Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life

The Abandoned Frying Pan!

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After our 687th car boot sale in our 25th year there was very little rubbish to pick up. The morning had started with un-forecasted drizzle but by closing time the sun was shinning. It was quite pleasant wandering around picking up the odd piece of paper or coffee cup. I have found many things left behind in the past, however I came upon a ‘first’…

‘Shadowman’ was picking litter,
after the car boot sale,
his eyesight not what it used to be,
but spots litter without fail!
There on the ground lay a frying pan,
to pick it up he leant down,
but shadows have no grip at all,
so it stayed upon the ground!
Someone had paid 50p,
or that was the price thereon,
the pan was detached from the handle,
thankfully pancake day has gone!

Have a great week. I hope you stay contented, happy and safe

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Silver Stairway to Relief!

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Yesterday while preparing for the first car boot sale of the season I noticed some remedial work was necessary on the toilet steps. After welding up the joints I remembered I had some odd spray cans left over in a unit from an untidy tenant. Two of the cans were silver wheel paint, how perfect for our twenty-fifth anniversary season at the car boot sale…

On top of the trailer staircase,
you will find relief,
the facilities are clean,
I hope your visit’s brief!
On our silver anniversary,
of the car boot sale,
would be unfortunate,
if the staircase were to fail.
I welded up some cracks,
(one hidden underneath)
then painted the staircase silver,
‘Silver Stairway to Relief!’

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, have fun and stay safe.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK THIS Morning!
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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They Will Come!

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Twenty-five years ago this year I stood in a field of grass near Baldock with the gate open. I was hoping, rather like Kevin Costner in the film Field of Dreams, that ‘They Will Come!’ That morning, twelve brave sellers came through the gate with around sixty buyers and the Baldock Car Boot Sale was up and running! However, for 686 Saturday mornings since then, a little voice in the back of my head has continually whispered saying: “Will they come?” Thankfully the answer has always been ‘YES!’ and we have clocked up over 40,000 sellers and well over 500,000 buyers since that first tentative step. They did come…

In my ‘Field of Dreams’,
near to Baldock town,
we have a boutique boot sale,
the happiest around.
It may not be the biggest,
it may not be that small,
but our customers are the friendliest,
God bless them one and all!

Dedicated to the thousands of friends I’ve made during the last 25 years.

From the film ‘Fields of Dreams’ 1989 (Universal Pictures) starring Kevin Costner: 
Ray, people will come Ray. They’ll come to Iowa for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they’re doing it. They’ll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past…
…This field, this game: it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh… people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK THIS SATURDAY!
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Farmers in Pyjamas!

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The other day I was looking at a zebra (as one does on a Thursday near Baldock!) and wondering what it would be like to saddle it up and ride it through the town! It was early afternoon and the only drink that had passed my lips that day was soft…

Wouldn’t it be such fun,
to ride a zebra through the town,
passers-by would wonder why,
and look me up and down!

“Look at that horse in pyjamas”
They’d say to one and all,
“riding through town in a dressing gown?
doesn’t he look a fool!”

“Perhaps he is dreaming,
riding the dusty plains,
inspecting crops in worn flip-flops
hoping that it rains!”

“It’s probably a nightmare,
After a night of drink,
farmers in pyjamas?
What must his mother think?”

With apologies to those who are looking for sense on this Wednesday morning! Have a great day, take care and avoid zebras!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK THIS SATURDAY!
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Grandfather Rights!

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Following the abolition of Grandfather Rights on farms, I now find myself in need of training in order to do what I used to do as a matter of course. I have completed and passed my PA6A (for knapsack sprayers see (http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=9155), but found myself without the foundation course PA1 (Safe Use of Pesticides). Some have questioned my rush for certification, even going so far as to enquire whether I shall be signing up for course ZF3 – safe handling of a Zimmer frame…

Having passed my PA6 it was enquired of me:
“you have no PA1, as far as I can see!”
So yesterday to Whittlesford for more training I went,
‘back to the classroom for you’ I was sent!
Another candidate 40yrs younger than me,
“You here for the Zimmer course, that I can see!”
I replied ‘pardon, my hearing is so poor,
are you in a draught? Then I’ll shut the door!”
I started spraying in nineteen seventy-four,
Now I’ve learned lots I didn’t know before.
Gary taught me much, notes page after page,
Continuous Professional Development…
…even at my advanced age!

