The Wonder of Drones!

Posted on February 8, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Hardly a day goes by at the moment when the ‘Wonder of Drones’ isn’t trumpeted by the media. Whether it is delivering relief supplies after a disaster, crop spraying difficult to reach areas of fields or even acting as a personal transport system, the drone is heralded as the answer of the future. As a result I have given my UAV a talking to as it didn’t seem to be pulling its weight…

I sat my drone down for a chat,
“Now listen here I said,”
it’s time that you pulled your weight,
and earned your daily bread!”

So I gave it just a small list to do,
“Go overfly that crop,”
and a few things that I wanted,
from the local convenience shop!

“Then there’s this parcel,
I need to post today,
call in on Aunty Mabel,
and check that she’s OK!”

Later I couldn’t find my drone,
wasn’t hidden in the trees,
but sulking at the take-off point,
I’d forgotten to say please!

Needless to say my trusty drone obeys my every command and is my right-hand-mavic on the farm!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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Back to the Classroom!

Posted on February 1, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Wednesday February 1st will go down in history as the day sprayer-trainer Gary Lander attempted the impossible – namely getting yours truly ready for a PA6 Sprayer Test. Unfortunately, despite making copious notes, I am not confident that I will pass the test in a couple of weeks time. Methinks I should start to look for ye-olde-lucky-rabbit-foot before it’s too late…

Today I’ve spent most of the day in school,
seeing if they could teach new tricks to this fool,
I’ve used a knapsack sprayer for many years,
I’ve not been certified or so it appears.
So I joined a group of farmers in a class,
to prepare for a test I hope I’ll pass,
If I pass (and it will take a wing and a pray-er)
I’ll legally use my knapsack sprayer!
Thanks to Gary and all at North Herts Farmers, also to all the other farmers for putting up with me! Good luck to all taking any test of any sort today, I know you’ll pass!

The Sign Of Old Age!

Posted on January 31, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

The other day I had a family outing to Luton. I hear you saying, “Luton, why Luton?” We went along with my 4 year-old granddaughter to Stockwell Discovery Centre: museums, exhibitions, gardens and excellent cafe! (If you find yourself with some time to spare in the area, I highly recommend a visit) On the way around the museum (where I saw many displays I remember from my youth!), I saw a sign that I should have worn around my neck just a few days before…

January’s a strange month,
on an arable farm,
mostly office-bound,
manual work hurts the arm!
If you have a busy day,
you tend to feel your age,
end up bent in half,
like an ancient Roman sage!
But in Stockwood Museum,
a sign I liked so much,
“I am old…
…Please do not touch!”

If you’re bending or lifting today, please take care, you’re not as young as you used to be!

Small Room Reading!

Posted on January 30, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Every so often I get a polite sales call from Kate who works for an agricultural supply firm called Spaldings. Most times I thank her for the call and attempt to convince her that the catalogue is always by my side. The other day I was consulting the tome whilst doing other things and it got left behind. The catalogue was discovered later in the smallest room…

Many farmers read,
Whilst on ‘the throne’
farming magazines,
or those for the home!
A recent guest,
(agri-knowledge sparse!)
said he’d enjoyed,
my book of spare parts!

So Kate from Saplings,
just to show,
Your catalogue’s found,
Where others don’t go!

With best wishes to all at Spaldings and all other supply companies on this January morning.

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Risk Assessment!

Posted on January 25, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday I had a visit from two members of staff from a local school to look at our woodland prior to visits from their school. It was a fine afternoon, the late January sun shone and the local deer put on a display of synchronised-running-away for us. When I returned to the office I updated my risk assessment from topics discussed on the walk. I’m a great believer in risk assessments as they do more to get you thinking about dangers than pure legislation. So with apologies to the writer of ‘Teddy Bear’s Picnic’…

If you go down to the woods today
You’re sure of a big surprise
For you will find lurking there
Risks you’ll not realise
Trip hazards abound
Where brambles are found
You find yourself flat on the ground
Another risk for your risk assessment!

