Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life

48 Hours Drone Flying!

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Yesterday I passed 48 hours flying time in my drone flight logbook. Surprisingly on my test flight yesterday (having updated the operating system), my normal ‘flight-mate’ Rodney the Red Kite was absent. However I think he’d passed on the responsibility as the drone was mocked by pigeons who took great delight in flying dangerously close…

It’s very satisfying,
having updated your drone,
you venture for a test flight,
and don’t crash it while at home!

You look for your flight-mate,
he’s nowhere to be seen,
he’s delegated some pigeons,
who fly like Steve McQueen!

How I didn’t hit them,
pluck them in the air,
dancing around the sky,
like feathered Fred Astaire!

Happy and safe drone flying out there!
A big thank-you to RUSTA for the excellent training which made me a safer flyer and enabled me to reach the hallowed turf of 48hrs flying time. 

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK 22nd APRIL
From April 22nd to mid October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Hibernating Hornets!

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The other day I was splitting wood on the log splitter. Part of the tree that I was splitting was rotten to the point where the wood under a part of the bark could have been described as being ‘earthy’. It was in one of these sections that I discovered hibernating hornets. This discovery led me to ponder my previous meeting with these vicious insects…

Many years ago on the island of Malta,
A young cadet’s future did nearly falter.
Out on the range grasping a sub-machine gun,
I didn’t see the hornet but was stung on the bum!

“Safety catch off” was my last fainting shout,
as I slid to the floor I had passed out,
The machine gun on auto I didn’t hear,
As bullets screamed past the surprised sergeant’s ear!

So when I found hornets while splitting firewood,
I dispatched the hibernators, as I knew I should.
To safeguard my family when in front of the fire,
no guilt did I feel remembering that ancient live fire!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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non-P.C. Pancake!

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Yesterday was Shrove Tuesday, here in the UK (and possibly where you live too?) it was also Pancake Day. While we rarely eat them at other times, we make up with pancake-gluttony on this particular day and they are my granddaughters firm favourite. One such day, when our children were small, while I was out on the snowplough, my mother-in-law spent over an hour at a pancake production line feeding them and many of their friends who could not pass the farm drive due to the depth of snow on the road. Everyone has a different topping, Personally I await a visit from the Politically-Correct Diet Police…

In my defence it’s just once a year,
a family tradition at that!
But on my pancake I have Golden Syrup,
I plead guilty as to the fact.
A little lemon to add some bitter,
some butter – guilty again!
But under ‘mitigating circumstances’
it’ll be a year before I do it again!

…and today’s another day!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Tuesday Morning Panic!

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Tuesday mornings always involve some element of panic as Mrs Bard and I are responsible for a school run. Years ago when this was an everyday occurrence it posed no threat to order. However as now I’m fulfilling grandfatherly duties it spells panic as I rush around, although the hens on the farm don’t understand…

“There he goes a-rushing round,
don’t see his feet touch the ground,
if he were like us he’d know,
to take life gently as we go!
He’s let out the dogs, rushed up the drive,
very soon his charge will arrive.
The geese and we, wait patiently,
will we get breakfast? We’ll wait and see!”

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Spring Cleaning!

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I’m often being asked, ‘What do you do during the winter?’. One important job is to deep-clean the grain store. Once this is done it can be inspected and we can be ‘Crop Assured’. This means every load of crop that leaves the farm can carry a ‘Crop Assured’ sticker on the paperwork. That load will be traceable, at any stage, back to this farm and the customer can be assured that I’ve done things right and followed all the rules…

For the last few weeks,
we have been,
giving the grain store,
its annual deep clean.
First we sweep,
then sweep again,
not a bad job,
during winter rain.
Elevators, tunnels,
conveyors too,
all have to be clean,
almost as new!
Then it’s inspected,
to make sure it’s clean,
and we can sell crops,
so traceability’s seen!
So that’s why my hair looks so grey, it doesn’t need colouring, it’s just dust. (That’s my explanation and I’m sticking to it!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Using Your Oko!

