Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life

Pre-Christmas Germs!

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poorlyMy laptop has been misbehaving recently and the webmeister has resorted to turning off my e-mail account. Apparently it had a virus, so it’s a case of antibiotics until it is better. I hadn’t even noticed it sniffling or sneezing although at times it seemed to be a bit down and low…

My silver laptop is my friend,
but it drives me around the bend!
recently a virus lurked inside,
sent spurious e-mails far and wide,
but now it’s better (or so I think!),
medicine twice a day to drink,
so if strange e-mals from me received,
it’s just more rubbish to be disbelieved!

Have a good day and keep away from those pre-Christmas germs!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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The Slow Goose-Step!

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geesesOur guard-geese are behaving strangely again! Yesterday they attempted to impede a friends progress down the drive, which she filmed and posted. A comment suggested that it was because they were in no hurry to get to the farm because of the impending Christmas. I would suggest it’s because they are old, tough and awkward…

Christmas is coming,
the geese don’t give a damn,
they know they’re too tough,
and we’ll be eating ham!
They hold up the traffic,
on the drive to the farm,
they’re on a goose go-slow,
no sense of alarm.
After Christmas,
they’ll still act loud and shirty,
thanking their god,
they’re geese and not turkey!

With thanks to Dolly’s mummy for the picture and inspiration!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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Truck Causes Chaos and Joy!

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coca-cola-truckLast night I drove into Baldock to see the Coca-Cola Truck. Yes! I know I’m bonkers, but I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. The town was gridlocked and I began to rehearse my old-man’s ‘Bah Humbug’ routine. I managed to park and walked over towards the Coca-Cola truck. It was rather like walking in a vast crowd towards a football stadium, except for the number of excited children (by the time we arrived at the truck I was excited too!)…

The Coca-Cola truck’s in town,
the traffic’s gridlocked all around,
but once you see the children’s amazes,
you’ll put away those Grinch-like faces!
Because as all have come to know,
children’s Christmas is Santa and snow,
and I should recon for many a year,
they’ll remember when ‘The Truck’ was here!

I realize it is a clever marketing ploy, but to see the joyous faces of the children of Baldock was wonderful!
coke-truck2© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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Out with the Spade!

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The Press at Sunset!

The Press at Sunset!

Sometimes in farming everything goes well, this is normally the prelude for a disaster! There is nothing more soul-destroying than blocking up disc-wheels when cultivating after a period of uninterrupted flow. The machine has lulled you into a false sense of security and well-being and then ‘Wallop!’, the large steel discs at the rear block up with mud! On our clay soil any wet patch will bring forth the claggiest lumps that you’d have trouble separating from a carpet! There must be a scientific application…

Things are going well,
you’re working the land.
That’s time for everything,
To get out of hand.
You drive through a wet patch,
chancing your luck,
the disks stop turning,
They are blocked up!

Out of the cab,
grab spade and a bar,
it’s worse than it looks
the worst blockage so far!
Some time later,
It is now dark,
You’ve chipped out some soil,
have you made your mark? 

You try moving again,
How far, will it go?
You soon discover,
The answer is No!

So it’s out with the spade…!
blocked© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
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The Difference ‘Twixt Grass and Wheat!

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deer4JPGOne of my favourite occupations is to sit at the window, look across towards the wood, and watch wild deer graze the meadow. The other day, (just before the Mavic drone nested in a tree), I was watching a small herd of deer grazing wheat. This was in a field that used to be temporary grassland in an environmental scheme. So despite the damage I cannot be cross as they obviously thought I’d re-drilled a different type of grass…

The deer took no notice,
of the buzzing drone above;
it might just as well have been Santa,
or a peaceful collar-dove!
They just continued munching,
on my emerging wheat,
I was torn between,
admitting joy or just defeat!
They are such peaceful creatures,
who wander through our farm,
they seek shelter in our woods,
I’ll not do them any harm.

The only reassurance I repeat:
Please eat my grass and not my wheat!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
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From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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Old-Man Planned!

