Footpaths – A National Treasure

Posted on April 17, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

This week while driving around the farm I came across a group of ramblers on one of my grass fields. Rather than acting like Farmer Palmer from the Viz comic (Farmer Palmer says ‘Git Orf My Effin Land!’), I stopped and passed the time of day with them. It is great to share what I see every day…

They’re strolling in the sun across my field,
It’s only grass, won’t lose any yield,
It’s such fun when you share with a crowd,
To see other’s enjoyment makes you so proud.

They’re using my workplace for recreation,
On a series of footpaths that link up the nation,
It’s a very good way, of watching health and your weight,
I’m sure into Britain it helps put the Great!

Dedivated to all those who work behind the scenes to ensure the continuation of this National Treasure.

© Baldock Bard 2015
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The Traffic Jam Fairy!

Posted on April 15, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

You know what it’s like, you’re half an hour or more later leaving than you’d like and everything is going well. Suddenly a large spanner hits the works and the estimated time of arrival flies out of the window. The inconsiderate Traffic Jam Fairy is here…

We were in a hurry, running late,
Mrs Bard called it ‘my fault’, I called it ‘fate’.
We’d just passed a motorway junction,
When suddenly the tarmac lost its function.
At the other cars the dogs did bark,
As the road transformed into a large car park!
At the next opportunity we changed our route,
The shrewdness of this move I still dispute!
The satnav was being a wonderful tool,
For once it didn’t vacillate at all!
After half an hour we were out of the mess,
Congratulating ourselves on such success,
Then horror of horrors what a failure,
Around the bend, a tractor and trailer!
…being a farmer I should have known better!
© Baldock Bard 2015
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The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Protective Gloves!

Posted on April 13, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Once the preserve of doctors, surgeons and vets, the humble disposable glove has now widened its sphere of influence throughout society. There are few places where it is not part of daily life, and yet it receives little praise or honour…

Oh disposable glove what a wonder thou art,
In everyday scenarios you play your part!
In the office, farmyard or factory floor,
Protects from dirt, disease and gore!
Their humble contribution doesn’t quit,
Until you realise one has split!

Easter Bunnies on R&R!

Posted on April 9, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Visiting Oxfordshire yesterday I looked up and was startled to see more rabbits than I’ve seen for years. I think they were taking time out following a very busy Easter Weekend.

Where do the Easter bunnies go,
When their work is done?
They aren’t found near Baldock,
Because they like the sun!

Yesterday I saw them,
Relaxed and not afraid,
Their mouths covered in chocolate,
And drinking lemonade!

But what is this? They’re waving!
Of a farmer they have no fear?
They show their little cotton tails,
Then simply disappear!

© Baldock Bard 2015
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The Baldock Boot Sale
Returns this Saturday April 11^th 2015
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Nature’s Finest View

Posted on April 7, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Last night I took a photograph of the sunset over the river. It was breathtaking, although my photographic skills are sadly lacking and reliant on my ‘point and squirt’ digital camera. We do indeed live in a wonderful world…

The world turns gold,
And the promise,
That was today,
Slips silently away,
To become tomorrow.

The watery reflection,
like a tantalizing glimpse,
of another world,
That perhaps we’ll see,
Tomorrow or another day,
Or maybe not at all?

The swan floats serenely by,
As if it’s part of this other world already!

Nature’s most exquisite picture,
Slowly fades,
As the sun moves on,
To other continents,
And other times,
Leaving behind just darkness.

Happy 1st day back to work after the holiday!
The weekend is a day closer this week!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Returns Saturday April 11^th 2015
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Let’s Go Fly A Kite… (modern version!)

Posted on April 2, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday on Facebook a young lady from Bedfordshire posted a photo: ‘Let’s Go Fly a Kite!’ I suddenly realised that my drone is the modern equivalent! So thanks to Beckie here’s my take on a classic (you’ll all know the tune and it’ll stay with you for days!)…

Let’s go fly a drone,
Just behind our lovely home.
Let’s go fly a drone,
And watch it soaring!
Up to the atmosphere,
Those trees look very near!
Let’s go fly a drone,
And watch it falling!