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The first time I heard the phrase ‘Get your Oko up’ was when I worked on a Cambridgeshire farm in the seventies. The phrase meant to use anger to accomplish a job that was either unpleasant or needed extra strength. Yesterday I had one of those jobs to do and used anger to help me…

I had some sawn up logs to move,
nobody near – nothing to prove,
and so I needed extra strength,
for large cut rounds and corded length

Before I started a cold-call rude,
helped to put me in the mood,
and as I lifted the heavy wood,
my back was questioning if I should!

I remembered something that made me cross,
the wood became light as candy floss!
All I can say it goes to show,
use up that Oko you’ll be nice to know!

Have a good day and use that Oko to the best effect!
© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Monday Morning Mess!

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Monday mornings always seem to come as a shock. Despite knowing for many hours that it was on its way it still surprises. In our case it doesn’t help that we have a naughty puppy that’s not a puppy anymore. All the food she inhails seems to turn to naughtiness in her stomach. Then when she is caught being bad she puts on ‘sorry’ display to rival that of a West-End actor…

Monday morning the kitchen’s a mess,
the puppy had gone berserk,
bed-stuffing was scattered all over the room,
and I had to get to work.
“Bad Puppy!” I whispered under my breath,
“Grrr, you are so bad!”
and then I gave her a biscuit,
my telling off made her look sad!
So on my hands and knees to tidy,
before coffee or cereal or toast,
and suddenly I had a lick on my nose,
it seems she loves me the most!

Enjoy your Monday, stay safe and happy out there!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Spring Seed!

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All our spring-sown seed is now in the barn ready for drilling. There is always a fair amount of luck involved when choosing varieties. Despite all the evidence from producer, seller, research establishments or agronomist, you never know just how a new variety will suit your soil. Both of our spring varieties we grew last year with reasonable results, so here we go again…

Spring is around the corner,
we know that it is near,
because we’ve had deliveries,
all the spring-sown seed is here.

Six tons of Canyon Spring Oats,
Eight tons of Vertigo Beans,
the oats will be for breakfast,
the beans will make proteins.

But first we need dry weather,
I once knew a man called Fred,
who said to me many years ago:
“Seed will never grow in the shed!”

Enjoy a great weekend wherever you are and whatever you’re doing.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Oats Away!

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The last of the harvest of 2016 has left the farm. The final 12 tons of oats that had been swept up and loaded onto our trailer, left on a lorry yesterday lunchtime. To ease loading time they were tipped from the trailer into the pit, up the elevator, out of the spout and into the lorry, quicker than sweeping while the lorry waited…

Sitting in the shed,
for a week or more,
a trailer-load of oats,
swept up from the floor
Mick from L&H,
rang to see if I,
was available to load them,
I soon said “Oh yes, aye!”
I tipped the golden oats,
into the pit to load,
and within a lunchtime hour,
they were going down the road!
I’m not sure where they’re going,
in whose packaging they’ll be,
maybe you’ll see our oats for breakfast,
or have oaty oatcakes for your tea!

With thanks once again to Mick and all the drivers at L&H Haulage and all at Fengrain (the grain cooperative that markets all our grain), for their continued patience and support during difficult times. BB

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Luckiest Hare

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I’ve always been fond of hares, they are such gently lolliping creatures. Ever since I avidly awaited the weekly comic ‘Harold Hare’ as a five-year-old, they have been my favorite wild animal. Up to this year we even had thirty acres of grass especially put aside for them to make a habitat. The other evening, by braking heavily, I just managed to avoid killing one on the road…

The luckiest hare in Hertfordshire,
had a nasty surprise,
he stepped off the roadside verge,
and couldn’t believe his eyes!
Bearing down upon him,
on my way back from the shops,
I only just avoided him,
his luck never stops!
He raced across the road,
towards the closed boot sale site,
he’s got an appointment at the opticians,
to check his poor eyesight

Unfortunately we are also plagued in this area with illegal hare coursers who seem hell-bent on wiping these gentle creatures out in the name of ‘sport and gambling’.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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