Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life

Monday Morning Motivation!

Posted on by
Share

When walking up to the workshop to fetch a power tool I noticed the yard had weeds growing out of every crack in the concrete. This never happened when the farmyard was busy, so it’s out with the knapsack sprayer as there’s no better time than right now (and conditions were perfect: sunshine and dry with no wind)…

An under-used farmyard grows only weeds,
hustle and bustle is what it needs.
Tractors rushing to and fro,
collecting machines and off they go!
Lorries arriving for a loads of grain,
intense activity ‘till they’re gone again.
There’s now no fertiliser nor bags of seed,
any rushing around there’s no need.
So when the farmer’s no longer a player
it’s out to the farmyard with his knapsack sprayer

Have a great Monday! I wish you flowers not weeds in your day today!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

Share

One of These…!

Posted on by
Share

One of these is not like the rest. We have a small white duck on the farm who suffers from ‘Species Confusion’. Wherever the geese go, there is a small Jemima Duddlepuck following on behind. When the geese honk, there is a quack to be heard in there as well. She is one confused little duck, perhaps she needs counseling…

We have a duck,
who think’s she’s a goose,
she suffers species confusion,
may even think she’s called Bruce!

When she tries to be friendly,
they squawk and they hiss,
but she never gives up,
she’s one determined little Miss!

Enjoy your Thursday and remember there’s no shame in being different – We all are!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

Share

It’s a dogs life!

Posted on by
Share

I was looking through some recent photos and came across one that made me think. It came as a shock to suddenly realise that the dogs in this household don’t worry about anything. They have no worries about money, accommodation, jobs or clothes and have the ability to make their humans worry about them, even apologising to them if their dinner is late.I so want to be a dog…

She sits contented on the settee,
no real problems at all has she.
She sleeps with contentment every night,
only worries about what’s in her sight.
She often wonders ‘when’s my meal?’
no other troubles imagined or real.
As for housework she doesn’t care,
the sofa’s covered in her hair!
She’s so superior she doesn’t talk
sits by the door when she wants a walk!
If I had a choice a dog I’d be
…but only if my owner was me!

Have a great day and may all your worries evaporate!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


 

Share

Droning On!

Posted on by
Share

Yesterday two young ladies visited the farm from a famous farming publication to find out how and why I fly a drone. They were very patient with an old man and listened as I attempted to explain. Then we went out to a field where they ‘took to the skies’ and the drone behaved itself impeccably. I had forgotten how terrifying it is to be interviewed and may have ‘droned on’…

Two young ladies,
came to my home,
so they could discover,
how to fly a farming drone.
They were polite,
and didn’t ignore,
the bluster of a pensioner,
a proper droning bore!
We then adjourned,
out onto the farm,
where they tried flying,
with no sense of alarm.
Later as I sat,
in my father’s hospital room,
I decided there were worse ways,
to spend a sunny afternoon!

With thanks to Lucinda and Hannah for their remarkable patience!
I hope everyone has a great weekend – be kind to a pensioner, even when they drone on!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

Share

My Disruptive Drone Demon!

Posted on by
Share

Today I’m entertaining a journalist who wants to know about drone-use in agriculture and I’m running scared! Technology has the capability of letting you down at the most inopportune moments and despite immaculate preparations and training, it’s always best to expect the unexpected. I am convinced that there is a little demon who lives inside my drone, I call him ‘Landin’…

‘Landin’ lives inside my drone,
in a wire-like structure he calls his home.
At random moments he can deliver,
unexpected problems that make me shiver!
Some months ago I can’t think why,
he took control made it “no fly!”
As trees appeared in its flight path,
I could hear his screeching demonic laugh.
You’ve got all ready for a flight,
‘Firmware Upgrade Needed’ it’s just not right.
If someone’s watching (not a show),
a helicopter appears flying low.
So my fingers are crossed for today,
I just hope the little demon’s away!

What my little demon hasn’t yet appreciated is that I had good training thanks to Sion and the good guys at RUSTA (https://www.rustauas.com) and so whenever anything goes wrong I’m prepared, even if it results in a CVCS (Controlled Vertical Crash Solution!).

