weekly Saturday car boot sales.

This week I lost one of my favourite customers, known to me simply as ‘Eric’s Mum’. When my son David was killed in a car accident 11 years ago, she said nothing, but simply held my hand. She knew that sometimes the simple act of holding hands can comfort when there is nothing to be said. She was kindness personified, had a gentle sense of humour and a smile that could light up even the dullest morning. When I saw her for the last time a week ago, I realised that I could add remarkable bravery to the list. Despite being so very poorly, she smiled that wonderful smile and chatted as if it on a day out rather than visiting her sickbed.

Wherever you are today and whatever you have planned, please set aside a moment to give a thought to Eric’s Mum and perhaps take the opportunity to smile at a stranger or do a random act of kindness in her memory.

Goodbye Eric’s Mum, thank you and God bless.

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

Fine Before Seven Rain after Eleven!

Posted on October 4, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Car boot sales are totally dependent on the weather. Even the slightest shower of rain in this part of the UK will send buyers scurrying for their cars, game over! This season hasn’t been kind on the weather front, when rain has been forecast it has usually been on a Saturday. This has a serious effect on visitors to the sales. At the time of writing it is 05:30 on a Saturday morning, who knows what awaits me down the road…

They’re queuing in a field just east of Baldock,
On a Saturday morning well before seven!
Their vehicles are all full of many surprises,
They’re queuing to attend car boot sale heaven!
The forecasters haven’t done it any sort of justice,
They’re forecasting rain soon after eleven,
Don’t they know that this is Home Counties?
Where it doesn’t rain as much as in Devon!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18^th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Mobile Mayhem!

Posted on September 26, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

This has been not a great week for mobile phones. The much-heralded i-phone 6 has been found to bend into another shape, lose signal and not respond to upgrades. My ordinary mobile that I keep for the car boot sale enquiries has also been playing up and I feared for its future…

I have an ordinary mobile phone,
That I keep for the bootsale.
I also find it useful,
Should my i-phone ever fail!
This week I found it had a fault,
As no calls were received,
Just messages from a week ago,
Which left me most aggrieved!
This morning in a fit of pique,
I turned the damn thing off,
I turned it on from frozen,
And woke it with a cough!
So narrowly has it avoided the bin,
In the nick of time,
That I promise to treat it better,
Until of course next time!

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Car Boot Sale Verse