Category Archives: Farm and Countryside Life

Brown, The Very Old Tractor!

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David Brown 1490Yesterday I went to mow the roadside verge. This a job that used to be regularly done by the Council. However one four foot pass once a year is now judged to suffice under the excuse of ‘going green’. This meagre practice allows weeds to spread from the unfettered breeding ground into my crops and also makes visibility our roads more dangerous for us all. So I decided to team up with an old friend and declare war on the cow parsley and nettles…

I know an old girl her name is Brown,
Her big old wheels have been around!
You’d never guess that years ago,
She was the star of an agricultural show,
Centre stage looking grand,
On a tractor dealers stand!

Yesterday I went to the barn,
She watched me approach with alarm!
“Come on Browny, let’s get going,
You and I are off mowing!”
Very soon she was in her stride,
Mowing grass by the roadside.

Her bonnet may be bent and rusty,
Her once plush cab, worn and dusty,
But she’s still as useful as can be,
Mainly on the saw bench to chop up a tree!
Despite reluctance, despite her fears,
She won’t be scrapped for many more years!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Bluebells (natures magical secret)

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The woodland floor at the moment is a carpet of blue. It is absolutely magical. It is one scene that is unchanged for centuries. However the delicate native species can only thrive when left undisturbed, so few people witness this miracle of nature. The delicate flower is in full bloom for a very short time before disappearing to lie in wait for next year. Words cannot describe its full beauty, so why use them…
Bluebells at Clothall

© Baldock Bard 2014
For verse click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Cleanest Tractor in Town! (doing a dirty job)

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JCB LOOSJohn polished our JCB the other day. I can foresee trouble ahead as I’m having to use it to tow the loos to the car boot sale. My Mitsubishi is poorly and in bed on doctors orders. So I’m having to tread carefully…

We’ve got the cleanest tractor in town,
It gleams more than any around.
But it’s sulking, a real wailer,
as it’s towing the car boot loo-trailer!
Because my Mitsubishi is ill,
I’m using it to tow the loos down the hill.
As it hits the early-morning road,
It will try to ditch this insulting load,
and head off to a land far away,
where all lucky tractors go to play!
And frolicking in Utopia you’ll see,
one very happy JCB!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Reason the Visitors Wouldn’t Leave!

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Geese+On the 24th February I wrote how our geese were having trouble with guests that would not leave (http://bit.ly/1fMq9qU). Now it seems that they had an ulterior motive: like Mary, she was ‘with child’. Yesterday morning the proud parents paraded their young for all to see, rather like a walkabout on a royal foreign tour…

Spring has sprung at last round here!
It’s a magical time of the year,
lambs are prancing under the trees,
everywhere are Bumble-Bees!
Yesterday morning my eyes did fix,
on our Canadian visitors with five chicks!
If there’s a better morning sight to see,
I don’t know, please tell me!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season TOMORROW!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Plastic Hammer!

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Sign erec1Our twenty-second season of car boot sales starts on Saturday. The days leading up to the first one seem to be much shorter than in a normal week. As I get (much) older I need to rely on more help to prepare, many hands make light work…

Granddaughter has joined the team,
to prepare for the car boot sale,
she helps put up the new roadside sign,
despite Granddad looking pale,
when she picks up a hammer,
and swings it around her head,
causing a Health and Safety panic,
which is better left unsaid!
The new sign is finally erected,
for all who pass to see,
and the gang who are getting ready,
go off home for tea!
(or milk and biscuits and to play with plastic hammer like Granddad!)
Sign erec2

FYI: At all times the child mentioned here was supervised by seventeen carefully trained specialists (out of shot) in the art of using a hammer and no animals were harmed in the production of this verse. Serving Suggestion Only.

FYI2: There are some companies that go that extra mile for their customers. Poster Pidgeon (who printed our new signs) is a great find. For someone like me who struggles with sizes and puzzles over pixels, they are a godsend.
Thank you Posterpigeon! They can be found at: Posterpigeon.co.uk

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Scarecrow and the Jacket!

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JacketWhile browsing in a local shop yesterday I came across a remaindered rail full of jackets. As is my habit, I took a photo for possible future use. Later on, while downloading the picture, I was suddenly reminded of a gentle-man who lived in our village and how one day he’d given me a jacket…

Francis rang me up to say,
“I saw your scarecrow yesterday,
and far from me to criticise,
the coat doesn’t fit and is not its size!
I have an old coat I no longer wear,
that may be rather useful there!”

I accepted the coat, I did not know,
that it had be tailored in Saville Row!
It was only when I got it home,
t’was in a better state than my own!
It wouldn’t go to waste, there was no doubt,
the scarecrow would be going without!

Dedicated to the late Francis Tufton, a gentle and generous countryman.

 

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Last Daffodil

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Daff 1We have one daffodil left under the flowering cherry tree. A daffodils departure often goes unnoticed as our eyes feast on blossom. This year I have been out and thanked her for her unique colour when all around was still drab and winter-like…

A lonely daffodil called Dilly
Was standing alone by a tree
“I’m the last one left
I’m quite bereft
There’s nobody left but me”

All the others had petals a-crispy
Their time was over this year
They’d said their goodbyes
With watery eyes
Next year they will reappear

Under the tree filled with blossom
The lonely daffodil made clear:
“I am quite sure,
I’ve done this before,
I’ll see you again in a year”
Daff 2© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Early Morning Alarm!

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MoonDid anyone else notice how bright it was, early this morning? No? I woke early (as all good farmers do, to milk the chickens or similar), and convinced myself that I’d overslept! Being so keen to salute the new day I crept back into bed for another two hours…

I woke up in the middle of the night,
And almost got up it was so bright.
I went to the window drew back the curtain,
Was time to rise of that I was certain!
As I crept back across the floor,
I realized it was just half-past four!
I narrowly avoided getting up too soon,
I blame my demeanor on a very full moon!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The ‘Invisible’ Mend!

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BonkerSon in law John and I went bonking yesterday. We put the post-bonker onto the JCB Loadall and replaced fencing posts down at the car boot sale field. When we returned to the farm I decided to put the bonker away in the shed. Carelessness led to a toppling over: cue some speedy mending…

The Baldock Bard has been a fool,
put the post-bonker through the shed wall.
Son-in-law John looked up to the sky
and asked the Almighty, “Why, oh why?”
Hole1A mend was needed before anyone saw,
The wall was not like it was before!
So with speed we cut a new profile sheet,
And bolted it on – repair complete!
Son-in-law John driven round the bend,
when I said it was an invisible mend!
Hole2© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Intense Calibrations!

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Calib1In the movie ‘Safety Not Guaranteed’ (trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73jSnAs7mq8), the actor Mark Duplass (playing a time traveller) tells Aubrey Plaza “My calibrations are flippin’ pin-point, OK?” We had to check our calibrations yesterday, not in our DeLorean, but in our more down to earth fertilizer spreader. Some time later all calibrations had been checked and it was time to feed the crops…

It’s feeding time on the farm again!
The crops are growing without refrain!
In order to make the yields even better,
We get out the great big spreader!
Fertilizer is expensive stuff,
So we order just enough!
In order to avoid calculative destructions,
Firstly we read all the instructions!
We fill the spreader with a ton,
Calibration starts the fun!
Calib4Then to the field to amaze,
We’ve put out several trays!
These catch the prills from the speader you see,
Have we spread with accuracy?
Calib3With great relief the spread is correct,
Paperwork will show the spread’s been checked!
All is well and there’s no hitch,
We’ve spread in the field and not in the ditch.
Calib2© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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