Category Archives: Food

School Visit 2 (of 3)

Posted on by
Share

Yesterday was Wednesday and that meant Brunswick Park (1) in our week of school visits to the farm. We did mostly what we’d done with the previous day’s group, although it was markedly different as no two groups are ever the same. We even had a trek through long grass, despite allergy’s and Hay Fever…

Trekking through long grass,
on the way back to the farm,
“I’ve nettle stings on my legs,”
“A horsefly bit my arm!”
“I am so tired,
I’m sure something went crunch!”
Please tell me Mr Farmer,
when is it time for lunch?”

“Just a couple more miles,”
I strove to reassure,
thirty pleading bodies,
“No please, we want no more!”
I’m sure that when they’re home,
they’ll sleep like logs tonight,
they won’t be the only ones,
I’ll be out like a light!

Many thanks to Year 3 from Brunswick School, London, for coming to visit us, we’ll see your other classmates later today for more of the same!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

Share

Flying with Pigeons!

Posted on by
Share

While visiting the Cereals 2018 show the other day I met a local farmer who was having trouble with pigeons on her peas. I related the story of how a farmer’s daughter brought back a personal alarm from her first year away at university and how her father attached it to his drone to scare off the pigeons who were destroying his oil seed rape crop. That evening I went flying with pigeons…

I attached the alarm to my faithful drone,
took off over the field near to home,
I pressed record on the remote control,
and sent the drone for a leisurely stroll.
All of a sudden a flutter of alarm,
a host of pigeons loose on the farm,
I swooped right down much to their surprise,
a strange machine fell from the skies!
It was the closest thing to a video game,
(swooping down on bombers in a Spitfire plane),
I whooped with success (I may have squealed!)
as I chased the pigeons off a large pea field!

With thanks to Jo for fun with pigeons! 
Have a great weekend and if you are troubled by pesky pigeons, don’t call Ghostbusters!
Picture below: DJI Mavic with added noise!  

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

Share

Cereals 2018 (b)

Posted on by
Share

Yesterday I went to Cereals 2018. Various people asked why, when I no longer had any arable acres, did I bother going. At first I couldn’t come up with a good answer. However having mulled it over while I was walking around amongst the giant tractors, combines and cultivation machines I suddenly realised the answer…

You can take the farmer out of the farm,
a move contemplated with some alarm,
when he’s been used to a harvest all his life,
(so have his friends, family and wife).
It is more to him than just a career,
with it’s worry, uncertainty and cash flow fear,
when you remove his arable armour,
you can’t take the farm out of the farmer.

Have a great day and enjoy what you do while you can and stay away from big toys you can’t afford or justify!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


 

 

 

 

Share

Cereals 2018!

Posted on by
Share

Today I’m off to a ‘Farming Show’ called Cereals. This isn’t what non-farmers would think of as a typical agricultural show. It’s a specialist, single-sector, exhibition cum informative talking-shop with demonstrations of machines big and small (without sheep, cattle, pigs or alpacas!). It is also interesting to me as a drone-flying-farmer to view the latest innovations…

The car parks open at six,
the gates open at eight,
I’m still writing my daily blog,
looks like I might be late!
My drone is having a day off,
(no chance of breakage today!),
I will be near Duxford,
watching someone else at (work) play!
The talk will be all serious,
of crops and rain and sun,
but what nobody will tell you,
despite problems farming’s such fun!

Have a good day everyone, stay safe and happy.
(Photo taken at Cereals 12th June 2014!)  

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


 

Share

‘Tut-Tuting’ in the Queue!

Posted on by
Share

More and more people seem to have less and less time on their hands these days. A two minute wait at traffic lights or a queue of more than four customers at the bank leads to much ‘tut-tutting!’ This seems to be most prevalent at the supermarket check-out…

Sunday morning at the basket checkout,
an old man with full basket makes another want to shout!
Then horror of horrors he’s not weighed his veg,
and some in the queue move closer to the edge!
Then the weigher doesn’t weigh and is broken down into parts,
resulting in a queue of irate olden-farts!
They have time during the week to do their shopping,
but at the weekend it’s the aisles they are a-clogging!
When they start to tut I remember a quote to fit:
‘When God made time he made plenty of it!’

Have a great day and watch out for me ‘tut-tutting’ at the checkout! Apologies yet again for the poor quality of the verse this morning, it reminds me never to give up my day job!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

Share

‘Snappy’ to the Rescue!

