The Art of Conversation!

Posted on June 20, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Running a car boot sale in this country comes with problems that don’t affect markets in some other nations. We are at the mercy of the Great British Summer. Since the earliest of times, the weather has come to the aid of this Island Race when conversation has lagged. This has avoided those long silences that some unfortunate nations endure…

Here we are it’s Saturday,
Car Boot time again,
the forecast is uncertain,
looks like we’ll have rain!

Last week a sunny morning,
‘till after half-past-four,
then the heaven’s opened,
Down the rain did pour!

We all know politicians,
can’t agree together,
so let us just be thankful,
they can’t control the weather!

…it helps to fill a blog as well! Have a great weekend and I’ll see you on the other side!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Farmer’s Classroom!

Posted on June 17, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday a group of farmers came to the farm to have a farm walk and discuss complicated new regulations and possibilities concerning on-farm environment. Even though most attendees broadly agreeded with everything that was said about protecting the environment, I wondered if the same rules and regulations would be accepted by our European ‘partners’…

Farmers sit silently in a draughty shed,
Listening to yet more rules with dread,
In a government office a man named ‘Fred’,
Doesn’t think it important to have food or bread.

He’s never seen a farm except in Emmerdale,
Never been outside in snow, rain or hail,
He thinks only footballers are called ‘bale’,
“We’d just import food if farming were to fail”

They wouldn’t put up with this in Paris or Rome,
Driving tractors, around the streets they’d roam,
The police would then cover them all in foam,
They all know: “Fair Trade begins at home!”

With many thanks to those who spend their lives attempting to explaining the latest European/British dictats without much thanks or praise.

The Missing Pen!

Posted on June 16, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

How often have you searched for a pen despite having recently bought a multi-pack? I am certain that at nights they play hide-and-seek and that those that win are still hiding come daybreak…

I’m sure I had a pen here today,
I remember using it yesterday.
When I find it I’ll make sure,
I’ll not lose it, or abuse it, anymore!
I’ve been looking for at least a minute,
I’m sure it’s around here, (innit?)
I’ll just get a new one from the drawer,
(before I find the missing pen on the floor!)

The Three Cormorants

Posted on June 15, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

The other day I saw a sight to anger any fisherman. Three cormorants were swimming down a river, line abreast, looking for their supper. These birds are natures finest fisherman, however they operate without any control or restraint. As a non-fisherman I was in awe of their skills…

Three bold fishermen,
all in a row,
fishing from mid-stream,
is all they know!
They don’t need a licence,
don’t need hooks,
all they have learnt,
is not from books!
But when they go fishing,
anyone can see,
of one thing they’re sure,
there’s always fish for tea!

The coarse fishing season starts tomorrow 16th of June here in the UK.

The Goth Moth!

Posted on June 13, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Continuing my clear up in time for next weeks guests on the farm (http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=7054)I decided to strim the area around the barn where we are meeting. The meeting with the farmers is to discuss conservation and give them an opportunity to see our achievements here. However the strimmer refused to start…

The bloody strimmer refused to start,
I felt like a horse without a cart,
what will those farmers think of me?
thistles and nettles the first thing they’ll see!

Then I spied a little moth,
it’s back and red colouring decidedly ‘Goth’,
and all at once I realised,
this beautiful moth was my prize!

The little moth’s more valuable than I thought,
because it’s larvae eats poisonous ragwort.
So thanks to this little moth, black and red,
I’ve returned the strimmer to the shed!

For more info on this wonderful little ragwort-eater, Goggle ‘Cinnibar Moth’

Preparing for Guests!

Posted on June 11, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

When you have guests do you fly around the house like a dervish noticing all those little things you wish you’d tidied/mended weeks ago? Next week we open our gates for three visits to the farm. Two are from a London school and one from a group of local farmers. I’m not sure which visit scares me the most – 30 seven and eight year-old school children or critical farmers who’ll judge as they walk. Tommy has been helping prepare…

Yesterday morning clearing the barn,
with each hour that passes, greater alarm!
Tommy busy tidying, “where shall I hide,
this old tyre – in the nettles outside?”
We’ve tidied up the tools, swept the floor,
we’re nearly out of time can do no more.
Both groups of visitors will asking probing questions,
And in some cases, offer useful suggestions!
Everywhere I look I see cause for complaint,
Weeds that are growing, doors that need paint!
“Please Mr Farmer, can we see some cows!”
“I wouldn’t have rust like that on any of my ploughs!”
It’s getting to the stage where I’ve run out of time,
They’ll just have to accept me…
and this well-used farm of mine!

Every farm needs a Tommy, up to retirement he worked here full time, now he helps in the garden and dispairs at my untidyness!

Moss-Killer Not Required!

Posted on June 6, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Having lived in the same house for thirty-odd years, the concept of moving is alien to me. However, much to the relief of removal companies, cardboard box manufacturers and suppliers of that strange brown tape, others move with a frequency that leads to their entry in address books being in pencil…

Our friends are on the move again!
Somewhere that’ll be near the train.
The address change comes by internet,
Must make a note before I forget.
By relocating to a brand new town,
They’re trying to cut their contacts down?
They’ll have to try a little bit more,
To shake me off, I know the score!
They may be cunning but me-thinks,
I’ll invite myself to the house-warming drinks!

*Also, I happen to know of a rather good car boot sale where disposal of unwanted items can be of great pleasure to those who relocate!

Fair Trade Wanted!

Posted on June 3, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday I had a walk around the farm with Elizabeth, from the Farming and Wildlife Advisory Group, prior to a visit by a group of farmers in a fortnight. On the way round we talked around a number of topics, mainly to do with conservation. However something she said has sat at the back of my mind and is now shouting to be heard in that vast empty cavern…

Fair Trade should begin at home,
Supporting farmers now,
Instead of looking to abroad,
For wheat or milk or cow!
We want everything to be cheaper,
We don’t care how it’s done,
The fact the grower gets bugger-all,
“It’s always been,” say some.
So next time you’re doing shopping,
Seeking bargains with toothcomb!
Consider looking for British,
Because Fair Trade begins at home!

The Travels of a Breakfast Goat!

Posted on June 2, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

My grand-daughter is fascinated by goats and this morning she and I are enjoying an early breakfast. In an effort to stave off Ms Peppa Pig or Master Thomas the Tank Engine, I am pulling tricks out of my not-yet-awake sleeve! In the end I realized there was only one trick left…

There’s a goat in the cupboard,
what are we going to do?
he want’s to go to Cambridge,
has a ticket for Timbuktu!
He doesn’t want the railway,
he wants to go by bus.
He’s demolished a bowl of Goatabix,
is making a dreadful fuss!
My grand-daughter’s told him he can stay,
make himself at home,
Now he says he’s changed his mind,
and wants to go to Rome!
He going to call a taxi,
we’ve said that can’t be right,
he has said that that’s ok,
he’ll go by goatabike!

* Picture shows Marsya’s Godmother, Aurora, in Greece with her herd of goats. It is useful to have someone to blame for an obsession other than ones-self!

STOP PRESS!
Updated photo from Greece from Aunty Aurora!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Sunday Night Supper!

Posted on May 31, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Having my grand-daughter to stay alloys me a chance to reunite with childhood delicacies. I am able to digress in the aisles with my trolley and allow old friends back into my life. Then when she has eaten her fill and there are one or two (or more!) left in the box I strike! it would be a shame to waste them…

Fish-fingers and salt,
With salad cream,
How long ago,
Seems like a dream,
Since my mother grilled them,
On a tiny Baby Belling,
Prompting the question,
“Are those fish-fingers I am smelling?”

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life