Category Archives: Food

A Celebratory Obsession!

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Have you got a food obsession? I have several – Cheeselets, Wine Gums and Coffee Creams to name but three. However a most disturbing trait from my teens was re-ignited this year by a humble retro Marks and Spencer ‘Celebration Sandwich’. I hope to be cured shortly…

At the beginning of this summer
We had the jubilee
M&S celebration sandwiches
Filled my life with glee!

Egg, Tomato and Salad Cream
A retro taste delight
Was the only sandwich capable
Of giving me delight!

But unfortunately there’s a rub
An obsession so unreal
I now seem to have to have salad cream
With almost every meal!
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

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The Wheat Cheque!

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The wheat cheque has arrived! For an arable (or crop-growing) farmer, the arrival of the wheat cheque is a most important time of the farming year. Without it no seed is put in the ground, no nutrients are fed to the crop and no harvest can take place. When I first started out on my own, twenty years ago, wheat was worth £150 per ton. This year, for the first time since 1992, it has climbed back above that level. During that time everything needed to grow the crop has increased in price: fuel, fertilizer, spare parts and machinery etc. At its lowest, the value of a ton of wheat fell to £56. Perceived value of food also fell, it was judged to be more important to own the latest i-Anything than have food on the table. With world shortages of food arriving at our doorstep, rather than being the exclusive preserve of poorer parts, the job done by a farmer and the food he produces may just be valued once more…

The wheat cheque has landed on the mat
I sigh with relief “thank heavens for that!”
It’s even more than I first thought
Bills can be paid – fertilizer bought
But I spare a moment for those whose crop
Has either failed or had a quality drop
There will be less food to go around this year
Let’s hope it’s less disastrous than it would appear
With grateful thanks to everyone at Fengrain Co-operative ( http://www.fengrain.co.uk) for ensuring that my wheat cheque is guaranteed to arrive on time every time!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

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The Cheeselet Season!

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I like Cheeselets. However they are getting more and more difficulty to obtain outside the Christmas season! These refugees from the Seventies are clinging onto life in the twenty-first Century by their fingernails. Cheese Footballs made a surprise return to the shops a couple of years ago but are now only a distant memory. Every year I expect similar extinction for Cheeselets…

I have a friend who lives down West
Who understands what I like best
She e-mailed a photo for a reason:
To remind me it’s now the Cheeselet season!

I understand that game or shellfish
Outside their season would be quite selfish
Why not Cheeselets on any date?
They have no need to propagate!

So from after Christmas to Michaelmass
No Cheeselets available I don’t fuss!
But it’s now time to pull out the stops,
They’re safely back on sale in the shops!
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

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The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season ends this Saturday at 7am but returns after Easter 2013!
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Ode to Chocolate Mousse!

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You are so wonderful,
You are so sweet,
Without your presence,
A meal’s incomplete!

I see you nestling,
Upon my spoon,
And know we’ll be together,
Very soon!

And then the taste,
Reaches it’s destination,
And I don’t much care,
About damnation!
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

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The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 20th!

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Simply Oat Storage!

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Do you have parts of your job that you dislike? Maybe it’s the daily commute, filing your tax return or even putting up with those you work with? This week we have been moving oats around the grain store (to keep them in perfect condition to be worthy of your plate) where they have been stored since harvest in 60 ton bins. This operation involves a fair amount of sweeping, dust and chaff and a large amount of facial sweat behind a full-face dust mask. Most of the time everything goes well. However when things go wrong oats start to overflow over the floor, down into the deep elevator pit, between bins rather than into them or onto us! Fun it is not…
Oats by the bucketful, oats by the tonne,
We’re moving oats and not having fun!
You’d think it was easy, shifting from bin to bin,
But when things go wrong it’s oats we are in!
They fall from conveyors, they fall from height,
They get in our clothes, it’s just not right.
John’s in the bin sweeping oats out,
The dust is so thick you can’t see out!
Just at the moment you think you’ve got them all,
There’s a spillage from above and oats begin to fall!
They’re coming from bin 9 going to bin 4,
Something has happened they’re all over the floor!
Then you discover you’re really in the sh*t,
You look down the hatch they’re in the inspection pit!
Their fall from on high makes misery complete,
By falling down your shirt and ending at your feet!
So next time you’re eating porridge and burn your tongue,
It’s just those playful oats again, having final fun!
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!

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BootLine: 07852 707 074
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Baldock’s Unusual Biscuits!

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Visit Baldock and see the world! In Chapman’s the Butchers on the High Street is a corner that is forever Jo’burg, Cape Town or Pretoria. Burly ex-pat South-Africans from around the UK can be found trying to stifle a sob as they re-discover groceries from back home. Their biscuit manufacturers are more adventurous in the choice of product names…

Fancy a Tennis?
That would be fun!
Along with tea
Under South African sun!
“Tell me Gerald,
What is the score?”
“The plate will be empty,
If you Eet-Sum-Mor!”
Down in the lane,
All not as it seems.
A travelling bovine,
Munches Romany Creams!
In the spare bathroom,
A smell never stops!
No-one is there,
Must be Ghost Pops!
Chapmans the Butchers
5 High Street Baldock
http://www.chapmansbutchers.com

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074
E-mail: baldockbard(at)u-boot.co.uk
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Autumn Colours!

