Emptying The Barn!

Posted on August 11, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It is at this point in the farming year that I start to get nervous. The wheat has all been harvested and lorries start to take the wheat from the farm. All of a sudden the heap diminishes and doubts creep in as to whether there is enough to fulfil the contracts that I signed back in January when the plant was no higher than the toe of my wellie. Yesterday we loaded 180 tonnes and suddenly there is an ominous echo around the barn…

Eight loads of wheat have gone,
there’s space now in the barn,
Two-hundred and forty tonnes,
I have a sense of alarm!
‘Will there? Won’t there? Be enough?’
a little voice says to me!
and all that I can say in return,
“We shall just have to wait and see!”

If you’re sending grain away today, I hope you have no rejections or moisture claims! It also looks as if combines might roll again today.

© Baldock Bard 2017
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Raining Stopped Play!

Posted on August 9, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

The Combine-driver’s dog wonders when she’ll be back in her dry cab!

It’s August 9^th and it has rained for two days on-and-off now. Farmers are kicking their heels and wandering around the house getting on the nerves of their nearest and dearest. Driving anywhere seems to take them past the field where the rain stopped play, however unlike a cricket test match, there are no covers over the playing surface…

It’s been raining cats and dogs,
pouring from the sky,
farmers looking up to the clouds,
shake their fists and wonder why
it’s raining so much in August,
when harvest is early today,
“August is a wet month”
Grandfather used to say!
you can blame it on Global Warming,
or on the round full moon,
whatever is to blame,
I hope summer returns and soon!

Meanwhile across Southern Europe the ovens of Hell are at full steam, There’s nowt so strange as weather!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Lucky Farmer!

Posted on August 8, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday it rained on my parade! We were on the home straight of our harvest and had just about 20 acres of oats to finish when the heavens opened (there are also 80 acres of beans which aren’t yet ready to harvest). I was, as the media would have said ‘visibly upset!’ However when I considered how much wheat is left on other farms, I put my self-pity back in the drawer and felt sorry for others…

On the floor in the shed,
a heap of wheat not yet bread!
Outside the fields are stubble now,
awaiting patiently the tractor and plough!
Twenty acres of oats still wait,
for a return of summer – another date!
The happiest in the rain is a mallard duck,
and this old farmer who can’t believe his luck!

Picture taken with a Mavic Pro drone inside the shed, perilously close to the roof, but I managed not to crash!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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God’s Perfect Harvest View!

Posted on August 7, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

This has been a strange harvest, I have ridden my luck almost every day in one way or another and unusually come out the other side smelling of roses! We have had the strangest of weather, one day it rained on one side of the farm and not the other and local farmers have been stopped while we continued. Yesterday I had fine minutes to spare and put up the drone…

From my drone the fields look like corduroy,
the massive combine a mere toy,
the tractor and trailer minuscule,
everything looks peaceful as a rule.
From up here on high the dust isn’t seen,
a perfect rural idyll scene,
so today I’d like to share with you,
God’s own perfect harvest view!

Have a great Monday wherever you are and whatever you’re doing!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Cancellation

Posted on August 5, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

When you organise an outdoor event of any kind, from a family barbecue in the garden to a large show or even a car boot sale, the most difficult decision is ‘When to Cancel’. This morning I took the unusual step of cancelling our weekly boot sale because at the time it was raining hard and the forecast was terrible. The decision has to be boldly taken, however I shall be judged in hindsight. If there is rain of biblical proportions I shall be judged as ‘brave’. If the torrents, thunder and lightening fail to materialise I shall simply be called a wimp…

The forecast was terrible,
in Baldock Noah started building an ark,
he looked around for animals,
even thought it was still dark!
He came across a sign,
at the local car boot sale,
‘This sale has been cancelled,
due to forecasted rain and hail!’
He tutted rather loudly,
with expletives he didn’t skimp,
“Won’t bother with the ark,
this farmer is such a wimp!”

As I write, the sky is clearing and I think the decision I made while it was still dark may have been of the wimpish kind!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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Spanner Before Hammer!

