Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life

Rainy Days and Mondays!

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rainbow-23Do you sometimes find that Mondays can be tough when you’ve been away? This morning I shall probably have to jump start myself in order to have any chance of achieving anything. It doesn’t help that my prayers have finally been answered in the weather department, showing up leaking gutters and blocked drains…

Monday morning work again,
dark dank morning pouring with rain!
Last month I prayed for raindrops to plop,
now I fear it won’t know when to stop!
Just shows ‘be careful for what you ask’,
for nature may take you to task,
so looking towards the sky refrain,
from shouting loudly: “Where’s my rain?”

Have a great Monday, just ignore the rain, it’s my fault, I’m sorry! Have a rainbow to brighten your day!

© Baldock Bard 2016
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Fields of Brown!

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Photo from new DJI Mavic Drone

Photo from new DJI Mavic Drone

By this stage in the autumn an arable farmer’s fields should be green with winter wheat. Ours are still brown (when seen from the drone). The lack of rain has postponed emergence in parts of the fields and we were desperate for rain. Having had almost no decent rainfall for 66 days the heavens opened overnight…

Putting out the puppy,
early in the morning,
I wondered why my hair was wet,
without a hint of warning!

Then I realised with a shock,
the rain was pouring down,
I almost danced a jig right there,
in my dressing gown!

16 millimetres in the gauge,
that’s a good start for ten!
I grabbed the naughty puppy,
and went back to bed again!

091116© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
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On The Doorstep!

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bootsI wonder what’s on your doorstep these days? There is unlikely to be a milk bottle in a carrier with an adjustable number to show pints needed from the milkman. it is also doubtful that there is a boot jack and scraper as we all live antiseptic lives, with car-carpet to house-carpet on nice clean concrete. Our farmhouse doorstep can be shambolic…

They’ve been for a walk I see,
discarded wellies, A-B-C!
They are left where they fell,
will they be removed who can tell!
But it’s a sign,
we all can see,
our daughter’s family,
has come to tea!

…and it’s a wonderful sight! If you have visitors today, enjoy!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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The Dashing Deer!

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deer-jump-picThere are times when a picture isn’t worth a thousand words. The other day Mrs Bard and I were driving down a narrow country road when suddenly a deer leapt out from behind a hedge, and with no regard to the finer points of the Highway Code, ran across the road in front off the car. This was caught on the Dashcam but lacked any Hollywood action…

The Dashcam was ready to capture evidence,
when the deer jumped over the roadside fence,
all the action was ‘caught on card’
claiming for this would have been very hard!
The ‘other driver’ was uninsured,
would have sped off before getting bored,
A simple photo has somewhat masked it,
“What was that? Damn and Blast-it!”
But nothing happened no contact made,
So just a deer picture I’m afraid,
but much relief upon my part,
an un-injured deer did depart!

If you’re driving along a country road, please be aware that you might come across a dashing deer. Please stay safe out there.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
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From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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The Doctor Says…!

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pl5There is an old joke where a doctor is seeing a patient before surgery: “I’m pleased to say, Mr Jones, that after surgery you’ll be able to play the violin.” “That’s remarkable doctor, that’s one thing I couldn’t do before!” Yesterday I went ploughing with my recently repaired tractor and achieved the neatest ploughing ever. I had to record the moment with my camera. Maybe it has something to do with the ‘Tractor-Doctors’ who effected the repair…

I looked behind from the tractor seat,
the furrows I could see were straight and neat,
I could ‘see’ a big cup in a ploughing match,
(turned out to be tea, not a good catch!)
I took a photo it was such a surprise,
shame that the sun had been in my eyes!
Looking at the photo on the computer screen,
was like the big fish the fisherman’s never seen!
So I’ve not sent off the ploughing match’s entry letter
for fear of the reply – ‘Could do better!’

If you’re driving past the farm, please don’t judge the ploughing on School Field, or if you do, please be kind and pretend it’s not mine!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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Coming Home!

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fastrac-roadYesterday I went to fetch my repaired tractor, it was as if an old friend had been away on holiday! The tractor-doctors had worked their magic and it drove as if new! Now I can rush around again, finish the ploughing, do some grass topping and put her back into the barn for the winter…

Picked up an old friend from near Luton Airport,
She looks good from her holiday or so I thought!
We drove back through Offley and then through Hitchin,
performance was good – no scratching or itching!
Until distracted by the radio putting the world to rights,
I went and stalled the tractor at busy traffic lights!
I’d been thinking I looked cool in my farmer’s hat,
I now knew I’d overstepped the mark …I just looked a prat!

Thanks to all who managed to get the tractor repaired in time to get the ploughing done before rain and to Jonny who made it sparkle like new!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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Urgent Upgrade For: Daughter App!

