Buffet in the Barn!

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ThanksgivingYesterday our local church held the Harvest Thanksgiving Service in the barn on the farm. Unlike other countries, we lack a national day of thanksgiving. It was strange singing hymns and then enjoying a buffet lunch in a place where the only noise or action this morning will be of loading a lorry with another load of wheat…

We ‘ploughed the fields and scattered’
in the barn upon the farm.
Clean clothes in my workplace,
would fill me with alarm!
Afterwards a buffet lunch,
the floor and plates swept clean,
Cold turkey, ham and salad,
the best Village Thanks-giving seen!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until 17th of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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An Invisible Car Boot Sale!

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Foggy BootHere we are at the penultimate Saturday car boot sale of the season. So far this year we have only had to cancel two due to rain. This is a record. However last Saturday came close…

The boot sale season’s almost done,
The last one is next week,
The weather has been kind for us,
although for farming it’s been bleak!

Last week we had thick dense fog,
you could hardly see the stalls,
buyers loomed up out of the mist,
Voices echoed like St Pauls!

Today we hope for sunshine,
the weather forecast’s good.
Come down and see some bargains,
I think you really should!

I know… but it’s early in the morning and the brain is beginning to shut down its early-morning burst in preparation for Saturday morning lie-ins! Have a great weekend and enjoy whatever you have planned.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until 17th of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Sweeping!

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New SweeperAll I seem to do at the moment is sweep. We have loads and loads of wheat leaving the farm and after each load has gone I sweep! Then I empty a bin next door, transfer it over to the big shed by conveyor and sweep again. My son-in-law bought me a new sweeper the other day, it’s been a godsend…

I load a lorry,
I sweep the shed,
empty a bin,
sweep that instead!
I sweep the walls,
I sweep the floor,
Why do both?
I’m not sure!
Then another lorry,
leaves the farm,
and I re-engage,
my sweeping arm!

© Baldock Bard 2015

For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk


The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until 17th of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!

www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Over Another Hedge!

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ClaasLast week in Norfolk, supposedly taking a few days off, I was alerted by a familiar sound. Do other professions suffer from having to take a look? Does a dentist look at peoples teeth in Tesco’s? Does a hairdresser make comments about hairstyles on TV? Like a dog attracted by the sound of supper, I had to go take a look…

You can take the farmer from the farm,
But you can’t take the farm out of the farmer.
I’m always ‘hedgerow farming’,
A typical Farmer Palmer!
There in a field,
on the outskirts of a village,
a combine cutting linseed,
prior to autumn tillage!
“What you be doing?”
the farmer asked of me,
“Heard the familiar noise,
had to come and see!”

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk


The Baldock Boot Sale 
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until 17th of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Plain Sailing!

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Norfolk SailingRecently Mrs Bard and I spent a few relaxing days on a boat on the Norfolk Broads. For late September the weather was remarkable, clear blue skies with a few high clouds. However the wind was a bonus for sailors…

Spend a few days on a sailing boat,
enjoy the peacefulness of life afloat.
A very small penalty it has to be said,
are very low ceilings and pint-sized bed.
But this discomfort becomes forgotten past,
When the wind is blowing and you’re travelling fast!

I’m afraid my skills aren’t nautical fantastic,
We spent our week in a ‘Bateau Plastique!’
Plastic Boat

 

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until 17th of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Knackered of Baldock!

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Linseed binYesterday I moved a bin of linseed from one bin to another. This morning I feel ninety-nine years old. There was a time when I’d not notice the physical work and merrily rush from bin to bin singing as I went. Yesterday I hardly had the strength to climb the ladder out of the bin, let alone sing ye olde farm shanty…

I’m not Eighteen any more,
I shovelled a bin of linseed and I’m sore,
The emptier the bin,
the worse a state ‘twas in,
I’m ready for the knacker’s yard I’m sure!

If anyone can recommend a good retirement home I’d be grateful!
Have a great weekend!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Missing Tooth!

