Bill and the Daffodils!

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Bills DaffsThis year the Daffodils are flowering for what seems longer and longer. Having seen them first before Christmas in a shaded corner of the garden, they are still in bloom with some buds to come. That is apart from what used to be a large plot of them about forty-plus years ago. My mother was a most meticulous gardner and wouldn’t let the mower anywhere near the daffodils until they were completely over and then some…

Old Bill was sent to mow the grass,
a job he liked in many years past,
on the old tractor with the 6ft mower,
when driving that he was a goer!
Mowed the grass at the front of the farm,
Straight through the Daffodils no sense of alarm,
my mother told him straight, “they won’t come,
just think of future damage you’ve done.”
Bill with a shrug and shake of his head,
“they’ll be alright they won’t be dead!”
But to this day a patch isn’t right,
become known as Bill’s mowing sight!

Just to show the difference I’ve added a view from a plot next door! Both my mother and Bill have been dead for many years now, so I guess the difference is simply a memorial to poor communication!
Daffs 3
© Baldock Bard 2016
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The Kite and the Drone!

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KiteThe other day I was circling the farm with my drone and paying more attention to the screen and the crops than to my surroundings. When I replayed the footage later I noticed that a friend had joined the drone and had been swooping around it! Having seen footage on the Internet of drones being attacked, I counted my blessings that this was not an eagle…

Swooping gracefully around the skies,
the kite came across a strange bird!
Whereas the kite graceful flight sustained,
a buzzing of rotors could be heard!
The kite took a circle (or two) round this ‘thing’,
as it buzzed around (but not soared),
and with a measured slow flap of its wings,
flew away (in a short time) – just bored!

© Baldock Bard 2016
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Farmer Jack

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Welding 2In the real world, if something breaks on your bike/car/lorry/bus/train, you contact an expert who effects a repair. On the farm you drag out the welder and pray the repair holds until the job is done. You are a Jack (of all trades) and given a good dose of luck your bodge-job will hold for its intended duration…

Easter Saturday dawns and all is well,
you’re off to drill oats for porridge to sell.
Checking around the machine a marker’s broken,
rain is forecast don’t want a soakin’.
Out with the welder on with the hood,
“hope this holds must weld it good,”
at last it’s mended you sigh ‘phew!’
“Look at that skill it’s good as new!”
Out in the field the marker strains,
finished the field and then it rains!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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Spring Oats on Easter Saturday!

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March DustThere is an old country saying “A peck of March dust is worth a king’s ransom.” After dust in the early part of the week, some rain on Thursday night and extended sunshine on Good Friday, I’m hoping for perfect conditions when we sow oats this morning. Wish me luck, I’m going in…

Last week the dust rose
above the cultivator,
Nothing like March dust
as a motivator!
It gives you hope
that oats can be drilled,
So your spring sowing
can be fulfilled!
On Easter Saturday
we’ll be out in the field,
hopefully perfect conditions
for the oat yield.
The traffic will pass and children
may shout “thrilling!
There’s the Baldock Bard
finishing his drilling!”

Wishing you all a very Happy Easter.
Wherever you are, whoever you’re with, may your world have peace (or if you’re field is wet, dust!).

© Baldock Bard 2016
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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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When Beans Run Short!

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Drill 0316When you are drilling a crop there is always the chance of disaster in one or more ways. Running out of seed is possibly the most frustrating, especially when dry weather is not guaranteed. No seed left, on a Saturday, in March, is possibly the most alarming of circumstances. However sometimes luck just runs with you…

Saturday we went drilling,
I’d be lying if I said it was thrilling,
driving up and down,
putting beans in the ground,
from bags often we’d be filling.

However things went awry,
not the weather, that was so dry,
But for more bean seed,
there was a real need,
finally the drill just ran dry!

I texted the agronomist Monday morning,
“Things have gone well, but a warning!
of seed we are short,
thus the drilling abort,
can we fetch a full bag from Horning?”

Late last night we were done,
achieved under lights – no sun!
The beans are now in,
and I’ve got a grin,
I can at last say that drilling was fun!
Many thanks to agronomist David Short for saving the day with seed. It is also worth noting that the seed didn’t came from Horning, but I’m not clever enough to make anything Whittlesford!
© Baldock Bard 2016
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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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My dog and I like Rolling!