Have a great day and I hope your little demon stays away from whatever you’re doing today!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

 

Share

The Magical Lend!

Posted on by
Share

On Friday afternoon I hurried home from visiting my father in hospital and rushed up to the big barn. I admit I was like a little kid! There in the barn was a wonderful sight: a big green combine harvester! This harvest has been difficult following the loss of the arable acres, but to see this sight in the barn made me feel a bit like a proper farmer again! Ok, I’m only storing it for a neighbour until his wheat has gone, but it’s a grand feeling…

There in the barn,
I can’t believe my eyes,
a large green Claas Combine,
it’s like winning first prize!
I know it’s only for a while,
going back I don’t know when,
but I can imagine for a week or two,
that I’m a proper farmer again!

Big things please little minds!
Thanks to neighbour John for the temporary loan!
Have a great weekend everybody.
If I’m missing you know where I’ll be!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

Share

The First Blackberry of Autumn!

Posted on by
Share

Yesterday I was strimming some unruly brambles when I came across an early blackberry. Being one never to miss an opportunity to savour a moment, I took the photo above and then popped the fruit into my mouth. When any sweet fruit is verboten because of my diabetes, such a moment was evermore sweeter…

Yesterday I ate a blackberry,
the first of the season,
I picked it because it was ripe,
that was the only reason.
Once I had picked it,
seemed such a shame to waste,
I popped it In my mouth,
was rewarded by the taste.
T’was like the finest Merlot,
a vintage I am sure,
the only problem being,
it left me wanting more!
…and so I ate the other three!

Have a great day and enjoy the fruits of the fields!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD



Share

In Case of Emergency!

Posted on by
Share

What do you carry in your car in case of emergency? The other day I made an attempt to clear out the back of my trusty Mitsubishi Shogun Sport farm car. It was way overdue and I found myself troubling over what constituted important and was was superficial…

There’s a landing pad in the back of my car,
just in case my drone goes too far.
A wire hand winch to lift where I can’t,
a spade for planting a colourful plant.
Assorted tools for mending when stuff broke,
a spare high-vis from a car boot bloke.
There’s also a box of fencing nails,
a spare light-board in case one fails.
But most important a heap of loo rolls,
in case I’m frightened by zombies or trolls!
If none of them were in my car,
I’d need each one before I went far!

Have a good week and if you need any of the above you know where to call

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

Share

Heavy August Rain!

Posted on by
Share

Yesterday it rained! I’m not talking about a girlie titter after half a glass of sweet sherry but a full-on drunken oaf who can hardly stand on the way home after a night of non-stop ale drinking. This was something that we hadn’t seen for months and months. However I did manage to stop myself running naked through the stair-rods in celebration, instead I stayed indoors and ploughed through paperwork…

It’s raining elephants and hippos.
falling from the sky,
the brown scorched grass welcomes it,
as it’s parched and brown and dry.
The threat of wild fires lessens,
pressure on unharvested crops mounts,
and all I can do to celebrate,
is stay inside and do accounts!
Enjoy your day, looking good for the weekend!
Stay happy and safe.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 27th October 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

Share

Sending in ‘The Heavies’!

Posted on by
Share

Very occasionally we have a tenant in our light industrial workshops who expects continued occupation whilst withholding rent. If there is no communication or attempt to pay I have to take action. This happened for the first time in many years recently and so I was forced to send in ‘The Heavies’ otherwise known as Sumo…

“I can’t seem to enter my unit,
there’s something in the way,
I don’t seem to be able to shift it,
It weighs much more than hay!”

“There is a simple answer,
it involves a pound or two,
then my JCB will shift it,
hand the unit back to you.
‘Oh dear!’ you’ve mislaid your cheque book,
you’re waiting for others to pay,
your customers car is inside,
he can wait another day!”

“What? You’ve found some money?”
I say with thinly veiled shock!
“Your customer’s on his way,
I’ll remove the concrete block!”

Have a good day and may those who owe you money race to pay their dues!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

Share