We’ll send it for repair,
It will get no more fresh air,
Want to go fly a drone?
eBay in the morning!
Now that the drone is gone,
To a Londoner called Ron,
I now go and watch them crash,
On YouTube ‘till I’m snoring…

…Let’s all fly a drone etc!

You can find Beckie at Vibacious Events
http://www.vibaciousevents.com/
© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Returns Saturday April 11^th 2015
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Old Tractor!

Posted on March 31, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday I started up our old David Brown tractor. When she was new and shiny she was on display at the East of England Show! Now her bonnet is pitted with rust and she doesn’t like getting up in the mornings…

We have an old tractor,
Her name is David Brown!
She’s now retired,
Doesn’t work on the ground.
She’ll likely be seen,
Sawing up some wood,
She’d like to go ploughing,
I doubt if she could.
So she sits in the shed,
Doesn’t go anywhere,
It’s the tractor equivalent,
Of the high wing-back chair!

© Baldock Bard 2015
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Facebook: Baldock Bard
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The Baldock Boot Sale
Returns Saturday April 11^th 2015
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Lost – One Hour!

Posted on March 30, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

I hope your Monday morning is better than mine! Since the clocks sprung forward I have no idea where I am! Rather like the days after decimalization (way back in the Seventies), I’m finding myself converting to ‘old time!’ With luck the day will improve…

It’s Monday morning,
I’m all of a tizz,
My poor body clock,
Has no idea where it is!
Yesterday morning,
I mislaid an hour,
Ever since then,
I’ve been on half power!

I’ve searched the whole house,
I’ve even asked Ron,
But nobody knows,
Where that hour’s gone!
At my time of life,
Can’t afford loss of time,
So if you find an hour,
Please return it, it’s mine!

© Baldock Bard 2015
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Facebook: Baldock Bard
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E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Returns Saturday April 11^th 2015
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Last Load of Wheat!

Posted on March 26, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

This morning is an early start as the last of the wheat from last harvest is leaving the farm. Unfortunately there is only around 10-12 tons wheras the lorry holds 29. So I’m sharing the load and the penalty for the trailer not being full with another farmer in the same situation. His wheat is already loaded and I’m praying that the rain stops before I load mine…

Up before the lark,
It’s pouring with rain,
When loading a lorry,
It’s a real pain.
If the moisture,
Is above fifteen,
There will be a penalty,
£2 a tonne, that’s obscene!
When the wheat arrives,
At the prcessing plant,
The first thing they add is water,
(They can, but I can’t!)

Happy Days!

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The Baldock Boot Sale
Returns Saturday April 11^th 2015
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Lie-in!

Posted on March 23, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

I realise it is just plain cruel to talk about weekend lie-ins on a Monday morning. You’re commuting into work, packed into the train like sardines and I remind you of that lazy Sunday morning following the rugby. Foot warming provided by your faithful hound…

Here I lie at the bottom of the bed,
Using your feet to rest my head,
Don’t you dare think of rising soon,
With your post-rugby hangover you look like a baboon!
That presentation due for work tomorrow,
Won’t bring reward only sorrow,
So if I may make a reasonable suggestion,
Call in sick and blame congestion!

Wishing you all a Happy Monday, I hope your day brings joy and happiness. If the boss asks where the presentation is, please don’t blame me, I’m in enough trouble already without your reminder!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Returns Saturday April 11^th 2015
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life

Footpaths – A National Treasure

The Traffic Jam Fairy!

Protective Gloves!

Easter Bunnies on R&R!

Nature’s Finest View

Let’s Go Fly A Kite… (modern version!)

The Old Tractor!

Lost – One Hour!

The Last Load of Wheat!

The Lie-in!