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The Tooth!Anyone driving past the farm late yesterday evening would have seen a strange sight. Four grown adults and a toddler, crouched down on the drive, sifting through pea-gravel by hand whilst laughing uncontrollably at the predicament. The situation however was serious, I had lost a crown from my mouth, and with a wedding to attend on Saturday, a bag-over-the-head was looking the only option…

Anyone seen a crown,
lying on the ground?
I heard a dreadful snap
now a hole like Watford Gap!
So many teeth-like clones,
disguised like little stones!
just before ‘twas dark,
a shout like a bark:
“Eureka! Do not fear!
I’ve found it lying here.
Later with a groan,
we found it was a stone!

I’m relieved to report it was found amongst the stones and so the search for a head-bag large enough has been cancelled.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Farmer with Altitude!

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Phantom 3When was the last time you took yourself way out of your comfort zone? Perhaps you absailed down the side of a building, cycled to Paris or swam the channel? Since June I have spent much time well away from my own personal comfort zone. I have been learning not just how to fly a UAV or drone, but have leapt the many hurdles in order to do it properly, safely and legally. I’ve passed my first exam for over forty years, written a unique 57 page flight manual with authority and yesterday passed a flight test in Lincolnshire. And all in my Sixtieth year!
However I didn’t do it on my own. Not only were there some great co-masochists in the Newcastle classroom at the end of June, but also those guiding us forward towards success were of the highest calibre. Sion and Daniel are military men, and as we all know our military is the best-trained in the world, so it came as no surprise when their training of us proved to be so successful. There were times when I didn’t know whether to honour it, salute it or remove its parachute and kick it out of the open door, but those two simply led from the front with unwavering belief that we could do it.
When I was told after my test that I’d achieved a ‘skilled pass’, all that this ancient farmer could utter in surprise was, “bloody hell, thank you!”
When are you going to leave your comfort zone…

Yesterday I went to film a tree,
my final test to fly a drone you see!
Daniel and Sion gazed on with awe,
“looks like he’s chased a tree before!”
They looked around the panorama,
“He’s used to fields as he’s a farmer!”
Just then the drone came into land,
Like a runaway tractor except planned.
When they recovered their shock at last,
“He didn’t crash, I think he’s passed!”
I heard them tell the non-existent multitude:
“He’s our farmer, he’s got altitude!”
TreeWith tremendous thanks to Sion and Daniel from RUSTA (www.uastraining.com). How they managed to guide me through the three months without a sheepdog I’ll never know. If you want to use a drone properly, take it from me you need experts to train you, and I thoroughly recommend these two be the ones that help you achieve your goal. If they can get a simple son of the soil over the hurdles, they must be the best!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Weather Balloon!

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Combine balloonLast night we finished harvest by being chased around the field of linseed by ominous back clouds. To harvest linseed you need one rare commodity – sun! Looking at the forecast there was not likely to be two consecutive dry days in the next fortnight, so we had to go when we could. As we combined the final row a balloon appeared in the sky…

Harvest at last is over,
Just before more rain,
It will be a relief,
to feel human once again!

No more trawling forecasts,
(choosing the one we like!)
We’re so used to the symbols,
as we watch the weather strike.

That’s not to say we’re out of the woods,
next years crops are to be drilled,
we’ll need the rain so they can grow,
or the barn will not be filled!

So may we have three weeks no rain,
(a plea to those who broadcast!)
And then we can forget the stormy skies,
and ignore the weather forecast!

Thanks to Virgin Balloons for appearing to help me celebrate my 1,111th blog posting!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Alarm Call!

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Alarm CallEvery Saturday morning my alarm goes off at 4.30 and I leap out of bed to prepare for an invasion of people. After cereal and coffee I leave the house and drive to the furthest edge of the farm where a queue of eager car boot sellers await in the dark. However some of them need new mattresses as they have been busy many hours before…

Who would ring at 02:09?
Don’t they know that it’s night-time?
Are they exhausted, tossing and turning,
for car boot sales they have been yearning.
They ring a number, the ‘boot sale line’
do they think all will be fine?
In an office empty and dark,
on the desk a phone is parked.
It rings and rings, to them ‘oh dear!’
they must assume that nobody’s here!
I am tempted tomorrow night,
To ring them early, are they alright?
But I won’t, because after all,
I find my mattress too comfortable!

Have a great weekend, I hope you’re spending it surrounded by those you love.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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