Posted on by
Share

Last week the GDPR regulations came into force for businesses in the UK. As far as I was aware, the only information we stored for the car boot sales was a list of mobile numbers. Therefore I sent out a text that included the following:
‘All we have is a list of mobile numbers stored on an i-Phone which is kept at night in the cage that holds our pet crocodile, Snappy, and we will never ever give your number to anyone else because you are our friend’
From texts received it would seem that Snappy has a number of fans out there, but even if he’s not real, it can do you good to keep your very own ‘Snappy’ in reserve…

If you’ve ever dealt with complaints before,
and not wished to hear just one word more,
what you need are some sharp teeth,
a trap door with a croc beneath!
Even if this croc isn’t real,
pretend it is and better you’ll feel,
reach for that lever in your mind,
and leave the complaints far behind!

He may squeal,
He may shout,
but you have let,
your ‘Snappy’ out!

Have a great day and don’t let those complaints get you down!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

Share

The Spider and the Spoon!

Posted on by
Share

I must have been playing in the long grass when my mother gave her cubs the etiquette lesson because I’m a social failure. Either I get motor-mouth-bore factor 50 or I am struck dumb with gargoyle-stone-tongue-syndrome. On Sunday I went to a wonderful 60th birthday party, lovely surroundings, sunshine, very tasty wine, marquee on an English lawn, one of over 100 guests and a seating plan for lunch. I knew quite a few of the other guests but have an inbuilt dread of seating plans. We sat down for lunch and I found myself between the daughter of the birthday-girl (a young and pretty Australian nurse) and a spritely and feisty grandmother. I tried to be a good guest, attempting to share attention, until the grandmother dug me in the ribs with a well-sharpened elbow…

“I think that you will find,
there’s a spider in your spoon,
and as it’s nearly two,
they’ll serve pudding very soon!”
I looked at my cutlery,
and suddenly could see,
the ‘spider’ she was talking about,
was the roof of the marquee!
In horror my brain went frozen,
what was I to do?
Suggest a trip to Specsavers,
or dash out to the loo?
So I picked up the spoon,
and gave it a mighty clack,
then she said the immortal words:
“Oh look! The spider’s back!”

With massive apologies to my wonderful lunchtime neighbours for the embellishment of the simple tale. Although in my defence, I did tell the grandmother as I took the photo that I had no idea how I’d include a spoon into a verse!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

Share

Agricultural Perfection!

Posted on by
Share

There are moments in life when perfection stares you in the face and you are forced to act. Yesterday evening I was driving back from visiting my old man when I suddenly slammed on the brakes, grabbed my trusty i-phone and took this mornings photo. I just wish that I’d had a proper camera with me…

Sometimes you just know that somethings right,
like the potato planting I saw last night.
It wasn’t me on the tractor as everyone knows,
I’d never achieved such perfect rows.
…so I’ll just sit back and enjoy someone else’s perfection!

Have a great day and if you can find perfection, even in others, luxuriate in the discovery and have a great day!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

Share

The Trolley-Cam

Posted on by
Share

While shopping over the weekend I came across a couple arguing. I wondered if such a thing as a Trolley-Cam existed, would people start putting ‘shocking shopping moments’ on Twitface rather like they do with motorway incidents now. I had invented ‘Trolley-Cam’ (in my mind). Then, on second thoughts I decided that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea…

I went shopping with my trolley-cam,
just in case I met an argumentative man,
down the aisles without any strife,
all of a sudden “You filming my wife?”
I tried to explain, as one should,
“of course not old chap, as if I would?”
“You’d better not” he said to I,
and with a fist he blacked my eye.
So the idea is a definite non-starter,
I’m too much a coward to make a good martyr!

Enjoy today and smile as you’re bound to be on camera somewhere! The Truman Show is here and now.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
7am Every Saturday until October
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


Share

The Breakfast Buffet!

Posted on by
Share

Many years ago in the far-off mists of time we used to rear turkeys for the Christmas market. Only one reminder of that time remains in the yard, a galvanized feeding trough which we now use to put out feed for our guard geese. However, as is the case with a free breakfast buffet, others make use of it too…

Saw a sight this morning,
made me splutter and cough,
two pheasants were standing,
in the geese’s trough!
Another was shouting,
“I think it’s very rude,
that you’re standing,
in someone else’s food!”
The cock pheasant said,
“I don’t think that I am,
and frankly my dear,
I don’t give a damn!”

Dedicated to anyone who may have been barged out of the way this morning at a hotel breakfast buffet! May the guilty suffer indigestion all morning!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
Season starts 7am Saturday 14thApril 2018
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

Share