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matiParents who have downloaded the app: DAUGHTER, are advised to install this latest update. This includes a short guide to dealing with a new virus that could turn your lovely, beautiful, charming darling into a snarling spiteful monster when a particular ‘software’ request goes unheeded…

Various methods to diagnose the presence of ‘WANT PUPPY!’ in your daughter:

  1. Drop the word ‘PUPPY’ into conversation …Observe reaction.
  1. Unveil picture of ‘PUPPY’ …Observe reaction.
  1. Check internet browsing history for ‘PUPPY’ …Observe reaction.
  1. Check cellphone for message including ‘PUPPY’ …Observe reaction.

Don’t fall for light discussion regarding ‘PUPPY’, it is dangerous and could lead to…

THE NEXT STAGE

These vital signs shouldn’t be missed:

  1. The Plea: “Can we go and see a PUPPY?”
  1. The Excuse: “We don’t have to have the first PUPPY we see!”
  1. The Bluff: “We’ll just be looking at PUPPY!”

It is important that before you go to “just look” at PUPPY you check for unusual signs:

  • For the first time ever there is a hidden blanket in the car and snow is not forecast for the next few months.
  • Tins of food with PUPPY on the label have appeared in the cupboard next to the breakfast cereal.
  • PUPPY MONTHLY suddenly appears on the mat alongside the daily newspaper.
  • The neighbours have started erecting a dog-proof fence.
  • The council sends six men in high-vis to attach a dog-poo bin to the lamppost outside your house.
  • Old newspapers have been hoarded in the garage rather than being put out with the recycling.

Ignore these vital signs at your peril as ignorance could lead to…

THE FINAL OUTCOME…

You find yourself with

ONE OF THESE…

puppy…A PUPPY!

It’s cute, it’s soft, it’s charming and lovely… just like your daughter!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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The Last Hurrah Before Winter!

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DCIM100MEDIADJI_0066.JPGYesterday late-afternoon as the sun was going down I realised that the colour of the trees had suddenly turned autumnal. So out with my trusty drone and up to the wood behind the farm. In the golden light of sunset the differing colours were magnified to give a most unusual view…

The golden light of sunset,
plays upon the wood,
the changing leaves of autumn,
look quite unlike they should!
We’ve grown up to think one way,
that all the leaves turn brown,
before they disengage,
and float gently to the ground.
Sometimes we don’t take notice,
of views around our home,
sometimes we need a different view:
the view from air by drone!

Enjoy the Autumn colours around, the last ‘Hurrah!’ before Winter.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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Drone On The Roof!

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rooffall3Yesterday I had a minor crash with my UAV (Drone) and it looked spectacular. Losing concentration I tried to land it on the roof of the stables from where it fell unceremoniously to the ground. Suddenly a song by the Drifters came into my mind and I now can’t shift it: ‘Up On The Roof!” Four new propellers and two prop guards later all was well…

When your drone starts foolin’ around,
and misbehaves in front of your face
it climbs up higher than our stairs,
and all my training falls right into place!
On the roof, no landing place to be,
the landing zone is as hard as hard can be!
Let me tell you now,

When I pick up the pieces of my drone,
I carry it back to the table at home (it hit the roof!)
I get away from the accident site
And think about the excuse I can use (it hit the roof!)
On the roof the only place I know,
Where drones that land make up a good show!
Let’s not land on the roof! (up on the roof!)

The damage wasn’t as bad as it could be,
and from the picture you can clearly see,
I keep a telling you… (repeat from top!)

With apologies to the Drifters for borrowing their melody, please can you take it back now?

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Ploughing Match

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ploughing-matchThese days farmers have a choice of cultivation methods to choose from. There’s No-Till where seeds are planted by the drill into stubble, Min-Till where only light cultivations precede the drill and finally the traditional Plough-cultivate-drill. The plough is now seldom seen in action on the farm. It’s expensive in both wearing parts, fuel and most of all, time. Ironically I’ve done more ploughing this year than ever before, but then, what do I know about anything? The skill of ploughing is maintained by the countryside’s hidden sport of the Ploughing Match. Friend Ian took along his vintage crawler tractor and plough (my plough stayed at home so I didn’t advertise my lack of skill!)…

The art of the ploughman is kept alive,
when to the ploughing match tractors arrive.
They plough an opening furrow long and straight,
this is then judged a nerve-wracking wait.
Then off to the neighbour’s furrow in with the plough,
and slowly start ploughing, is it level now?
Adjustments are made to furrow, width and pitch,
concentrate now and stop before ditch!
The last furrow should match up well with your first,
then it’s off to the beer tent to satisfy your thirst!

With thanks to Ian and Charlotte for the photo, and best of luck to the winners who go onto the next level. I shall return to my plough and pretend I have the skill.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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