Posted on August 4, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Sometimes when things go wrong I find I have just enough knowledge to fix a problem. There are also times when I have not enough knowledge to be useful but enough to be dangerous! This week has been a case in point. When we started the grain elevator in the store (a series of cups on a long belt that lifts the grain vertically to a conveyor that feeds the bins) there was something wrong. The belts were pulling to one side. Unfortunately I decided I could fix it…

Up in the roof of the grain store,
a job I’d never attempted before,
the belts of the elevator weren’t running straight,
a scrunching noise as on the side they scrape,
Not much time to effect a repair,
harvest delayed by rain to be fair,
a bearing to replace – ‘a piece of cake!’
that is when basic errors you make.
So far it has taken quite a few hours,
a simple repair beyond my weak powers,
I should learn to leave things as they are,
not hammer, before spanner, before the crowbar!

There is no fool like an old fool, I will have to admit defeat and call in someone who knows!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Farmer and his Drone!

Posted on August 3, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Our luck with the weather has run out! Harvest is now at a stop thanks to a very heavy downpour yesterday afternoon. However before it rained I managed to get my drone out for ten minutes and captured harvest from a different angle…

A birds-eye view is not the same,
altogether a different game,
the drone soars up into the sky,
sends back pictures from its ‘Magic Eye!’
Harvest time is all rush and go,
no time for playing with my Mavic Pro,
so every minute others are saying,
“There’s the farmer, look he’s playing!”

…and I don’t care because at a time of stress – it’s such fun!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Farmer’s Painted Nails!

Posted on August 2, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday, while grabbing some lunch between the arrival of loads of wheat at the store, I let my four-year-old granddaughter use her nail varnish set on me! Not being a regular user of such things, it was only later that I realised that I was stuck with painted nails for the rest of the day. Going over to see the contractors who were baling straw, I had forgotten this as I pointed out the fields…

“Did you see the farmer’s painted nails?
Never seen that while baling bales!
My sense of amazement never fails,
must be something in the water!”

“He doesn’t belong with alpha males,
looks are about minor details,
I hear that he writes daily tales,
pity his poor granddaughter!”

Thanks to the Big-Bale crew for not noticing, although it was probably enough to keep you amused for weeks! Last night I discovered the joys of nail varnish remover!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

It Can’t be Raining!

Posted on August 1, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

All of a sudden we are in harvest! The combine is plodding up and down the field, the grain cart is rushing to and fro filling the store and one eye is firmly fixed upon the dark clouds that encircle the farm. Then the worst case scenario – it starts to rain. However there is an old combine drivers saying…

‘It can’t be raining,
if you ignore the wipers’,
the sun is hiding,
behind storm clouded vipers!

I find myself carting,
wheat to the barn,
there is rain on the windscreen,
I shriek with alarm!

All of a sudden,
the precipitation gone
such a good job,
I didn’t turn the wipers on!
…and then my son-in-law, John, arrives back from holiday in France and jumps straight on the tractor. Good luck twice in one day, it could be my lucky harvest!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Lonely Combine!

Posted on July 31, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

The last few days have shown little evidence of summer. Frequent showers have meant that harvest for some has been a damp, stop/start affair. Farmers have to wait until wheat is dry enough to store or sell and the magic reading on the oft-sworn-at moisture meter is 15%. A neighbour’s giant green combine has spent a lonely weekend in a half cut field. More combines have been abandoned in fields this weekend than if there had been a zombie invasion…

Like a giant feeding animal,
chained on a far too short tether,
the Class Lexion combine,
is awaiting dry weather.
Abandoned when the storm hit,
the driver dashed to the farm,
leaving it alone and abandoned,
Harvest stop-start with alarm!
Fast forward to this morning,
with moisture meter they’ll go
pray for a good reading
and harvest will flow!

Whatever your harvest is, whether behind a desk or in a field, have a good one today!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life

Emptying The Barn!

Raining Stopped Play!

The Lucky Farmer!

God’s Perfect Harvest View!

The Cancellation

Spanner Before Hammer!

The Farmer and his Drone!

The Farmer’s Painted Nails!

It Can’t be Raining!

The Lonely Combine!