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September on the farm is a time to cultivate the fields ready for a new crop. Up and down the countryside tractor drivers have been putting in long hours preparing the ground. At Baldock Bard Farm, Pete has been busy…

The big John Deere is chugging away
Its rubber tracks are clean
Dust is blowing far behind
As it makes an Autumn scene

The subdisk has two rows of tines
That stirs the earth below
Discs then chop up any lumps
The forward speed is slow!
Pete is sitting in the cab
Twelve hours on his own
The only company he has got
The radio and his phone!

As you pass him in the car
Give the chap a toot!
He’s the start of your daily bread
And he doesn’t wear a suit!
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074
E-mail: baldockbard(at)u-boot.co.uk
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Sweet Paradise!

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When you were a child did you have a favourite sweet shop? I was walking through the small market town of St Neots in Cambridgeshire the other day, when I came across an old fashioned sweet shop. In I went (the excuse being to buy Hard Licorice for Daughter Bard), and that little voice in my head forced me to buy Coffee Creams. Now these are very difficult to find, so I set the sat-nav and vowed to return. Fast forward to a private moment with aforesaid chocolately-coffee-wonders and I discover that the shop has an online-department. Being a generous sharer (apart from Coffee Creams!) I just had to share this information with you…

I was scoffing Coffee Creams,
Hidden far from view,
When all at once I discovered,
They were available online too!

I went upon the Internet,
Typed in Sweet Paradise,
And discovered all the sweets,
I used to think were nice!

There I found Sherbert Fountains,
Aniseed Balls as well.
I re-remembered Pear Drops,
(their peculiar taste and smell!)

Did you like Dolly Mixtures?
Pass Jelly Babies around?
Did you innocently give some Sweethearts
To a girl in the school playground?

I’m not saying that I’m weak-willed,
But if I lived St Neots way,
I’d have to visit Sweet Paradise,
Almost every day!

Thank heavens for the web!
http://www.sweetparadise.co.uk
Also on Facebook!
And in St Neots at 4, Cross Keys Mews, where they have one of the friendliest shops I’ve ever visited! 

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above


The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074
E-mail: baldockbard(at)u-boot.co.uk
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Harvest Home!

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Last night we finished harvest. This year more than any other we are truly counting our blessings that we have a small farm, as all over the country there are many acres of wheat still to harvest. This is not only due to the wet summer, but also the wheat straw was still green while the seed was ripe. Modern harvesters require the straw to be dry in order to maximize throughput of the crop therefore covering vast areas in minimum time. By the time the straw was ready the grain was rapidly loosing both quality and value. As we only had a small acreage we were able to struggle on with greenish straw and get the grain while still good. The yields may not be record-breakers but everything is in the barn. The last crop to harvest were the beans…

Two questions that I’m always asked,
At this time of year:
“What’s that black crop in the field?”
Or “that crop looks dead I fear!”
That black crop is field beans,
Either planted winter or spring,
It’s what is known as a ‘break crop’,
Allows a rotation of crops to begin.
When harvested it’s dusty,
(But not in an air-con cab!)
We have to catch them before they fall out,
Beans left on the ground is bad!
Back in the barn they rattle,
Much noisier than wheat or oats,
In six months or so they will go,
To feed pigs, cattle or goats.
So now the harvest is over,
But there is just no time,
We’re already cultivating for next year,
(But that’s another day’s rhyme!)
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues tomorrow at 7am!
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BootLine: 07852 707 074
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Loads of Wheat and Paper!

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Last week the wheat on the farm was tested, this week it starts to leave! Paperwork and regulations, devised by unseen desk-drivers, becomes all-important! It is simple to load and cart grain with the large bucket on the JCB. Making sure the paperwork is correct, less so…

N.B. This verse is dedicated to all those connected with Fengrain and L&H Transport for making my life that bit easier due to their expertise and good humour

Amy from Fengrain’s on the phone she wants to move some wheat,
She’ll get on to transport, to make the consignment complete!
Mick rings up from L&H, “We want six lorry loads,
Can we start Tuesday to miss the Bank Holiday roads?”
Ian arrives to collect a load, early on Tuesday,
Wants a load of quality wheat, “for biscuits so they say!”
So starts up a paper trail, longer than a mile,
Loading the wheat takes no time, but forms take quite a while!
Traceablity is the game, any farmer can play,
When imported wheat is cheaper, it magically goes away!
First take a passport, needed for every load,
Make sure it’s filled in triplicate, before it hits the road.
Add an Assurance Sticker, after examination took place last June,
Thank heavens that we passed it, failure leads to doom!
Add the lorries last three loads, having fully inspected the trailer,
Get the driver to countersign, or you will have a failer!
Fill in the Renewable Energy Directive, crops not grown on an SSSI?
It’s something to do with Brussels, heaven and they know why!
A test result for Mycotoxyn, I’ve done a risk assessment,
By this time I’ve lost the will to live, just protecting my grain investment!
Then I sign the haulier’s pad, I add the trailers code,
I write that he’s swept it three times, after every load!
So next time you buy Cream Crackers, Bourbons or Rich Tea,
The traceability process was started here by me!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues on Saturday morning at 7am!

www.u-boot.co.uk
BootLine: 07852 707 074
E-mail: baldockbard(at)u-boot.co.uk
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