Category Archives: Food

The Child’s Ice Cream!

Posted on by
Share

Ice CreamHave you ever entered a competition and seen your entry come to naught? Recently I entered a poetry competition judged by a famous poet. Despite working on this simple verse for hours, editing, re-editing, trimming words with my pen-knife, even deleting whole sentences, it disappeared without trace! However I’m not bothered as, like a meal, it’s all a question of taste and flavour! The subject was food, in eight verses or less. I throw it out to you to judge. Bonne Appetite…

She screams:
“ICE CREAM!”
I scream:
“NO ICE CREAM!”
She screams.

I waiver:
“What flavour?”

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

The Humble Teaspoon!

Posted on by
Share

TeaspoonThere are some mornings when I struggle to find a topic. This morning has been one of those! It is then that I look for the ordinary, the unseen, the undervalued. This morning while making a coffee to try and kick-start the word-flow, my eyes alighted on a humble every-day item we all ignore – the teaspoon…

The smallest cutlery in the drawer,
Is the one you tend to use much more!
It measures out coffee, it measures out tea,
Sometimes used in the home pharmacy!
It doles out pickle and jam from a jar,
With mousses and yoghurts it’s a star.
When satisfying baby’s hungry cries,
A teaspoon is the perfect size!
I’ve seen some men but never a wife,
Stir their tea with the handle of a knife!
When it goes missing, you get my gist,
The humble teaspoon is most missed!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

Time Travel with my Stomach!

Posted on by
Share

Wagon Wheel 1I’m always pleased (at my advanced age!) to rediscover tastes and experiences that I’d forgotten. The other day Mrs Bard and I were in Morrisons at Sterling Corner at the bottom of the A1 when I discovered they sold Wagon wheels! I could hardly wait until I got home before ripping open the packet to travel back in time…

I opened the packet of Wagon Wheels
And much to my surprise
Over the years they had shrunk
To almost half the size

The chocolate was still melty
The biscuit still held a crunch
But where was the thick layer of mallow?
I used to enjoy after lunch!

It was only then that I realized,
The years had slipped away,
And nothing still tasted the same,
As it did back in the day!

So next time I have a brainwave,
I shall ignore the time-travel call,
Because nothing is quite the same,
As it was when I was small!
Wagon Wheel 2However having finished the packet of six in one sitting I can say they are still irresistible and produce the same over-indulgent stomach ache as they did when I pigged out back then. After all these years I still haven’t learnt that one is enough and that the packet will still be available the next day!!!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

Battered Fish!

Posted on by
Share

Battered FishI was in our local supermarket last week when I saw a disturbing sign. It is never pleasant to witness distress, however there didn’t seem to be any sounds of discontent or pain coming from the chilled cabinet. So I continued on my way and ignored the sign…

There’s nothing worse than battered fish,
It sits sadly on the dish.
You never hear it complain,
Just in case it gets thumped again.
So perhaps we all should make a wish,
To be much kinder to battered fish.

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

Personal Marketing!

Posted on by
Share

IMG_6945Friend Hazel bought me a present with my name on! She couldn’t find Baldock or Bard, so she had to make do with one of my lesser monikers. Yesterday on the tractor I drunk it! Whilst in the process I thought of how it was possibly the best marketing ploy ever…

Glug, glug, glug goes the bottle,
As I’m driving my tractor,
A smile encased, my dusty face,
Personalisation the deciding factor!

In service stations and shops,
Up and down the land,
You always see, folks like me,
With a bottle in their hand!

However the name might be wrong,
I’ve been Sue, Chantelle and Grace,
But for a while, it brings a smile,
To a strangers face!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

A Blast From My Past!

Posted on by
Share

GreengrocersHave you ever been suddenly reminded of times past? Driving my old man to a London station yesterday I was stopped at some traffic lights in Kilburn when I spotted something that I hadn’t seen locally for years – A greengrocers shop that was so full of wonderful produce that it spilled onto the street! Perhaps there is life after stores like Tesco have killed a town and maybe the city can teach rural areas a thing or two…

When I was young and just a lad,
I’d go shopping on a Friday with my dad!
In our old grey pickup, collie in the back,
The bench seat was covered with a sack!
First we’d go to get the wages,
He’d chat to people it took ages!
Then to the supermarket, International Stores,
It was compact, with shinny floors!
The greengrocer was always the last to meet,
A tiny shop with a queue on the street.
Eric Piper was short not stout,
He reminded me of a Brussels Sprout!
All of this died some 40 years ago,
The town changed for ever, shops started to go.
So seeing a greengrocer’s fantastic display,
Took me right back to another day!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

The Orphan Jar!

Posted on by
Share

Orphan JarDo you find that guests leave the most extraordinary items behind after a visit? We had some friends to stay who brought their own coffee with them as we have only full-strength on offer. When they had gone, we discovered an orphan in the kitchen…

The cases were packed,
And put in the car,
Off on their journey.
To destination far!

Back in the kitchen,
“Don’t forget me!”
A now-orphaned jar,
of decaff-coffee!

“Don’t leave me here,
Please just wait,
They don’t like my sort
I’m left to my fate!”

Then from the corner,
A small voice like her,
“Come here and join me,”
said the artificial sweet-ner!

I never complain when guests leave things behind as it means they had a good time and will be returning! (even when their host has soaked them with water! see:http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=5905)

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

Harvest Home 2014!

Posted on by
Share

Harvest HomeSo that was Harvest 2014! A mixed bag in anyone’s books. On this farm wonderfully early with average yields. However in some fields: disastrous outputs caused by choking of the wheat by a weed called Blackgrass. As our weed-killing armoury is restricted further and further by legislation in the UK, but not always abroad, we will have to consider the way forward very carefully. However harvest is over, time to prepare for the next one…

Harvest is over
We all shed a sigh,
Life shifts down a gear
No more dust in the eye!

The earliest harvest,
I’ve known for some years.
We got it all in,
Despite rainy fears.

The final disaster,
A blocked-up conveyor,
Beans spilt everywhere,
Irritating delayer!

But all is not finished,
For any farm men,
As now we prepare,
To start planting again!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

The Last Lap of Harvest 2014!

Posted on by
Share

Harv 2014We are racing the weather fronts again, as we dash to get all the beans from the field into the shed. In the store the beans are so noisy on their journey that noise-cancelling headphones are the order of the day (and Health & Safety requirement!). But from the road the scene is one of tranquility and harmony as the sun sets on another harvest…

There’s something about a combine,
That draws the ‘ooh’s and the aaah’s!’
Commuters back from the office,
Drive past in their company cars!

They don’t see the dust,
They don’t hear the noise,
But swoon at the machinery,
Like grown-up little boys!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

The Four-Legged Thief!

Posted on by
Share

Guilty TerrierI’m afraid I have to admit that my terrier is a thief. Unfortunately if she were dragged in front of the judiciary the newspapers would report that: ‘the defendant showed no remorse’. Maybe it is in her upbringing and I am at fault, or maybe because she comes from the Fens…

Where oh where can my sandwiches be?
I made them fresh with chicken you see.
I then added a layer of salad cream,
They have vanished, must have been a dream

Where oh where can my biscuits be?
I was to have mid-morning with my flask of tea,
A couple were chocolate and three were plain,
I don’t suppose I’ll see them again!

Where oh where has that terrier gone?
I’ve been in the garden and shouted “Come on!”
Then I spy an abandoned packet of crisps
and there she sits licking her lips!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share