Different Fields!

Posted on March 30, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday evening I realised with alarm that the ground after the drill was wetter than I had considered. I had momentarily forgotten two basic rules of farming – ‘No two fields are the same’ and ‘Make mess at drilling time and it’ll still be there at harvest!’ I’d rolled two fields in perfect conditions and then reached the third that was much wetter…

Sometimes it’s time to go home,
and leave the operation ’till later,
the rolls were clogging up after drilling oats,
more lumps than an alligator!
The drill man looked in desperation,
raised his eyes to the sky,
one look and I knew what he was thinking,
“you’re making a mess of my job – OH WHY?”

If you’re passing my brown field outside Baldock, just look the other way and I’ll be very grateful!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22^nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The View from my Window!

Posted on March 29, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

There is nothing quite like the view from a tractor cab when you’re doing a job like rolling. You sit there hour after hour going up and down the field putting the sort of stripes in the wheat crop that are normally associated with Wimbledon Tennis Club. However, after a while it can get rather tedious…

Rolling the wheat on West Field,
up and down I go,
boredom is setting in,
fed up with the radio!
My flask of tea is empty,
the water has gone too,
and all I’m left to occupy me,
is watch the passing view!
It’s then I suddenly realise,
how lucky can I be,
watching passing countryside,
Anyone want to swap with me?

Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing today, enjoy the view!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22^nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Oh Deer!

Posted on March 21, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

I was flying my drone over a field of wheat to check on establishment when I came upon some grazing guests. They didn’t seem to take much notice of the buzzing machine above them but continued to munch on a tasty wheat lunch! It reminded me of a question asked by school children on a visit to the farm last year…

Some schoolchildren when visiting the farm,
asked a question without alarm:
“Mr Farmer?” when I was near,
“Can you tell who owns those deer?”
They thought that I was making fun,
when I told them “Not anyone!
they spend their days they always roam,
where they are they call their home!”
That explanation is complete,
except when they’re munching at my wheat!

…But I do love to see them, they are such graceful animals that it’s easy to forgive!

A Drill-Man’s Woes!

Posted on March 17, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It’s no fun being a drill-man! When drilling, it is vital that he is given the right size of the field. 0.32ha (0.78 acres) can make a great difference as we found out late last night when we ran out of seed with only a handkerchief-sized area unsown. If my legs were long enough, I’d kick myself…

A drill-mans life can sometimes be,
full of doubt and misery!
It comes about through calculations,
and sometimes rather damp cultivations.
It always helps him to know,
the correct acreage you need to sow,
this avoids that terrible need,
when late at night there’s no more seed.
Any drill-man worth his salt,
will always know it’s the farmers fault!

I woke up this morning was it just a dream?
I looked in the barn – not a single bean!

March Dust!

Posted on March 16, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Farming is in many ways a game of chance. You don’t need to lecture a farmer about climate change as he is very aware of the differences between weather experienced in different years and seasons, let alone decades. For instance, there are few over-paid, over-pensioned, so-called climate ‘experts’ who would know about the phenomenon called ‘March Dust’…

‘March Dust is Worth a Kings Ransom’
or so they’ve always said.
It doesn’t happen many years,
so I’ve seen or read!
You get out the rolls,
to roll the wheat,
drive up and down,
on your tractor seat!
Then if you’re lucky,
(take this on trust!)
you may just notice,
some rare March Dust!

This may mean,
in many ways,
a farmer can shout:
“Happy Days!”

May you have a happy day and find some rare March Dust of your own!
Stay lucky and safe.

Francis and the Pigtails!

Posted on March 15, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday on the farm, relief tractor driver Francis was cultivating. It is worth noting two facts: One: He has cultivated more land in his time than most of us have had hot dinners. Two: Having fathered three boys, one would possibly consider that his knowledge of ‘pigtails’ was sparse. He may not be used to platting hair but his understanding of a ‘Pigtail’ cultivator is probably unrivaled…

Up and down the field he goes,
keeping the straightest uniform rows.
He’s done this job many times before,
today, yesterday and in days of yore!
Some may use an expensive machine,
he knows oldies are not what they seem.
Despite some rust and faded paint,
they get on with the job – ‘flash they ain’t!’
In summer you’ll find him checking yield
‘cos he’s out standing in his field!

Many thanks to Francis for stepping up to the plate, it’s great to have you back!

The Must-Ride Road

Posted on March 14, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

The road outside the farm is the last straight overtaking area before it becomes winding and narrow with hairpin bends and adverse cambers. In other words a biker’s heaven. Unfortunately all too often it turns into a biker’s hell with ambulance crews picking up the pieces, police taking down evidence and fire crews left to wash the road. It is known as a ‘Must-Ride Road’. However add lorries, tractors and other traffic to crass stupidity and sadly it can become a ‘Must Die Road’…

Travelling down a local road,
empty Loadall no heavy load,
I’d cleaned the mirrors so I could see,
all around and what was behind me.
I indicated right for a field gateway,
two cars slowed some distance away,
I started to turn and suddenly spied,
a biker had appeared alongside.
How I missed him I’ll never know,
I’d done everything safely to see and show,
that’s no way to behave,
unless he sought an early grave.
So if you see a tractor beware:
it may be me – Please take care.

If you’re on the road on either two wheels or four today, please stay safe.
In the picture I was about to pull onto the road from the field track. The bike half-hidden had slowed down for the corner and was driving with great care, unlike the following four.

Mutual Benefits!

Posted on March 13, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It’s Monday morning, the weather is mild and dry and all is well in the kitchen! The three dogs have been out, saluted the morning and are now glued to the warm Aga. The puppy (who we hope will soon grow up) is sharing a bed with our pensioner. They seem to have bonded well…

Our boisterous puppy,
likes to be seen,
with our old dog,
who’s seventeen!
Unfortunately,
it looks and appears,
she ignores his wisdom,
from all those years!
She rushes around,
our fenced garden,
crashes into him,
never says ‘pardon!’
Though when she settles,
not on full throttle,
she makes an excellent,
hot water bottle!

Have a great week, see you again tomorrow!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22^nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Rusty Brain Test!

Posted on March 10, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

My rusty old brain is complaining of overload as I prepare to take my PA6A test to qualify me to use a knapsack sprayer. Of course I’ve been using one since dinosaurs ruled the earth, but nowadays to comply with regulations, you have to have specific paper qualifications. So this afternoon I shall be at the mercy of an examiner who isn’t allowed to take my advanced years into account…

I’m busy revising this morning,
hoping to do my best,
later today I’ll be nervous,
when taking my PA6A test.
I’ve used a knapsack sprayer,
(‘grandfather rights’ are withdrawn these days)
my granddaughter thinks it’s hilarious,
“Back to school with you!” she says.

Have a great weekend. Why not take out your qualifications and give them a polish!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22^nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Disappearing Snowdrops

Posted on March 9, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Snowdrops are always such a welcome sight. When they first appear they offer hope for the new year and signal hope that spring is coming. When they are on the way out they look rather sad as their job is done for another year and other flowers take their place. Their role as talisman is one of sacrifice as the gardener anticipates fetching the mower from the shed…

The snowdrops that grow upon the lawn,
are starting to look rather forlorn.
Not long now they’ll disappear,
only to return next year.
Who knows what strife or joy there’ll be?
I guess we’ll have to wait and see!

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life