Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life

The Last Bootsale!

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It is not yet 5am on a Saturday morning and I am preparing to leave the warm kitchen to go down and open up the car boot sale for the last time this season. Some may view this with a tinge of sadness, however I can’t believe that I’ve been doing them for so long! Over 40,500 sellers and an estimated 800,000 buyers have visited over the years and we’ve held over 650 sales! Hey Ho! Hey Ho! It’s off to the Bootsale I go…

They’re queuing in the dark at the bootsale,
eager to get in and sell,
hoping that the weather will hold out,
and that they will do well.
The buyers are still asleep,
tucked up in comfy warm beds,
but in cars and vans in the farmer’s field,
treasure from garages and sheds!
Around the bootsale this morning,
the end of out twenty-fifth season,
“Happy Christmas” will be the greeting,
and friendliness will be the reason!
May I be the first to wish you all Happy Christmas (only 72 days early!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

LAST SATURDAY MORNING THIS SEASON!
Season Ends 14th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Exercising Johns Pet!

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Yesterday my son in law, John, took his trusty chainsaw for some exercise in the churchyard. It screamed with delight as it sunk its teeth into a dead flowering cherry tree and positively screamed with pleasure as it cut up three dead elm trees. As the unskilled labourer I was in charge of loading the brushwood into the Loadall bucket for disposal…

John’s chainsaw yells with utter delight,
as out of a tree-trunk it takes a bite.
Dressed for protection John looks a pro,
being unqualified I decline a go.
Trees fall here and trees fall there,
expertly felled miss graves by a hair,
all too soon it’s time to go home,
leaving churchyard occupants in peace on their own.

If you’re thinking of exercising your chainsaw today, make sure it’s got sharp teeth!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Mountainous Echo!

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The last of the oats went yesterday and there are just two lorry-loads of beans left. It seems strange that it was only on Sunday that the barn echoed to singing and yet in just two days there is a bigger echo than Julie Andrews found from the mountain-top in the Sound of Music…

There’s a cavern-like echo,
in our storage barn,
The oats are all gone,
By lorry from the farm,
Apart from some sweepings,
I’ve kept for the geese,
their equivalent of a Pernod,
on the seafront in Nice!

Two lorry-loads of beans,
Are to go to Kings Lynn,
nothing in the grain store,
nothing left in a bin.
That’s it for harvest,
the last that I’ll do,
In future I’ll observe,
from a deckchair like you!

I will also be able to retire the sweeping brush and grain shovel, they seem to have been my constant companions just lately. I will hardly miss them!
© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Out-Barded in the Barn!

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Last Sunday the village church relocated to our barn for the Harvest Festival. About seventy people came to celebrate harvest, sing the old favorites and have lunch afterwards. It was a great way of remembering how lucky we are in our lives. However during the service I was unexpectedly called up to the front by one of the two vicars and given a poem to read. I’d been out-Barded in my own barn. So for my 1,600th blog posting I can include a ‘Guest Verse-monger!’My grain barn was laid out as a church
including hay bales on which to perch,
a heap of oats a pile made of bean,
a big-bale altar in between!
Then all of a sudden I was called,
had no idea – was not enthralled,
was handed a sheet for me to read,
on which was a verse – I didn’t dare plead!
So thanks to Nick Lyness (With no alarm!)
I was ‘out-barded’ in my own barn!

With many thanks to Fiona and Nick for taking such a truly memorable service. It’s not often that something that doesn’t involve dust a brush or a lorry happens in the barn!
I have reproduced Nick’s verse below for all to see, beneath that dog-collar he has hidden talents – Many thanks for writing such nice things about me!
© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Friday Wine Glass!

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Mrs Bard and I went to the wholesalers in Watford this week. You never know just what you’ll see for sale and there is always at least one surprise item. On display this visit was the biggest wine glass I’ve ever seen. I guess it would have held somewhere in the region of five bottles of wine. However in this puritanical, liberal and do-gooder age we live in, there had to be a spoilsport sign: ‘For Decorative Purposes Only’, as if anyone would be so silly…

I collapsed in the chair on Friday eve,
what a bitch of a week you wouldn’t believe,
sweeping beans had left me knackered,
and what with the News, I was shattered.
Then I thought ‘I need some wine’
restorative elixir for Friday-eve time.
Fetched the ‘large glass’ tall and wide
and filled it from the tanker outside!