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DCIM100MEDIADJI_0096.JPGI was filming with my drone the other day (before it nested in a tree) and ended up with a picture of a small spinney on the boundary of our farm. Because it nestles in the valley it mainly goes un-noticed unless you’re either working that field or driving up the single-track road beside it. However it has family history…

We have a little spinney,
on the boundary of our land,
once it was a ‘Chalk Pit’
it’s being was ‘Man Planned’
In the Sixties, my father,
planted up this piece of land,
So that I can always say,
it’s ‘My Old Man Planned!’

If you have a chance to leave a man-made legacy for future generations, grab the opportunity with both hands. It’s an opportunity that few of us get and no matter if you are gone and your name is forgotten, your legacy lasts. Go on – be daring – plant a tree before your day is done!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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The Nesting Mavic Drone!

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nesting-mavicThe other afternoon I flew my UAV to capture pictures of the late autumnal colours in our woodland. ‘Nothing difficult there’ you may be thinking, the trees are hardly likely to run away or dive behind each other to avoid the camera. However I noticed during the flight that a herd of deer had appeared. Wanting to see how close I could get to them before they ran I manoeuvred the drone closer and closer until suddenly and without warning the drone activated RTH (or return to home!). Whoops!…

“Returning to home,”
said the drone,
as it turned and started to fly,
“That’s OK!'”
I was heard to say,
before saying simply “Goodbye!”

Off it went,
electronically sent,
flying over the wood.
I didn’t see,
the tallest tree,
but it’s forward sensors could.

It suddenly froze,
then arose,
perched on a branch above!
When it was found,
high off the ground,
too high to give a shove!

Russell tried to climb,
but after time,
couldn’t reach the UAV
John then came,
with bamboo cane,
from the cage on the JCB!

It now knows,
not to nest like crows
and the height of the tallest tree!
I once again think,
the weakest link,
without a doubt is ME!

The Rescuers!

The Rescuers (with Bamboo)!

I was lucky, the damage amounted only to four new propellors. I now know not to laugh at drone crashes on YouTube, as it can happen to anyone!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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The Puppy Plumber!

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puppy-plumberThe other day I was attempting some amateur plumbing (or ‘Amateur Dramatics’ as Mrs Bard would say!). I realise I am getting old and tools have a habit of playing Hide and Seek, only to be discovered weeks or months later, but on this occasion tools were disappearing quicker than if someone had shouted ‘Fire!’…

I was on my back under the sink,
attempting to fit a new tap,
when all of a sudden tools went astray,
“Who on earth’s taken that?”

The spanner I’d used a minute before,
a wrench, washer and pipe,
all had completely gone from view,
with a cloth (handy to wipe!).

Then there came a yap from next door,
like a puppy laughing at me!
There in her bed lay my missing tools,
she looked as smug as a puppy could be!

Puppies can be fun but they can also interrupt your day in ways you could never imagine – you have been warned!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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New Dog Old Tricks!

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old-dogThey say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. What they never tell you is that an old dog excels in teaching a new dog old tricks! Our old terrier, Chip, is very old and takes great pleasure in watching our puppy misbehave…

Our old dog,
sits upon the furniture,
looking down his nose,
as the puppy runs around.
Our small puppy,
climbs upon the furniture,
she enjoys climbing,
chewing cushions that she’s found!
Our old dog,
smiles down from the furniture,
knowing that his naughtiness,
will always be around!
chip-pupGive your dog an extra treat today for being… your dog!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Long Queue!

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img_2265The other day Mrs Bard and I joined a queue behind two tractors that lasted many miles. There was no overtaking, even though we passed many places where the two tractors could have pulled in to let the queue pass. This was all the more frustrating as we were in 4th place! When I looked in the rear-view mirror, the traffic behind stretched as far as I could see. Mrs Bard said it was probably a good exercise for me to be on the other side of the fence for a change, a charge I disputed as I always try my best to pull in wherever possible when driving my tractor…

If you’re in a rush,
if you’re in a hurry,
There will be a hold-up,
it’s Sod’s Law – don’t you worry!
It may be a lorry,
it could be a bus,
or possibly two tractors,
you can’t make a fuss!
Sometimes you’re at the back,
sometimes at the front,
when you finally get to pass,
you may curse their selfish stunt!
It is most frustrating,
it is never fun,
but ‘Karma’ gets them in the end,
you’ll never know you’ve won!

I hope there are no hold-ups in your day today and none caused by a farmer. We are only Son’s of the Soil, so blame me!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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