Thanks to teacher Gary for his patience in imparting so much information in such a short space of time. Many thanks (with good luck and best wishes) to the other pupil, Katie, who was kind enough not to point out that I was probably old enough to be her grandfather. Gary and Robert (the examiner!) can be found at the Saffron Walden Training Group www.swatg.co.uk

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Lovely Lucky Cowslips!

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Do you ever carry out tasks while on auto-pilot? Those tasks that have become so ordinary that your brain spends time ‘away from home?’ Yesterday evening I was mowing the lawn, brain definitely elsewhere, when I almost ran over some annual guests…

The beautiful Cowslips,
back again this year,
in the middle of the lawn,
a disaster was so near. 

Every spring I avoid them,
every spring there’s more,
I even avoid them later,
until seeding done for sure. 

In emergency I stopped the mower,
they had vanished out of sight,
I felt sick until I reversed,
they they were – they were alright!

Have a great weekend. Make sure you avoid the avoidable and bump into just friends!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Drover’s Inn

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Yesterday I was flying my drone above a small wood on the farm known as ‘The Rough Field’. This is actually not a bad name for the small wooded area as it was the location of an inn in the Seventeenth Century called The Tabbard. It was next to the old Icknield Way, an ancient Roman Road, popular with drovers and had a field (presumably to house the drovers animals overnight) called Fiddler’s Mead. Its fate is described by the name of the track leading down to it from what is now the main road to Baldock, one can only presume that activities in the inn at Rough Field led to the naming of Burnthouse Lane…

“I’ve walked many a few miles,
these last few days,” said the drover.
“I’ve avoided rogues and thieves,
on my journey down to Dover!
And now I’m ready,
to sup a quart of ale,
lay my hand upon a wench,
and listen to many a drunken tale!
My sheep are safely grazing
in the meadow called Fiddlers Mead,
bring me a jug of ale,
I have not patience left to plead.”
Later that terrible night,
in the light of the full moon,
drunken drovers started fighting,
it was over all too soon.
Our drover bleeding and staggering
with the bolt across the door,
fell into the fireplace,
drover and inn were no more!

Wishing you a good day. May your sheep never wander and your glass always be full

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Retired Tractor!

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Yesterday I started up our old David Brown tractor. When she was new and shiny she was on display at the East of England Show! Now her bonnet is pitted with rust, her windscreen is filthy and she sometimes can’t help but dribble oil. She is is also prone to bad moods, gross flatulence and doesn’t like getting up in the mornings…

We have an old tractor,
Her name is David Brown!
She’s now retired,
Doesn’t work upon the ground.
She’ll likely be seen,
Sawing up some wood,
She’d like to go ploughing,
I doubt if she could.
So she sits in the shed,
Doesn’t go anywhere,
It’s the tractor equivalent,
Of the high wing-back chair!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Downside of Pigsheds!

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Thirty-five years ago we had pigs on the farm. Unfortunately they became less and less profitable and so we became a stock-less, arable farm. The piggeries were turned into small industrial units, about double the size of a lock-up garage. Over the years we have had a variety of tenants from motorhome builders to motorbike breakers to picture framers to car repairers. Very seldom over this time have tenants surprised me, however there is always one who surpasses all others…

We had a crap tenant I’ll call him ‘Fred’,
did auto-repairs in our former pig shed.
One day he just up-sticked and left,
I have to say – leaving no-one bereft!
When we opened his former unit door,
it looked like landfill all over the floor.
I called in some help to clear out the place,
the smell and the filth was an utter disgrace.
Thanks to them all it’s ready to rent,
family labour is just Heaven sent!

The upside to this story is that a new tenant joins us this morning and the old tenant has moved to a unit in Birmingham. I have learned my lesson and am more choosy now. 

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Sunny Clod Crushing!

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It’s strange how a few hours can make such a difference to most things. The evening before last I had to pull out of rolling a field after the drill because great clods of clay were sticking to the rolls. Yesterday the sun came out and within a few hours the result was completely different and I was a ‘Happy Chappie!”…

Some days things go badly,
other days things go well.
Yesterday I was in rolling heaven,
the day before in rolling hell!
When the sun comes out in the afternoon,
and the top of the soil dries,
the rolls clank away merrily,
a perfect clod-crushing exercise!
Whatever you do in life,
some days work out just fine,
often your rolls clog in the morning,
after lunch bathe in perfect sunshine!

May the sun shine on you today, your rolls clank merrily and crush all those clods that inhibit your enjoyment of a Friday!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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