Have a great Friday, remember to drink responsibly.
The weekend is almost here – HURRAH!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Screaming Beans!

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The last of the beans have now been swept and conveyed (with the help of my trusty son-in-law, John), to the floor of the barn next door leaving the silos empty. Never a pleasant job sweeping anything from the bins but the beans add another dimension – noise! The hard-as-bullets seeds rattle and scream as they are swept towards the conveyor, so much so that if ear defenders aren’t worn, the next few hours are spent saying “pardon”…

“I beg your pardon,
what did you say?
I’ve been in a bin,
sweeping beans today!
What with the dust,
shovel and brush,
all I can hear,
is turned to mush!
We both wore masks,
Halloween is soon,
when I’ll be seen flying
away on my broom!”
Have a good day, stay safe and be careful with that hearing!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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A Harvest Bag of Beans!

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This is a week of Harvest Festivals. On Monday I went to a service held by my Granddaughter’s school, it was an amazing modern service, not a hint of ploughing the fields and scattering. I remember going to a harvest festival at my daughter’s primary school many years ago when the vicar was late! During the pause, before he finally arrived carrying his shopping and wondering why everyone was assembled in his church, I re-wrote the words to a seasonal hymn! Somewhat changed here we go again…

We plough the fields and scatter,
with help from the EU,
soon we will be on our own,
that’s right – just me and you!
Herman, Jaques and Roberto,
will sneer at us and say:
“There’ll be no trade agreements,
why don’t you go away?
You’ll have to take our exports,
as for our markets all’s not as it seems,
any agreement we might have had,
ain’t worth a bag of beans!”

With apologies to all but it seems that farming will soon be on its own in a cold harsh climate with only the British Government to rely on for assistance (Ha Ha!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Sunrise!

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I was going to write a long diatribe about the wonderful sunrise last Saturday morning just as the car boot sale was opening. I was going to marvel at nature’s light-show and how the birdsong echoed around the field. Perhaps I might even have mentioned the rabbits and hares that were seen stretching as they arose from their slumber ready to face another wonderful day. However, I took one look at the photo I took and decided that words on this occasion were just superfluous and for once in my life I should shut up…

Enjoy the photo!

Have a great weekend with the ones you love and stay safe. BB.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Feeding The Farm Staff!

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These last few days I’ve been busy loading oats. This is a tricky operation as the lorry has to be full to the brim in order to achieve a useful tonnage (oats weigh considerably less than wheat). When I have made three large heaps on the trailer, the driver drives forward as fast as he can before slamming on the brakes. This helps to level the load and fill up the odd corner before I load more! Unfortunately in these days of automatic sheets to cover the load, some spillage occurs. This is warmly greeted by certain members of the farm staff who have been waiting to pounce nearby…

You can tell I’ve been loading oats,
some have spilt in the yard,
the geese all honk “Thank-you,
it’s our payment for being on-guard!
We wander around at night,
we sometimes honk for danger,
then our silent attack,
and see off a lingering stranger!
Christmas is coming,
on oats we’re getting fat,
we’re too old and tough to eat,
thank heaven’s for that!”

If you are having trouble with strangers, get some geese (they don’t like it up ’em Captain Mainwaring!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Oats From A Different Angle!

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When you have a drone you get to see everyday actions from an entirely different angle. I had never thought of filming the loading of a lorry as I’m normally doing the loading. Last Friday son-in-law John drove the JCB Loadall, leaving me free to film. It was also handy for the lorry driver to be able to keep an eye on the load so we could get the maximum amount of light-weighing oats per load…

John is driving the Loadall,
he is very careful,
not to spill,
only to fill,
and keep everybody cheerful!

The Bard flies the drone,
over the lorry trailer roam,
it avoids the dust,
that’s a must,
digital pictures not Kodachrome!
My Mavic Pro does seem to like to get in on the act, could this be an ‘Auto-Drone-Selfie?’
Apologies for the poor quality verse!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until 14th October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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