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Rolling 162My dog likes rolling. She will find something dead on the lawn or in the field and smother herself with its perfume. This results in a bath at the earliest possible opportunity. I like to roll and have a bath afterwards, but I do it for a different reason…

Up and down the field I go,
The rolls behind the tractor,
Compressing the seedbed for the crop,
A smelly coat not a factor.
The rolls are heard for some distance,
As up and down I drive,
The only reason I later lay in the bath,
Helps my aches and pains subside!
Rolling 16Concocted and written in the bath after rolling a field rather than rolling in a field!

© Baldock Bard 2016
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Muddy Fields!

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Wet FieldsFlying my drone recently I was shocked to see how wet the fields were.This is worse on land that is clay based, where water can’t soak through as easily as chalk or other ‘lighter’ soils. I know that it is too wet to do any preparations for planting spring crops, apply fertilizer or weed control on my farm, but I hadn’t appreciated just how wet some fields had become. This is particularly evident on the ‘headlands’ (outside 24 metres of fields, cropped, but where machinery turns). As you can imagine there are government regulations (called Cross Compliance) available for instances such as this…

The headland of the field is water-logged,
the rest of the field just wet,
It’s illegal to do operations,
‘Cross Compliance’ we mustn’t forget.

If you don’t treat the land right,
do operations when it’s flooded,
not only will you leave damage,
but your waters will always be muddied!

The drone has a negative footprint,
hovers above with ease,
it spots areas of concern,
but you have to watch out for trees!

Please don’t send any more rain for a while, I’d like my fields to dry out so I can plant my spring beans and oats. However, please don’t turn the tap off altogether as they’ll need watering once sown! 

© Baldock Bard 2016
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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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Spilling the Beans!

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Beans 2Tommy has helped on the farm for over fifty years. Now in his eighties he only comes in one morning a week. He is a godsend for when I need four hands rather than the usual two! More importantly though is his lifetimes experience and guidance. Recently he helped me put some beans in half-ton bags from the trailer. When I let go of the bag at the wrong moment he didn’t say a word…

Beans from the trailer,
went over the floor,
I let go of the bag,
that spilt some more!

I then shut the chute,
should have shut it before,
been around long enough,
to know the score!

Now I am sweeping,
boy! Am I sore!
Should have been no beans,
on the old shed floor!

It just goes to show that age and experience are valuable commodities! (I mean Tommy, not me!)

© Baldock Bard 2016
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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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The Olde Barn Door!

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Door HammerGive me a gun and I can’t hit the proverbial barn door. However give me a tractor and trailer and I have no problem at all! Unfortunately there are no excuses from my ‘Farmer’s Book of Big Excuses’ so I’ll just have to take it on the chin. Well almost…

The door to the shed is wide enough,
For most farm vehicles and all that stuff,
When I put my tractor into reverse,
All of a sudden my day becomes worse!

I looked in the mirrors on the tractor,
They were clean so not a factor,
Started reversing into the corner,
Heater was on but not like a sauna!

My mobile phone was in my pocket,
Started to ring I could not stop it!
Before I could see who had rang,
There was a loud and sudden bang!

Looked for damage on the trailer fender
All I could see was a sliding door bender!
You may think that farming’s all glamour,
I mended the damage with my ‘effin great hammer!

Take care when reversing, you never know what may be lurking behind you!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
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Snow-Day Saturday!

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Snow3“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,” so sang Johnny Mathis. Opening the curtains this morning I had a shock, followed by a rather unseasonal phone call. Of course all of you who know me here will realise that I’m always polite and so the caller went away to become a customer another day…

It’s snowing quite hard near Baldock,
not quite enough yet to ski,
No snowman-building is happening,
but give it an hour and we’ll see!
It sometimes snows in March,
mostly rain or hail,
had a phone call this morning,
“Sorry! There’s no boot sale!”

Have a great weekend and enjoy the white precipitation, shan’t rush to attach the snowplough just yet! FYI Baldock Boot Sale starts after Easter!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Back every Saturday after Easter 2016

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!

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