Have a good Wednesday and stay safe out there!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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The Baldock Boot Sale
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BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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Under Observation!

Posted on January 23, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

I was sent to fetch a few items from our local supermarket. Alas this simple task with list is an almost impossible task as my ‘Oh look, there’s a squirrel’ mind is easily distracted. I was just contemplating a purchase for the next big event in April when I felt I was being watched…

My shopping list had three items,
cream, salt and some butter,
“this can’t possibly be just all,”
I was heard to mutter!
I reached an aisle full of chocolate,
‘Think Easter’ it seemed to say,
I felt I was under observation,
so guiltily I walked away!

I recently read that scientists have discovered that chocolate is better for you than traditionally thought. I now have a medical excuse to return!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The JCB Loadall’s Unique Job!

Posted on January 20, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Our farm’s JCB Loadall has been used for many operations. From loading grain, mending fences, hoisting people up to clean gutters to rescuing my drone from a tree and loading fertiliser and seed. Yesterday saw it on an unique mission…

From the Loadall:
“I never know what I’m going to do,
It leads to an interesting life,
most of the time I’m around the farm,
with Farmer Bard or his wife!
But sometimes I have an interesting job,
I’ve never done before,
yesterday I took a new altar to church,
(I was to large to get through the door!)
I carried it down to the church on my tines,
taking care to not let it fall
they then carried it through the church door,
a unique job for a yellow Loadall”.

Have any of your farm implements ever partaken in a unique mission? Maybe your Landrover is crying out for something new or your tractor yearns to turn new corners!
© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Shepherd’s Delight!

Posted on January 19, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday evening I watched with wonder as nature put on a wonderful light show. For some reason I thought of shepherds and their skills of forecasting weather. Sometimes it is simply impossible to improve on old sayings or verse by others, so this morning I shall repeat a verse by that famous poet, Anon:

Red sky at night,
shepherd’s delight,
Red sky in the morning,
shepherd’s warning,
Minced lamb and mashed potato,
shepherds pie!

Wishing all shepherds out there a very good morning, may your huts be cozy and your pie tasty! Thanks to Anon for the verse!

Baldock Bard

For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Marital Differences in the Bathroom!

Posted on January 17, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

In every good marriage there are differences between parties. Some are tolerated and some drive the partner screaming from the room at warp speed ten! I am lucky that in the bathroom, Mrs Bard puts up with my strange behaviour…

I like to lie in a bath,
Mrs Bard hops into a shower,
she takes just minutes,
I can soak for an hour!
When I get out my aches are all gone,
My knees and elbows are great,
But my supper can be rather cold,
After a long time on the plate!

Whether shower or bath… enjoy!

The Art of Saving Fingers!

Posted on January 11, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday afternoon I chopped some kindling for our log-burner with my hand-axe as I was too lazy to fetch the tractor and log-splitter from the shed. As I was wielding the hatchet, I remembered to hold the log with a small stick and remembered an old farmworker, who showed me many years ago how to save fingers…

There’s something quite therapeutic,
Chopping kindling with a small axe,
So long as you remember your fingers,
They don’t care for bladed attacks!

On a farm when I was not twenty,
If working near a wood with a gang,
First thing Old Frank would chop firewood,
“We need to keep warm if we can!”

He’d cut a small stick as ‘a holder’,
To safely hold the wood (always planned!),
Then down would crash the billhook,
And his fingers would remain on his hand!

Wednesday Safety Alert: Be careful out there if using an axe today.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life

The Wonder of Drones!

Back to the Classroom!

The Sign Of Old Age!

Small Room Reading!

The Risk Assessment!

Under Observation!

The JCB Loadall’s Unique Job!

Shepherd’s Delight!

Marital Differences in the Bathroom!

The Art of Saving Fingers!